Well, I waited and waited and waited for tonight and it was beyond worth waiting for. I just arrived home from the best New Years Eve I’ve ever had. I can’t get over how magical the whole night was. Surprise after surprise of happiness and my happy homo heart is sooo F-U-L-L!
When I arrived earlier today on the Las Vegas Strip, I was greeted with a giant billboard of JLo. I thought to myself, “This feels so right!” Jennifer Lopez- everywhere I looked. I pulled into Cesar’s Palace and more JLo posters, I was gleefully gay and ready to break in the New Year with Jennifer LOPEZ! After driving around the parking garage forever trying to find a spot, I gave in and footed with my belongings from the valet. Vegas was paaaacked!
I’m so glad I made it to this concert. There was a lot of worry that this was going to be another concert that I paid for, that I couldn’t attend. I prayed the night before, “God, please let today be the last day of my cold so I can enjoy the concert tomorrow.” I’d been down with a cold for over two weeks at that time. I woke up the day of the concert and could breathe out of my nose. I looked up at the sky and said, “YAAAS! Thank you Lord!”
I was so excited and could never have predicted how amazing the night would turn out. No, I didn’t catch a hair extension that fell from her head as she danced and all over that stage, “5, 6, 7- ATE!” (I saw that title on an online article about her concert and it twas sooo fitting.) I’ve joked or prayed about that for so long now… “Lord, at least let me catch a lost JLo hair extension? Please?” Is tonight the night my prayers would be answered? Well, yes prayers were answered but there’d be no hair extension!!!! It was even BETTER than that!
I opted and paid for the best seats in the venue and OMFG it was sooo worth it! I know I don’t have money like so many other homos here, but any future financial struggles are worth what this night gave.
My seat was right in the center of the fucking front row- at a JLO concert!!!!! YAAAAS! And behind us, sitting in the row behind THIS poor Mexican American me was Tiffany Haddish! YES MA’AM- the hilarious and talented Tiffany Haddish; looking all sexy in a backless black sexy dress. Her hair all did and lookin sexy af!
Most of the time I don’t want to bother Hollywood Stars. I can just imagine that they probably want to be left alone to enjoy their evening when they are out and about, like everybody else. So, I don’t usually hit them up for a picture, but I can get down with fangirling all over Tiffany Haddish and I did a little bit. I asked if I could take a pic of her after telling her I literally just finished power watching her show, “Tiffany Haddish Goes Off.” A real-life “Girl’s Trip” show where she and 3 of her lifelong gal pals travel to Africa, have fun, while exploring their roots and find some healing along the way. (You should watch it. Loved it.)
I love an Overcomer story and that’s what Tiffany Haddish is an- adversity overcomer and thriver. I can get down with her especially after seeing that show. If anyone knows the feelings of being alienated by family she does (and I can relate). Yet, she persists and is still thriving, healing, and making that MONEY- MONEY! I’m a Tiffany Haddish fan. (But I didn’t freak out like I did with JLo. I kindly asked, “Is it okay if I take a picture of you? And then I’ll leave you alone I promise.” And I did.
Then sitting next to Ms. Haddish was another funny comedian I enjoy, Jo Koy. It got even better, behind their row was JLo’s Mommy, and her sister both also looking stunning. Like how fucking cool is that?
My friend Daddy G accompanied me to the concert (“Daddy G” = Daddy Giant- because he’s a human giant monster with a heart of sunshine.). Daddy G said, “Those weren’t good seats. Those were the best seats in the whole building.”
And they t’were! They t’were! I’m still giddy about the seats and how magical the whole night was. I had the fun-est night of my life (so far). I got to scream my head off and my heart out for the entirety of the whole JLo in Vegas Show. Before the concert started, my happy homo eyes spotted her sparkling cup from my seat. Yes, that’s how close I was to the stage! I could have probably reached out to touch it if I weren’t so afraid of getting kicked out, and let’s face it probably should be if I’m touching her spark’ulled water container. LOL
Soooo, tickets were expensive, but I feel like it’s been a rough five years or so, I work hard, I’m a JLo superfan, and I fucking deserve those seats. I deserve good or the best seats sometimes in my life too, not just the nosebleeds. I’m a good human being and I try to lead with kindness and love (most of the time), doesn’t that count for anything?
Could I have spent that money on something else tangible that would last longer? Well sure but I don’t think anything could compare to the feeling of happiness I have right now. I always tell clients to chase their happy and I finally took my own advice. And who knows this happy could last a good long while (pending that petti af orange pedo piggy’s actions) (Come on cankles do the thing already!)
And besides my soul needed that kiss this night provided. My innards, heart and soul feel like they’ve been through it and I’m doing some healing of my own. I needed that hug or kiss to the soul. And besides it’s my favorite Hollywood Star. Whom, even if only in my imagination, through her art form, has been hugging and kissing my soul since 1997. Even if it wasn’t real life or “tangible”, her art has helped me get through some rough times, so I’ll pay those prices (if I can). Sometimes life is hard, at least for me (and I know many of you too). Sometimes I need an escape from the day in-day out -harshness of this world, if even for the length of a 90 minute JLO feature film; which I am all to excited to consume. Looksie, If I had lots of money, I’d probably get those exact same seats every single time I’d go see her in this life. (Which would be often if I could afford it. LOL)
I even made it into her JLo live stream on her Insta. Yes, she was live streaming the concert and that’s me and that’s Daddy G dancing and screaming our asses right off. (I’m such a social media “Not Be” – as in I’d rather not be on social media, but this was exciting all the same.). My friend sent the post over to me as she noticed my little chunky Latino silhouette dancing next to the giant, Daddy G! Like eeeeeeeee!
