Today, the Saturday before Memorial Day, marks two (2) years since I moved here to the Land of Milk and Hunnies. Omfg, it still is the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. I fully admit that I still need to get out and have a little more fun than I’ve been allowing myself to have. It’s not the easiest for me to balance work and having too much fun. Sometimes too much fun has a way of affecting my other life domains and so forgive me if I’m a little cautious.
After the last year’s harassment at work, crazy borderline bitches entering my house without permission, a cancer scare, and then having a renter from gay hell made me realize I needed to pull in the reins; so, I did. I’m now cautiously optimistic that I can do anything I put my mind, heart, and soul into.
Pulling in the reigns allowed me to recenter, refocus and realign my goals and intentions for myself and for this place. I didn’t come out here to fight with people, but I will if I must. I realize I’ve got more strength and bravery than I ever even realized, just like so many of you do too. We’ve all been through so much and deserve peace, love, and too much freedom.
In the quietness of meditation, prayer, talking to the universe or God, whatever you want to call her, I realized I can do hard things (pun intended), I can have my guards up and still let good people in (inside me), and I can love myself enough to make good decisions for me!
That’s a new concept for me. I was raised with my mom’s voice in my head reminding me to do for other people, to be kind, and help those that are in need, sometimes to my own detriment. But I don’t have to anymore because if my cup is empty, I can’t help refill anyone else’s. So, I’m going to do the best at keeping my cup as full as I can. And that means also getting out there to examine your full cups 😉
In the last two (2) years I’ve had two jobs. One led to a decision to start my own little practice and fuck yes, it’s working; I’m working. Aug 1st, is the date I had my very first client and that week I only had two clients total. Fast forward 9 months and I’m booked almost everyday and a have a client waitlist. Like how freaking amazing is that? People are actually waiting for me or to work with me on their mental health needs. I get to help people feel better, process difficult emotions, release and let go of traumas, and be their true authentic selves. If anything speaks to my soul, it’s that part. FUUUUCK YAAAS!
Being the homosexual that I am I want to sum up the sentiment by quoting a song from, “Wonka.”
For a moment
Life doesn’t seem quite so bad
And for a moment
I kind of forgot to be sad
I realize why I left Utah and never really knew what I was running to, and it was you and this magical place. I’d never been here before and never really had enough money to travel- so it was the best kind of surprise I’ve ever had, kinda like a good piece of chocolate or a good dickin.
For a moment I kinda did forget to be sad. I was grieving the loss of my adopted son, James. He ran away to be with his birth family his senior year in high school and I never got him back. Years of opening up my heart, home, and devoting my time to him didn’t pay off at all ☹ It left me broken, he broke my heart.
He made some stupid decisions when he ran away which ended with him going to prison (for Goddess knows how long). Then there were the traitorous tumpers that went out of their way to make grocery shopping uncomfortable for me, to harassment at different work places to feeling so unsafe that I purchased my first gun. Like wtf? Can’t all you angry hate filled bitches just ignore me? Leave me the fuck alone? Or go the fuck away? Or get a hobby that doesn’t include trying to destroy other people?
And Covid further put a wedge and space between me and my family members, so after that I saw an opportunity to get out of Utah and took it. I’m so glad I did.
Every morning, I try to take in this place. The hummingbirds, the plants, the mountains (that are second to the beauty of Utah’s mountains), my job, my house, my dogs, and the yummy- yummy taste of freedom and full cups. Freedom to wear whatever you want (a fuckin tutu if you want), sound as gay as you are without repercussions, and fuck whomever you want (just take DoxyPEP). I now also get to work in a harassment free work environment that I had to create for myself because even in Palm Motha’ Fuckin Springs there are haters. And I did just that- I created the space for myself to thrive and I finally feel like I’m closer to that goal than I’ve ever been allowed to be in my whole life.
Two (2) years and I am still taking a few minutes every day to be grateful for being here. I’m glad to be here sharing this space with most of you. I’m glad that despite some bad players in our world, I still feel safe. Well safer than Utah felt the last couple years that’s fo’sho. I’m fucking happy I get to experience this with you. Which leads me to another Wonka song:
A world of our own (a world of our own)
A place to escape to (a place to escape to)
The world of our own (a world of our own)
Where we can be free (where we can be free)
Wherever you go (wherever you go)
Wherever life takes you (wherever life takes you)
This is our home
A world of our own
I’m so happy to be here with most of you. I love this place and I hope we always elect people who will allow us to exist here, just like we are. It’s been a mostly great 2 years. Thank you!
“I have tasted freedom. I will not give up that which I have tasted.” Harvey Milk,
The Happy Homo
PS I hope that you are registered to vote because the magic of this place can be stolen from us. That evil spirit is looking to oppress you and me. Vote and don’t let them take our magic.
PSS I fucking loved Atlas starring Jennifer Lopez and other yummy stars. The actor that voices Smith is pretty yummy and grows one sexy mustache. You should watch it!
PSSS It feels like I haven’t been writing about all the ideas I have racing through my mind. I’m going to try to do better cause it feels good to get it out. It’s my own therapy. That along with Ruples and everything JLo, and gravitating towards things that shimmer with love are my forms of therapy. (Granted, I also want an Accelerated Resolution Therapist of my own. I see how effective it has been on my clients and I want some of that for myself.)
PSSSS 2 years and many clients later. I can honestly say that I’ve made a positive change in our community, if even just a small one. I’ve helped some of our people process grief, loss, trauma, rape, child abuse, assaults, neglect, discrimination, harassment, bullying, partner trauma, and being exiled from families for being gay or trans. I can say I’ve changed the vibration here and made it even happier than it was before. That makes my nipples hard. 😉
PSX5 I have a mom story and then a failed hooker post to share in the coming days.
PSX6 I’m glad I get to share this place with you. Cheers and Happy Memorial weekend. Looking forward to spending a happy rest of my life with you guys. I wish you a happy rest of your life too. (Everyone except Ian – fuck you Ian. Yup, I’m still a work in progress.)
PSX7 This is Me Now.
PSX8 What ever happened with that Chick-fil-a? It’s so weird they want our gay dollars and pay for it with our freedoms. If you let them in then they will have a voice here and they don’t deserve one. When I arrived, I also thought it was weird to also see a Ken Garff dealership here. They are big in Utah because Ken Garff was a Mormon. They, meaning Mormon establishments also like to take our gay dollars at our own detriment. I don’t know much about the dealership here, the owners, or if they tithe 10% of your car purchase to the LDS Church, but it makes me think twice about where I do spend my gay dollars. I purchased my first hybrid from Ken Garff in Utah. It was the first time that people that worked in the garage/service part of the dealership treated me with kindness. Where do you spend your gay dollars? And aren’t tired of doing things for others that are detrimental to ourselves?
PSx 9
PS x 10
PSX11
