Healing While the World and America hurts is like walking up hill – in heels every direction you take.   As a therapist, I just wanted to acknowledge that fact because it weighs heavily on many of us(a) including me: it’s incredibly hard to heal from past trauma when new trauma keeps happening every single motha fuckin day to American citizens.

Clients often ask—and I ask too—“How do we focus on healing when the world feels like it’s falling apart? How come no one is stopping this evil dementia ridden pedo?” If you’ve wondered the same, you’re not alone. These overwhelming feelings are valid AF, and we’re navigating them together. Yes boo, were all going through this with you.  You aren’t walking this path alone, none of us(a) are. Yeah, we walk together through the valley of the shadows of death for the heals of it, we will fear no evil.  Up hills in fucking heels is almost impossible, but thou art with us(a).

It’s painful to watch our country and our people suffer under leadership that thrives on division, corruption, and harming innocent people (especially brown people). It’s hard to comprehend that someone entrusted with protecting us(a) is instead enriching themselves, robbing the US Treasury and the taxpayers, dismantling democracy, and endangering lives around the globe. That reality adds another layer of trauma for so many Americans.  Make it stop!!!!

On a personal level, I’m still grieving my own losses.  It’s not a secret, I’m a little stagnant and broken, but trying to heal. I’m guilty of focusing on other people’s healing and not my own.  When my adopted son left, he didn’t just run away—he took with him the dreams I had for a family.

I always imagined daughters, quinceañeras, long flowing beautiful black Cher hair (the youngest one in curls like her zaddy), and a future filled with love, pink frilly things, things that sparkled, and laughter. Instead, I adapted to a life of football games, wrestling tournaments, and the challenges of raising a child carrying his own deep festering wounds caused by early childhood trauma. It wasn’t easy, in fact- I mentioned it above- I’m still healing from it.   But I’m grateful for the teachers, coaches, and mentors who stepped in when I couldn’t. Positive role models, especially now- are fucking important.

I’ve learned that no amount of love or protection can stop a teenager from making risky choices (especially when they weren’t given a solid foundation to stand on and were at a disadvantage from utero). I keep stumbling trying to find my footing from that significant loss.  It’s hard to balance and adapt to my shattered dreams being my new reality and allowing space for myself to make new ones. And on top of all that shit is a fat evil orange turd of a piggie hiking up the costs on American LIFE—literally the costs of everything we Americans need to live and survive has increased. 

The realization that my son was already at such a big disadvantage broke/breaks my heart, but it also taught me something: healing is possible, even when life doesn’t go as planned.  That goes for me and for him.  He did some great things while with me. He learned to read, got a couple of wrestling medals, and passed most of his classes.  That little shit almost graduated high school…he was sooo close.  That’s a win for him and me. It’s hard, though—to find the glimmers in the muck and pain, especially when the world feels so unsafe and unjust right now for people who look or sound like me.

I share this story because I know I’m not alone in feeling exhausted by both personal and our American collective pain. If you’re struggling, and the likelihood that you are if you are an American is high, please remember: your feelings are valid AF. Healing isn’t linear, and it’s okay to stumble, crumble, and fall. What matters is that we keep choosing kindness, empathy, and hope—even when it feels impossible. Don’t give up hope!  And what matters the most is getting the fuck back up after a stumble or crumble, whether you lose your footing and fall on your own or some racist fat piggie pushes you down. Get the fuck back up!  This battle isn’t just personal and not just because I have brown skin. It’s because I and we are Americans and actually give a shit about other life on this planet. We are fighting for safety and equality in our own futures and the futures of generations to come. So no matter how hard it is, get the fuck back up- it’s no longer a choice.

We need to teach our children that cruelty, corruption, and bigotry are not American virtues. Its fucking gross and disgusting. Kindness, equality, love, and empathy must prevail. The behaviors modeled by those currently in power are dangerous, greed filled, gluttonous, cruel, and unacceptable. Our responsibility is to raise a generation that rejects this type of hate er’day, until Kingdom comes and embraces humanity. And as much as they try to dismantle education- we need to fix it.

Another worrisome thought I have that also comes up in sessions, “What is this incompetent, petulant narcissist criminal man child going to do next to hurt or steal from Americans?”  I mean, I’m paraphrasing but you get his evil point.

In my last post, I wrote about what we, as American citizens, need/must do once we rid our system of all the corruption this vulgar charlatan has exposed. He’s shown us(a) just how flawed and fragile our democracy is—and how deeply evil, greed, racism, and oppression run in our country. It’s heartbreaking to see fellow citizens sell their souls to the devil and pedo- while destroying families, lives, and selling human beings into slavery masked as prision.

Looksie, we are down but we are not out!   You gotta get the fuck back up and in the fight.  It may be scary but the alternative is even more horrifying.  The way I try to quiet my own fear is… I think about how much more I trust and believe that God is good, God is Love and that He answers prayers. I believe way more in His love than I do their hate.  As  big ol’ chunky Christian homo from Utah- I see a lot of similarities with that last chapter of the Bible and what’s happening today.   Is it the end of times as we know it? Or is it just the end of times for the rich, greedy, evil, corrupt criminals as they know it. Are we stopping them from living off of us(a) moving forward?

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;

thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

God Bless the United States of America and Thy Thick Rod and Staff,

The Could be Happier Homo

(A gay men to dat!)

PS If you haven’t started Heated Rivalry on HBO Max- YOU SHOULD! SOOO hooot! Totally rubbed one out to that show! https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/tv/2025/12/04/heated-rivalry-hbo-max-explained-gay-hockey-canadian-romance-books/87608007007/

PSS Since I brought up sports above, do you really think the LA 2028 Sumer Olympics are going to be safe with that orange demented turd in office? God willing- them cankles will do the trick and bless the us(a) all.