I had one of the best average days today (so far). It’s pretty awesome when the average days are so fuckin beautiful and peaceful you melt into the surroundings. I woke up early, spent time with the dogs and the birds while I drank my coffee, and I was early for my first appointment of the day.
While I was sitting there, mesmerized by the flurry of hummingbirds, my own intrusive thoughts began to swirl about my purrrdy head. “That lying cheating devil is going to try and steal this election too. It is what he does.” Then another popped in and another, “He’s so full of hate and just pits American vs American. He does putin’s job of trying to destroy America for him.” “Am I ready for something, if he does something? Cause I’m pretty sure something is going to happen; it is just uncertain at what scale.” “He has always been putin’s little bitch.”
I looked around at my cute/adorable patio and the magic I’ve created here. I took a hit of some bomb ass weed, followed by a sip of a yummy cab, and then began to love on my dogs while listening to some Norah Jones, JLo, Christina, and Billie Eilish. Yup, weed just makes everything better! Billie hits differently stoned and I appreciate her more after smoking a bowl. It seems like she goes a little bit deeper inside me… like she penetrates me deeper. And we know how we like things to go deeper.
I thought to myself, “Fuck you intrusive thoughts! And fuck that fat piece of gluttonous greed filled sack of lard and lies.” He’s the Lard of lies..hehe. I realized there is no sense in worrying about these things now when I can worry about them in 20…19…18…17.. or so more days; at least until VP Harris wins the White House. I figure I might as well enjoy this moment in time, where peace spills throughout my home, animals are welcome and fly around my backyard, neighbors are kind and loving, work is plentiful, and I’m happy.
Look, I also worry about the future but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy peace while we have it. The future is uncertain, and we all need to get out and vote for Kamala Harris to save our own skins. We homos, happy, unhappy, angry, depressed, anxiety filled, and borderline bitches alike need to ensure our voices are heard; we literally have skin in the game. (Did I use that sports reference right?)
I love a good plan. And She ready, meaning me—- I’m ready. I am prepared because I thought about it and the lard of lies didn’t accept that America fired him 4 years ago. And he is not going to accept that we don’t want to rehire him now.
You and me, I or they, she and him… all of us mother fuckers should have at least the smallest of plans should some shit go down. Besides, we all know that rich bitch ain’t built for prison and will do anything, ANYTHING -to get out of it. And yes rudy-patudy I know ain’t ain’t a word.
He’s going to lie and he’s going to invoke violence like the devil did on January 6th. The lard of lies will try to create chaos, and I say this not to create panic but to encourage you to prepare; at least minimally. He will try and overthrow the government again- because he has no civic knowledge or appreciation for our constitution, equality, or the basic American principals of freedom, hard work, and opportunity for everybody.
He will do this to prevent the truth from coming out – that he is a treasonous fat bastard and will do anything to keep his lardy ass out of prison.
So, what is my plan you ask? I said she ready!!!!
Well bitch, I’m glad you asked cause I twas just about to tell you. I’ve got enough food and bottled water for a couple weeks, Jesus candles, lighters, some bomb ass weed, and vicious attacks dogs to keep me company should some shit go down. Kinda like the same stuff ALL OF US SHOULD HAVE because we do live in earthquake land, aka Land of Dicks and Hunnies, Hunny.
So, is she ready? Meaning you, are you prepared for an emergency? If not, I suggest you do at least a bareback minimum and get canned goods and water. If for no other reason- it’s good to have it cause we never know when we have to rely on it.
Look, I’m a proud democrat and a proud gun owner. I pray I never have to use it, but it sure does make me feel safer these days. I also think it is a good idea just to have the bareback minimum of supplies should our government have the hiccups for a week or two while Papa Joe puts a foot in their asses (should they do something treasonous).
God Bless America,
The Happy Homo
PS Oooooh gurrl, we may just be living in Biblical times. Howciting! Howciting, because I read that boring book and good wins every time. Good wins over and over but that doesn’t mean we can do nothing. It means we still gotta fight if we have to. We have to vote! SAVE AMERICA!
PSS A few nights after I wrote this, I went to the Sklyer Gentry Show and I think I laughed so hard my own tampon fell out. If you are from out of town, or are kinda clueless like me and live here in Palm Motha Fuckin Springs, I suggest you go see his show if you can. Well worth the $28 and probably the best belly laugh I’ve had in a while. So fucking dumb I looooooved it.
PSSS Yes, I know I’m a boring gay and usually the last to know about cool things. I’m so uncool… but this uncool happy homo also suggests, if you haven’t already, which you probably have cause I’m usually the last one to do it… watch, “Where the Bears Are” on Tubi. Fucking hilarious and sooo dumb it makes me happy. I’ve only got 2 under my elastic waist band and 5 more to go.
PSSSS Fuck these mosquitos! Ugh!
PSX5 Enjoy your peace today because if we don’t show up for vote it will be challenged.
PSX6 I love you (minus 3-4 of ya)
PSX7 *Hint* + *Disclaimer* I’m never early for my first appointment, well hardly ever early for the first appointment of the day. Not super late but not out of the ordinary to be 1-4 minutes late. I make up for it on the back end. (Love me some back end.) If that bothers you as a prospective client please don’t schedule the first appointment of the day! Also, when you book a 60-minute appointment with me, you don’t get face time with me for the full 60 minutes. That’s not how it works babes. As disclosed in my first sessions, we begin to wind down 15 min to the hour and I take the last 10 minutes to do notes and prepare for the next client. That 50 minutes may be all about you, but the rest of my day is full of other people who also need someone who gives a shit. (rant over).
