No matter what anyone else tells you in this life… empathy, the power of empathy is not weakness, it’s a strength. I encourage you to lean into it, bathe in it, and don’t be afraid to put yourself in someone else’s shoes as it relates to experiences, history, obstacles they face, or their own personal set of struggles.
It’s not weak to care about your fellow human being. It’s not weak to want to make sure the most vulnerable among us(a) are fed, housed, and have access to medication, medical care, and opportunities. Anyone selling empathy as a weakness is a grifter that would rob you blind the first chance they get, kinda like this administration.
I was born and raised in Utah into a big beautiful brown family. Tortillas were always abundant in the homes of my grandparents. I think I’ve mentioned it before I had an uncle who was a quadriplegic and an aunt who was paraplegic. They’ve passed away years ago but having them in my (our) lives helped shape the person that I am today. They helped me see things from their eyes, just by being alive.
Yes, seeing things from their eyes was my introduction to empathy. I spent formative years with them seeing firsthand how they were treated differently. Years of people staring, whispering, and asking weird boundary violating questions helped me understand that everybody fucking matters, everyone has feelings, and most people have souls. Just because someone’s body doesn’t look like or work like yours, doesn’t mean that their brain isn’t filled with life, love, dreams and hope. It cemented the idea that people who may have different abilities should still be afforded opportunities in work, love, play, and within the family units. All of us(a) matter no matter what any billionaire eugenics pushing racist bitches be sayin.
Today I wanted to share my excitement for my intern and his achievements. He’s in his last week of his master’s program and has wrapped up (beautifully and tenderly) all of his cases at Happy Homo Therapy. Although my venting in this blog is my form of therapy, it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with my private practice (my job). Sometimes it may but it very much is two different things.
I am very proud of Malakai, Intern Extraordinaire, because his existence alone is testament to people with different abilities can do great things. His existence is someone else’s answered prayer. I guess in his own way he’s a triple threat (in a different sense of the meaning). He’s black and some may perceive that as a threat. He’s in a wheelchair and some may perceive that as a threat. He’s also a transman -again, some may perceive that as a threat. When your being alive and succeeding is a threat to someone else- that’s power.
On the reals, if his achievements and existence are perceived as threats to you, then you don’t know empathy and you’re an ignorant sob. If you’re mad cause you have to try harder because a black trans man in a wheelchair is doing better than you-then try harder. That isn’t his fault- that’s yours.
I’ve heard it over and over how much it means to have a black therapist creating black spaces in a largely white community. I hear and see how much it normalizes someone else’s struggles to have a trans man as their therapist. I also see how people can be inspired by a man in a wheelchair leading support groups, advocating for them in spaces they aren’t in, and how much it means for people with various adverse experiences to have someone that actually gives a fuck about what they are saying and how they are treated in this world. His presence alone is an answer to someone’s prayer.
Congratulations Malakai for completing your practicum. I look forward to following your adventures as you continue to fight for social justice for all people. Thank you for letting me be a small part of your story and thank you for comforting me when the world was attacking our people across America. We’ve shared some tears and lots of feels. Thank you for helping me meet the moment(s) for and with our clients as oppression, corruption, and devastation arose as life writes our own American history. Who knows what is going to happen to our democracy and our freedoms, but one thing is for certain, showing up for each other is more important now than it has ever been in my life. Thank you for providing care and comfort for the clients you served at Happy Homo Therapy.
I look forward to having you as a licensed colleague and not my intern. Good luck in all you do. Keep showing up because your presence alone helps calm people’s fears and allows them space to dream their own American dreams. Your life matters. Be the triple threat in the best way possible and lead with empathy and love.
Condragulations,
The Happy Homo
PS As I wrap up my time at Happy Homo Therapy, I want to take a moment to thank you. It has been a privilege to share space with you, to hear your stories, and to roll alongside you in your journey. I am deeply grateful for the trust you placed in me, the honesty you brought to our sessions, and the courage you showed in showing up for yourself each time we met.
Though my internship has come to an end, the work you’ve done and the growth you’ve made are yours to carry forward. I hope you continue to lean on the strengths you’ve built, the tools you’ve practiced, and the resilience you’ve shown.
Thank you again for allowing me to be part of your journey. I wish you continued strength, healing, and success in all that lies ahead.
With gratitude,
Malakai, Masters of Social Work Student Intern
PSS
Hello,
I wanted to take moment to personally thank you for trusting Happy Homo Therapy for your mental health needs. The last few years have been both challenging and rewarding for my practice, our community, and our desires to chase our goals, dreams, and hopes in an equal and just world.
I wanted to express my appreciation for YOU for your willingness to work with an intern in your time at my practice. It has been a privilege and honor to supervise Malakai, MSW Intern Extraordinaire over the last couple years.
Sometimes clients can be reluctant to obtain care from an intern, but you were brave, you trusted the process, and YOU did it! As you found out, Malakai is a very capable clinician and it’s not lost on me the part that YOU played in his education. Without clients willing to see an intern, it makes it difficult for students to finish their last year(s) of their education, placing road blocks or delays in their goals to serve you and our community as a fully licensed clinician.
As queer people, sometimes it’s hard-to-find people who actually give a shit about our plight or struggles. Malakai demonstrated that he was that kind of intern/person who you can trust with your mental health needs and so much more. I’m very proud of the work he did and the work that you did with him.
To Malakai,
Thank you for your dedication to our people, our community, and showing up during hard times to meet the moment head on. Thank you for everything.
I can’t wait to see where the future takes you and I know good things are in your future.
Congratulations on your achievement.
Thank you again and stay safe out there.
Wishing You Joy,
Lee
PSSS For more about Malakai visit his website. Also he loves Karamo Karega Brown and has a dream of being on his show. https://strongwheeld.com/ I think Karamo is his JLo.
