There’s an old saying from Anna Faris, “The eyes are the nipples of the face.” She said that in the hilarious movie she produced and starred in, “The House Bunny.” Her with those big ol’ eyes, rockin body, and beautiful everything else, is one sexy bitch. She was right, they are the nipples of the face and if that is to be true, then the smile definitely has to be the penis or the cock of the face.
Think about it… I know most of you horny bitches already are and got dick on the brain. I know you don’t need reminding, but instead of just crotch surfing, how about we add in some other pleasantries, like smiling; you seem to need a reminder to do that. Smiles, well they are just like dicks; they are all different. Some are bigger than others. Some are really, really big. Some are really, really small. Some are a little crooked, a lot crooked, others are pretty, many are beautiful and then you have some not so beautiful ones too. Some are full voluptuous and meaty and others (that are just as important) are not so full, and they come in a variety of colors, tints, and hues. (Like Easter Eggs- Happy Easter. Eat them eggs you horny bitches).
We, well I guess me, I want to see it. I want to see that smile, or whatever else you may want to show me so long as it’s done in love and kindness- I’ll peek. We, or me prefer to see those smiles expanded, stretched out to their fullest, most erect, hard, and pointing upward, not frowning, grin of all grins, glossy lips of a happy smile. I want your mouth to show everyone its biggest boner ever! Smile hard with your face penis. Smile at each other. And remember just cause you are showing someone your face boner doesn’t mean that you want to bone that person. However, it can also be that if you want it to. We should be nice to each other, and a smile is the least we can do for each other. Bitch its free and so is a kind hello. And smiles like cocks feel good when they are pressed up against you.
Can you stand erect in a smile? Some folks need a plumper, filler, or other injections and hopefully this advice about smiling is like a Viagra to your face. And you become conscious about how you present in the world, because we need to share our smiles with others.
Smiling is like your face having a huge boner, everyone gravitates towards it and some want to sit on your face. Sometimes, most times face boners are contagious. And then there are some of you that can’t get that smile on your face for anything; you’ve got flaccid face. I’m not lying, the next time you are at Ralphs or Vons look around at all those flaccid faces. I challenge you to show them your face boner, flash them the smile no matter how treacherous it looks or how treacherous you think they look. You’ll be surprised at what a small act like a smile and a boner can do. Smile harder bitches. You need to Viagra that face! You have the power to be a Day Maker- just by smiling at someone. Make their mother fuckin day, all day.
Are we seeing the aftermath, the consequences of the Covid-19 pandemic? Have we forgotten how to use our faces? I’ve seen so many people struggling to get back out there and make connections in our Gaytopia, post Covid; and I’m guilty of it too bitches. Some places are just now removing mask rules, and for the first time in years we are seeing each other’s faces, including coworkers. We all went through this traumatic experience with each other and alone, and some folks have forgotten how to pop a face boner.
No more surgical masks, and now we get to work on removing the masks that remain that have kept us safe for so long. The ones of our own creation. Do we need them here in Palm Springs? Or is this really the Gaytopia we all dreamed and heard of? Is it safe to show our true selves here? If not here then where? Is it really a safe place like we hoped and prayed it would be? What happens if it’s not? Is there an alternative? What’s gayer than Palm Springs? Or is the ugly truth about our country true for us as well? Are we not welcoming to our own people if they don’t check all the boxes? Is there a place where all homos are allowed to be happy homos? What if I don’t fit in that box?
The country is going through some real tough shit right now. The right – white wing of government is flexing its big old hard hairy dick at us and telling us we don’t belong in this country and that theirs is bigger than yours. It’s time to flex your own big hairy dicks and vadges right back at them with a vote for your local democrats. Because the truth is, I’ve seen some of your big ol’ hairy dicks and I like ‘em and you and we vote, we win.
Take a close look at what’s happening in Tennessee- so many crazy white elitest things are flexing. The Tennessee 3, recently expelled Democrats were silenced because they were doing their jobs and serving the people. These are future leaders of America. It feels like in their white elitest flex, they birthed the new leaders of tomorrow. In tough times, contractions give birth to new leadership.
Immediate Release Press Release: “Expulsions On Thursday, April 6, 2023, the Tennessee House of Representatives debated whether to expel three members. Members Justin Jones, Gloria Johnson and Justin Pearson disrupted the House chamber on Thursday, March 30, 2023.”
