Hey gaaaay, hey! So tomorrow I will turn 48 years old. Before I get into it…did you know that today, July 6, 1907, was Frida Eyebrows Kahlo’s bday? I’d like to celebrate brown people instead of locking them up like evil runs cold through my veins.   Well today,  I find myself deep in my own feelings and sometimes the hustle of working and staying on top of shit gets exhausting.   I’m trying to play catch up after x 1 month of being out of work.

Post surgery, I’m still facing a bit of fatigue and leg zaps, but those are supposed to go away within the year. Thank goodness. But I’m not a 100% by far and am treading above water, but my arms are getting tired af, and it seems like the world we find ourselves living in is cruel, mean, and adding weight for me and you to carry as we swim the waters, now rapids of life. All the while making it harder for you and me to stay above water all the time.

And I’m a therapist…. I’ve got tools in my belt… but I am human…and I’m a feeler. What does that have to do with anything? Well Quaren, I was just about to tell you.  When I see what they are doing to people, innocent people…innocent human beings, families, and children- I feel it.  They are cruel as fuck and people are dying because of their abuse. That’s murder- it’s not an accident.  Those facilities are using cruelty, physical abuse, and are not sanitary for humans to inhabit or for children to be in. That hurts to see… that bruises the soul. 

And it’s getting worse. The current icky status quo of this regime is something they are going to try and spread.  And the spineless congress people had an opportunity to stop him and didn’t. They failed us(a) all.  Those cowards. Them bitches didn’t put the American people in their forefront of their decision-making process and that disgusts me. People are going to go hungry. Kids, fucking kids from across all the colors of the race rainbow are going to go hungry. How is that not soul bruising for you? Or for congress?  

I’m almost 48… I look like a young 30 something or other (thank you JLo Beauty and Dove soap). Another year around the sun has left me thinking…do I even want to live in a country that is this cruel to human beings?  Do I want to be alive during a time where there is a revolution brewing and if they aren’t successful than we will have a dictator who is a fucking evil idiot and we will all suffer his wrath?

Do I even want to live in a time when white supremacy across the globe has grown and is infiltrating governments (not just our own) that are crucial to continue to protect the health of our planet? or at least keep it inhabitable for human beings, like us(a).  I feel sad about those things deeply… and I know many of you like it deep.    

Doh! Got off subject, but its true I did think about it… do I even want live right now? I feel so icky and helpless about the suffering of those innocent people. Do I even want to live in a country that hates people that look like me?

The answer… the answer is…FUCK YES!!!!  These bigots and crazy evil lunatics maybe able to bruise our souls with their evil actions to our fellow human beings, but bruises heal. It may hurt at the time, but they heal.  Some of their evil actions will leave a lasting mark on many of our souls. 

I realized, I want to be around for the healing process of our once great nation. Because when that revolution does happen, and it will happen, we (the good) will win.  We outnumber them, are smarter than them, and have the support of most of the planet and I’m sure countless people or god(s)/Gods, and other life forms watching from the heavens probably want to make sure that we are decent creatures to our own species and our planet, because the opposition right now is neither of those things. 

Russia is running the country into the ground. Their goal was to destroy our government, and they have.  The question is, for how long is America going to let this evil shit go on?  (Oprea glasses, *I can’t wait to see how this turns out*).  I get so impatient when so many innocent people are getting hurt/murdered. Ssso please hurry congress do your checking and balancing thing. In the mean-times, we all need to do what we can locally to spread love, hope and faith, because it’s running thing, like my patience.  When does the New American Revolution happen? Again, I’m super impatient.  *eyes darting side to side*

So, the answer is a scared but boisterous yes, yes bitch I do… I do want to stick around to fight for MY/OUR country. I HOPE all of you, they/them, and US(A) keep that hope alive and keep each other alive. It’s exhausting what they are doing to other humans, attacking our rights, and violating the US Constitution without care. Checks and balances are gone, and they are literally threatening congressmen on TV shows about their political career if they didn’t support the vote to take food out of the mouths of children and medications away from sick American humans so that the richest people in America can have more money.  Barf City.  