That’s not even all of it!!!! Besides the awesome fucking show itself and all the singing, dancing, outfit changes, twirls, and booty shakes was some hot fucking dancers. (Yes, bitch singing- she sounded amazing!) My “tied for favorite part of the whole performance” was when she tore of her jacket in the middle of a number and bowling balled it right into my face and phone!!!!
I screamed with so much queer happiness, “YAAAAASSSSS!!!!” and “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!” Daddy G. also grabbed the jacket, but I’d pulled it away from him by this point in the screaming, hugged it, and continued to scream like Howard Dean. I don’t know if you are old enough to remember when that politician, Howard Dean screamed his head off, although real, endearing, and passionate- it ended his bid for Presidency. (I think he would have been a good President. Anyone would be better than a Putin bootlicker.) Well I found myself overwhelmed with happy and gave a Howard Dean scream like no other!!! LOL
I couldn’t believe what was happening…was this really happening to little ol’ me? At this point I couldn’t stop screaming my head right off and my heart was now pounding outside of my chest. I was overcome with so much gay joy. All the while realizing how yummy her jacket smelled. Literally, she smells delicious! I threw the feathery shall/jacket over my shoulder with such joy. For a second I thought we were going to be able to keep it (I would have taken pictures with it if I had known our time together was going to be so short). But a couple songs later a security guard came up and asked for it back and I nodded side to side NOOOO. But he tilted his head like, seriously? I realized there was no hope and took one more squeeze and sent the jacket back to its momma.
But after that- the gay gods continued to shine down upon my “JLo Beauty” moisturized face and Daddy G. Just as soon as I’d parted with the jacket, a glass bead strip pops off JLo’s Bob Mackey short gorgeous dress (I mean it looked Bob Mackey) and flew right into Daddy G.’s giant man hands. We screamed again, and again, and again like little gay glee filled bitches. We were having the time of our lives.
The other “most favorite part” of the whole fucking night was when the concert ended (also sad because the concert was over and I could bask in JLo for hours yet. I just can’t get enough….). This was after the countdown to midnight, where Ms. Jenny From the Block brought out her twins on to the stage for a beautiful family moment. This was after the giant balloons dropped and confetti came down from the sky and after she did her last number.
THE Jennifer Lopez was walking the stage after closing her concert. My friend Daddy G. walked right up to the stage, and I was a step behind him. She was walking up to us. Daddy G. asked if he could have the ostrich plume that fell from one of the beautiful fans the dancers held that lay on the floor. And she handed it to him. The two of us screamed and she reached out and held both of our hands at the same time. He had one hand and I had her other hand. We fucking screamed like the gays we are and could not believe this was happening.
What a fucking magical night. I touched JLo’s hand and held on to a jacket (that was hard to part with). Lol – best night ever! If you get the chance- you should go to the New JLo Show in Vegas. It was ER’Thang! Loved it. Left there walking on sunshine and I hope to catch another one in March.
The Pretty Fn Happy Homo
PS When we exited the concert hall, I could see all the other crazed JLovers smiling ear to ear. Many of them had taken one or two of those huge balloons that dropped from the rafters with them as a JLo memento. I thought to myself, “You fuckin idiot- you should have grabbed a balloon too.” “DOH!”
PSS I almost forgot there was a white girl sitting right behind me that tapped on my shoulder during the concert as I danced my little brown booty off. I turned to look at her. She said, “Can you sit down.” I said, “I sure can’t. I paid over $3,000 for this ticket I’m going to stand and dance.” I mean, the nerve. No thanks and if Jennifer Lopez is in the room- I think everybody should stand! 😉
PSSS Ooooh I almost forgot JLo had a heckler. And this heckler appeared to be one of our peeps…for shame. A Latina Lesbian was heckling Ms. Jennifer. When Jennifer would stop to take a moment after or in between songs to connect with the audience, this little lesbian would scream, “No, perform! Perform! Perform!” JLo clapped back, “I AM going to perform!”
And SHE DID- SHE DID PERFORM!!!! I looked back at the lesbian, cause I was in the fucking front row -eeeeee!-, and myself and the gays behind gave her the gay man’s glare. I even flipped her off while mouthing, “Rude.”
PSSSS I wasn’t able to get my, “Kiss of the Spider Woman,” record signed. The venue said we couldn’t hand anything to her on stage. Sad face, but also way happy face cause I had the best time of my life (so far).
PSx5 So much fucking fun!
PSx 6 I wondered if Tiffany Haddish and Jo Koy were dating but the internet said no. Made me think though… they’d be cute together. They both cute. “Tiffany Haddish and Jo Koy are not dating; they have a longstanding friendship spanning over 20 years. Haddish has referred to Koy as her “brother” and they frequently collaborate on projects and charity events.”
PSx7 The show was amazing. I’m still on a JLo dopamine high. EEEEEE! I touched JLo’s hand! It was like a hug through our hands… I take it!
PSx8 OMG and the new Ruples starts this week. 2026 is already looking up.
PSx9 Best night EVER!!!! This is what a Happy Homo looks like! (I have a whole bunch of video. But I think you should go see the show for yourself!) I hope that you responsibly splurge on yourself this year. Life is short- do something that makes you happy. JLo makes this homo happy! Chase your happy!
