So, I think I may have just made a new friend (really a couple of them in the last few weeks). She is my sweet neighbor who volunteered to watch my dogs while I was going to be out of town. Yes, she watched my adorable baby dogs and leaving them with someone I don’t really know is always a struggle for me. I get anxiety too bitches. She not only did a great job with them, but she also took extra good care of my home when I was gone to the mother fuckin Christina Aguilera show- YAY!
Yes, bitches you heard me! I was blessed enough to go to the mother fucking Christina Aguilera show in Vegas. So many Yays about that trip (in another post).
My neighbor stayed over at my house in my absence. She slept in my bed with my babies and even washed my sheets she slept on. Like, heller? Fuckin thoughtful much? Unless she washed them because she had a gang bang on my bed and soiled the sheets. If she did, I’m not mad about it. Is that even possible? A woman in my bed? It’s been a long time, but I think the possibilities are endless here in this magical place- gang banged sheets or not. That was so thoughtful to wash the sheets. Total opposite end of the spectrum from the crazy inconsiderate summer I experienced last year, but either way my sheets are clean- yay again.
This is the first time in my life that I feel different – like I’m open to these friendships where I think I was leery before. Clearly not leery enough, cause last summer still happened. That cracked out hoe with the vacant eyes really got under my lovely dark dewy skin. But that vacant bitch can’t even stop me, this is the start to my new life, a new way of living, and a new income bracket for me. I’m sure it’s nothing compared to so many of your brackets, but it’s best for me, so far. (My oh my what a big bracket you’ve got. Cum up inside me sometime.)
I like my odds here-now. It feels like I might actually have a fucking real chance to succeed. No other bitches are in my way right now, just myself and I’m stepping aside and I’m going to let me win for once.
So, the friend I was saying I made, my neighbor, I feel like I can trust her. If I can trust her with my dogs and my house and not worry too much when I’m gone, then I think I can trust her with practically anything, right? Those are the most important things to me out here. That’s my family ya know~! She may not know it yet – but we’re going to bond. We will braid each other’s hair one day.
I also deepened another friendship. Another “tester friend” invited me to Disneyland and I had the best fucking time. Another one of the “best days of my life, so far” kinda days. Since then, I told him, “We’re going to be friends.” We’ve even shared animals, it doesn’t get more personal than that does it? To be my friend, a good friend that you (I) can trust with your (my) heart, animals and home is a big deal to me. Plus, I got to go to Disneyland, there’s a future post about that too. I’ve just been super busy, but busy good.
It feels like it’s actually happening for me here and it’s about fucking time. They say there is a 2-year incubation period when you move here and if you can get past that you can actually make it here. Well, I’m cumming up on my 2-year anniversary. I’ve done some of my own healing, I’ve danced in the rain with the hummingbirds, and I love my own company. I think I got this. Actually, I know I got this.
I’m excited to be making what feels like real friendships. I even think I’m deepening a friendship from someone I grew up with, but didn’t really hang out in the club scene with. A big Gay YAY to all of that!
And the day after I got back from Vegas my new neighbor friend came over cause I wanted to give her some money for her kindness and a joint. She decided to share her joint with me and we smoked a yummy fatty in my backyard. We were stoned AF and opening up to each other. The night permeated with the smell of Mary Jane and was also filled with us expressing our disappointment for what our time alive in this country is turning out to be. A moment in time when white supremacy came back to life after we thought it was defeated and laid to rest. Well bitches, those zombies are back and have hit us with a sucker punch. They are literally trying to eat your brains and make you so stupid that you don’t know what end is up. That’s what happens when we ban books, ban schools from teaching about the Holocaust, and all the other atrocities of white colonialism- the zombies win. Makes it easier to eat your brains the next time too.
We are in the mist of that zombie sucker punch and they are striking hard. They even stole the Supreme Court- it doesn’t get better or bigger than that. The zombies have infiltrated the fuckin Supreme Court. They used deceit, misinformation, flat out lies, and sometimes little, tiny bits of truth to get their way. They think that if they scream louder and appear scary that the masses will back down from them, and we will just willingly give up our freedoms and our brains. Well not this happy homo. I like my brains just the way they are, thank you very much. They may be a little scrambled but they are mine. MINE!
We are actually living in a moment of time that is going to make it into American History books. What are you going to do to stop them? Hopefully, the Her-story will be written like, “The Zombie Apocalypse was stopped by honest, good, truth telling people who believed in equality for everyone and not just the few.” Then, “They rose up together to defeat the zombies once and for all.” And “There was a mass registration to vote to defeat the zombies once and for all.”
After finishing as much of the joint as we could it was bedtime and the desert cold night was a little biting. My new homie excused herself graciously. I was left thinking, “I trust that bitch. More than a lot of people out here. I think I found another one.”
So, I guess I wonder if my blog is actually more about friendships than it is going to about be about sex and being all dirty cochino? Maybe it’s about both? I’m not exactly sure yet but this sure feels good and right. It’s my own therapy.
As I started to pick up the house before bed, yes, I was cleaning the house stoned. What? Indica, indicacouch has the opposite effect on me and it’s more like dancing around in my underwear to no music playing kinda experience. I was so stoned that I forgot that I threw the garbage out earlier that day and didn’t replace the liner. So, as I was cleaning the kitchen, I picked up a bowl filled with the gross concoction of food I grew tired of trying to eat and danced my way to the garbage with it. Then as if in a fun dance move, I put my foot on the floor lever and threw the food where the garbage bag should have been.