 Can you even imagine the conversation those evil sons of bitches are going to have as they attempt to enter the Gates of Heaven???

 *Gaaay Gasp*  

*Pearls clutched* 

What exactly are these Republican congress people going to say as they explain their vote to Jesus, the “Son of God”?  Yea, those same people who claim to be Christians and avid Bible thumpin people will have to explain this and their overall support of this devil.  

No maaaa’amzie-ma’am- I don’t actually buy that they are Christians for one Earth minute. Fuck those people- they are hypocrites and the kind of people that Jesus would flip over the tables in any of the rooms they were in with him.  Yes, I also love me some Jesus but OMG I at least listened to what he said in the New part of the Bible. 

He was all about love and hanging out with unsavory types of people just to let them know they matter. He is the the exact opposite of what we have leading our country.  He was a guy that actually had great love for immigrants and told people to love them.

“I was a stranger and you welcomed me” 

“When a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong. 34 You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.”

 My kind of guy.  Hearts…hearts… sigh ….sigh.

I’m just thought bubblin er’where… how in the hell are they going to explain hurting immigrants and queer people, Muslims, Blacks, Chinese, Japanize, etc…  the list goes on.

How are they going to explain not stopping the physical abuse or the murders of these innocent people that were plucked out of their life, kidnapped, stolen from their families, and them being forced to live in horrible conditions when they had the chance? This is deplorable behavior and absolutely makes me sick to my Christian stomach. Like, ewewewew. Barf.

So, quick change of subject. I did something…through my surgery recovery/healing process I’ve found out that I’m really a terrible JLo Superfan.  Yea, I was pretty disappointed in myself when I found out. And here I thought I was doing so great at it.  Well in my down time, I’ve found sooo much more JLO shit that I haven’t watched yet! There’s sooo many interviews, uploads, and dance performances that I haven’t even obsessed over yet!!!  I’m like sssso close to just getting a Youtube subscription so I can watch all these videos in peace! Those ads every couple of seconds- ewe.  I’ve missed so much and its fun doing a JLO download of all of it.  

I even came across one of her commercials for her perfumes.  I missed all those release dates. My life has been life’n for a long time and I know so many of yours has too. Did you know she has a bunch of fragrances?  I knew about three but there are more than that. So, it got me thought bubblin like I do….

Bubble- “Do I even smell like a JLo fan?”

Bubble- “What does a JLo fan even smell like?”   

Bubble- Do I want to put my money and my gay buying power where I feel the love the most? Where is the love most apparent for people like me and my community?

The answer is yes, I do want to use my gay buying power to support people who support me and aren’t going to hurt me or my community. And no, I don’t currently smell like a JLo Superfan-fan, but I will! 

It was at that stoned moment, after watching her commercial for PROMISE, that I went to order J to the Lo’s perfumes.  I live in mother fuckin Palm Springs, so I can wear whatever fragrances I want without fear of harassment.  So, I ordered all the ones that were available that I don’t have.

I got Limitless, a reup on Glow, ONE, and PROMISE being delivered on my birthday tomorrow!   Look, I think that we may be either be in the end of days and/or the start of a revolution, maybe even a new understanding of creation is going to be unveiled. I don’t know, but something sure is brewing.

All of that brewing makes me want just to bathe myself wherever and whatever makes me feel the most love.  My dogs, JLo, hummingbirds, and Jesus. All good things.  Those things do it for me right now and have for a long time.   I think due to my own childhood trauma I’ve always looked for the glimmer or light. 

So, I want to make sure that I did/do everything I can to support my favorite star. She makes me feel the love through her art, and I think I could pump up the volume, pump up the volume on showing my support in other ways than just blasting her music 24/7.  Now that I can afford to and have a little bit of money left over after paying the bills, I want to JLo fan the fuck out!!!!

