I’ve spent some time writing, thinking, and writing. Having the shit scared out of me with the cancer diagnosis is definitely a perspective changer. I still don’t know the specific details about my cancer but hope to get some answers next Tuesday. Labs, labs, and more labs. In all the thinking I’ve been doing I pondered my own death, because we are all temporary. I’m temporary. You are temporary. My dogs are temporary. One day I will die. I hope not anytime soon cause I still have a lot of living to do and I didn’t know that a person could feel this free, like I do in Palm Springs.
I began to think what is the message I want to leave the world if I die today? In one word- Love.
Seeing politicians take up arms to remove books that paint LGBTQ people in a positive light and attacking curriculums that teach actual American History or the Holocaust has been disheartening. I’m talking true American History- slavery warts and all. The message that sends out to people of color, Jewish people, and LGBTQ+ people (children included in both groups) is they don’t belong. It says their story, their struggles don’t matter. It really says your life and how we treat you doesn’t matter. This creates a false narrative for others to believe we don’t matter and that’s when people become emboldened to hurt our community members or worse for our community members to hurt themselves. And to that I say fuck those politicians.
I wrote a cute little Queer kids book in my time off of work and am talking to a couple of people about illustrating it. The message is about giving and receiving love from an early age. I don’t know if it really is good or if I just think its cute cause I wrote it. Or if it’s just something that I wish the childhood me had growing up. In the chance that it is halfway good, I want it to go to Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library and everywhere else queer kids can feel safe obtaining stories that reflect their image back at them.
I also realize my one word is Love, but I still have a lot to say about it. Fuck those politicians and fuck cancer for scaring me.
(The picture is of the dedication/acknowledgement page of my kids book. Please don’t steal my title!)