Yup, there I was stoned on all fours, laughing at myself as I scraped up the gross dry AF meat and gravy like substance from the floor and shutters. I smiled, cleaned it and told the dogs to leave it alone (cause it had hot sauce from my swag bag).
MMMhmmm…the floor and shutters because when my stoned ass realized that there was no liner in the garbage my delayed reflexes stopped the pouring in the garbage, and it spilled it everywhere else. So instead of just having to clean the garbage out, I had to clean up so much more. But I did it happy. I did it with a smile and a gyration in my movements.
As I scraped, I thought, “She sees me, she likes me, I like me… I like her.” I think I may have found another homie like Rhonda Rae, but she’s not 80; and there’s nothing wrong with having an 80-year-old bestie either. I’ve had one of the best and most fun experiences with that old bat. It’s left me feeling more capable and like I said before, I feel like I actually have a chance to succeed here.
Yea, she sees me, and I think I can trust this bitch. This might be something good and I’m okay opening up my heart and my home to her and to Disneyland too. I just hope she doesn’t look over the fence to see if I’m ever watching porn. Which reminds me, I need to watch more porn.
She also talked about how loving and cuddly my dogs are and how they are a great substitute for a husband or need for a husband. This bitch was in my head cause that’s exactly what I know to be true. Was she calling me out? Just the kinda motivation I need from a friend. I love my dogs and I know they are going to love me back just as much- if not more. They are always there for me whenever I need them – like all the time. I always say run towards your happy and they are my happy place.
Things are so good right now. Would introducing an outside energy source, or even a husband in the future fuck up the good trajectory I’m on? Cause I don’t have time for that type of negativity or distraction. I want to be happy, but can I be happier with a dick in my butt? I don’t feel like fighting anymore, but I will if I must. And one day I’m not going to be able to hold back the snatch itching to come out of my hands, and I’m gonna snatch you right back rude bitches. But I don’t want to.
Right now, that part of me is on freeze because I like the person I’m able to be here. I came here for peace. Can we be at least decent to each other? This is way better than Utah. So much better.
I’m going to take my two new friends, Rhonda Rae, my old friendships, along with my doggies and have happy experiences here. I hope I keep adding good friends to my circle; real friends. Yes, universe I’m asking for you to give me good and lasting friendships to the list of people I can trust here. That’ll be tits- universe, total tits. What? A gay guy can’t say tits?
The Happy and Mostly Friendly Homo
PS Was there ever an answer to Ben’s question in that movie? “Why my poop green?” Why is people’s poop green? Do I google it?
PSS Am I going to know it when I’m actually thriving? Cause that’s the trajectory I’m on. Is it a feeling? Will I just know? Whatever that feeling feels like I hope you all get the chance to feel it too. I think I might be feeling it. I’m not sure ….but I just might be.
PSSS I love you Palm Springs, again most of you. I don’t need to love all of you. Lots of times the world gives you back what you give. So don’t be a cunt and the universe won’t be giving you a cunt response right back. Friends? Foe? Friend.
PSSSS How cute, when you let the JLo movie play way- way past the credits, just to hear the music, there’s another short clip of the wedding/cake scene. It was way cute, and they all actually looked like they were having fun. I love to have background noise when I write, and it has turned out to be the best background movie ever for it. And for every other occasion too.
PSX5 I know many of us may have taken sit out and not voted for Biden in the primaries but come November you know we have to, right? You can’t be gay and not get that. Or you could… be blinded or just old fashioned af, so old fashioned that it’s offensive and disgusting in a different racist self-hating kind of way, but you still have to vote for Biden. Or it’s the death of America as we know it. She’s already changed enough in recent times, so you need to register to vote and vote for Biden.
PSX6 “I know what they say me, about hopeless romantics that were weak and I’m not weak. It takes strength to keep believing in something after you keep falling flat on your face. And I do. I do Joe.. I believe in magic; I believe good things happen if you are a good person. I believe in soulmates and signs and hummingbirds. I believe that love never dies, and that forever is real and that as long as I can…” I believe in magic and I’m a good person, are you? This place is pretty fuckin magical.
PSX7 Come on old employer, make an offer that’s not offensive to me. Let’s wrap this shit up. You know what you guys did wrong. A great offer and I’ll drop the EEOC complaint next week. 😊 I got receipts- you know I do, and you know the truth, I know the truth and the people who were in the wrong know the truth. A decent offer. I deserve that much- you know I do. I know I do. Just do right by me, for once and let’s move on.
PSX8 And who cares what Marjorie Taylor Green She Hulk is screaming. We know what treason is and if any more American blood spills it’s on her head and those of the GOP that supported or sat idle while the real treason took place. This is all your fault- but you planned it this way. Didn’t you zombies. Get your own brains. Gross.
PSX9 And living for Ruples … all them queens is shady ladies. LOL, but I still don’t like that crazy down the drain Jane. And she’s right, we have the POWER and we have to use it. Long live the Ru Public for which we all stand, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Vote Blue.