Like, I’m for sure going to watch the new movie in the theater because if we don’t show up in theaters, on platforms and creative outlets where people are that support us(a) and our freedoms then we may not have them in years to come.  There is evil in this world that plans on trying and whitewash Hollywood.  If we don’t support our stars at this moment in time, then the wrong message is going to be sent out across America and the world. We need to support our allies, especially when they look brown like me and so many of you!

LEE-ading me to my next stoned subject.  I simply must get back to the gym and I hope I do.  I am clear to start physical therapy in another couple of weeks but that didn’t stop me from trying to have fun today.  

I went to a pool party earlier today, the first one after surgery, and OMG did I feel fat. There were some hot yummy men there too.  Like more than I could eat in one sitting.  Friendly, hot yummy men. But I was feeling my fun self, and some of that exhaustion set in, and I still have a terrible little puppy at home that needs supervision.  She’s still a baby, doesn’t really think, more of an instinct kinda gal, and that means she gets hurt by falling- A LOT! But that cute little puppy keeps getting up.  And you and I can too!   

We can take a break and then we get up! Get the fuck back up because giving up in these mean-times is not an option. We need YOU, we need they/them, and US(A).  

In fact, maybe stay in bed a little bit longer … in these mean-times. Do some shit that is going to make you recharge, feel better, stay safe, and  feel loved.  Self love matters in this moment and the shit that we tell ourself about ourselves matters. It can’t ever mimic the stuff they about us(a). Because we are deserving of love, equality, safety, and freedom.

We’ve got to stick around to vote this bastard out of office and/or vote for CA to form it’s own country.  The stuff he’s doing is not sustainable for ALL minorities in America.  And if you are poor than you are fucked too!  Now’s the time we vote together knowing that he’s evil – it’s clear and all the terrible things he did to hurt our fellow countrymen cannot be forgotten.  Like, eweewewe.

We have to start planning now…because we are literally voting for our lives. And don’t fuck it up! *Alyssa Lip Smack*

So, the only thought bubble that remains at this moment to share is- I love you. These are scary times for so many brown people, queer people – especially our trans humans, and immigrants. It’s scary for people who aren’t wealthy, people on Medicare, and EBT or food stamps are all terrified.  People that are reliant on medications across our country are terrified.      We the people will need to cross our own Edmund Pettus Bridge and we’d better fuckin get to it before its too late.  They are scary people, and they are coming after all of us(a).  We can’t deny it any longer.   Where’s the line to the New American Revolution?

And as for those congressmen who voted to hurt people….  They will answer to my God for their actions.  Jesus Christ, I can’t wait for them to answer for their actions.  Lord, please hurry back, we need you more than ever. These people be crazy and murderous, please send help.

In Freedom,

The Scared, Patriotic, Christian Homo

PS Be the person you needed when you were a kid, teenager, and maybe when you were a little weak last week. Because let’s face it… life is hard, and they are making it harder on us(a). Be the good and be good to each other, because they will eventually come for us(a) too.

PSS  Say no to the shit you hate… like dictators.

PSSS  Here is the JLO commercial for Promise and I am not going to lie… it’s a short and a little inspiring. (Still haven’t received my bday presents I bought myself. It’s in route. Where’s my JLO fumes at?)

PSSSS  7/7/77 ….  7:47… no I’m not having a stroke. LOL, that’s when I immigrated out of my mommy’s tummy via c-section.  I could have been a gold star gay, but I had to try it a couple times before I realized  ewe ewe, it’s not for me.  Happy bday to me and if you are a July baby, happy bday to you.

PSX5 How disgusting that pos is using the military to scare young children in a LA park instead of sending our great military to help assist in locating those children and adults that were swept away in the flash flood they were not warned about. How gross and disgusting! My family originates from Texas… I come from a long line of patriotic brown people. You know that this administration fired all those meteorologist – no matter what they say- they are liars, manipulators, and are corrupt af!

PSX6 Russia is destroying our country from the inside out. He’s a Russian asset – you know it and so do I. They are not planning on making America better or great…they plan on destroying it and us(a) in the process. Are we really going to let them? No really… I’m asking for a friend, myself and the American people.