It’s cruel to tell people they can’t have the similar rights to you in speaking, in housing, loans, job security, to work in harassment free environments, security, safe schools, safe spaces, overall fucking safety for our queer brothers and sisters and people of color. I think if the majority of the queer community could or would’ve even just been given a piece or sense of safety from an early age, from our parents and families or at school, we could rule the fucking world. We have some great people in our community, it’s so full of great people. You are a great person and deserve safety and equality, don’t forget that. You are deserving!
If we had those things, we could walk around in this world feeling safe enough to smile in it. We deserve to smile all up in its guts. Many of us are broken, we’ve never been given the chance to feel safe enough to dream big, much less be happy. I hope you realize that brokenness and heart ache are the batteries, the energy, the power of your glow. It gets your glow out, it makes it strong. Glow harder, bitches. Viagra yo’ face!
We know the truth, it’s hard to be queer in this country. It always has been – in most places. We see it every day, in so many different ways. So many of us were expelled from schools, churches, homes, and from our families. Like, how do you dream big if you don’t know where your next meal is coming from?
If only everybody could love their little gay, queer, trans children, just as much if not more than their straight ones. I say more just because I know, like you do, their road is going to be a little bumpier and harder at times. And other times their path isn’t going to be clear at all. It would give these future queer kids of America the foundations to not only smile in this world but to be a Luxx in this world. Luxxfidence- literally gets beat out of some people. Loving kids early on and always would have real and direct impact on how many future queer lives would be lost to the streets, to suicide, to drugs, to isolation, to meth, or to murder. It would have such an abundance of positive benefits and outcomes if only we could get you to love all the kids like they all matter- all of the time.
With the need for love and safety met, we might just be able to figure out all the other problems were plagued with. I think it’s a possibility, in fact there seems to be many possibilities here in beautiful Palm Springs. I think the desert has met some of my own needs for a sense of safety and security or I probably wouldn’t be writing this. I hope it continues to do so, bitches do tend to challenge it though.
If you haven’t figured it out, or were still wondering exactly how gay I am, I’ve been elbow deep in Ruple’s music the last two weeks. How fun, it’s like another layer of fun I heard about but never bothered listening to. Bitch, I’m bothered now and couldn’t be happier about it. I was wrong in not paying attention to it. There’s good shit in there. She seems to be ahead of the game, which duh, she is the game maker, of course she’s leading the way in everything. The music is fun and gives me the feels and tends to give me a face boner and an ass wiggle.
In listing to da Mama’s music, I find she gives good life advice and good therapeutic advice. In one song Ruples says, “Fix your face, fix your life, you can start with a smile.” This really is sound advice and I’ve recently given it to clients and friends alike served up in a different package. It does start with a smile and it has the power to start the fixing of your life and the power to start the fixing or healing of someone else’s life. Goodness, it really does start with a smile.
Have these surgical face masks made us forget what to do with our faces? The masks are gone now, we can see your face now boo. Whatcha gonna do with it? I encourage you to smile hard. Then smile harder. The only masks we are left wearing are the ones that have kept you, me, us- safe for so long out there in the world. How do we make others feel safe enough to smile? Or safe enough to take off their masks? If you don’t smile, you are not inviting and I thought this place was supposed to be inviting. Smiling is the new antidepressant, the new Viagra for them lips hoes.
I also understand the power of not smiling. Sometimes we need to send the message that we are – NOT INVITING. It’s a defense mechanism that has kept people who wanted to hurt you at bay. That’s okay too, safety first bitches. (*Side note- I send love to our trans community- I see a lot of pain here and it’s the most attacked space of existence. I’m a safe person for you, boo. I see you.) So is Palm Springs a safe place to smile? If it’s safe enough space to be cruised at stop light, shouldn’t it be safe to smile and be happy? It is still the happiest place I’ve ever been, the most free place too.
Where am I’m going with this, you ask? Safety is huge for us as queer people and it permits us to chase happiness and dreams; and to eventually, hopefully, we get to self-actualize. That leads me to my next question, what’s going on out here in the desert? In working with clients and other community members in various ways, I see people who seem to have forgotten how to smile. In session, I literally asked someone to show me their smile. And once that smiler started smiling it didn’t want to stop. Face boners everywhere. I almost wanted to say, “No, NO…that’s enough smiling. You are getting carried away.” Totes kidding but that’d be funny. It’d make me laugh and then I’d be smiling. See contagious.
Question, are you guys smiling at each other out there? If not, why aren’t we smiling at each other out there? Where in the best and least oppressive place I’ve ever been. I hope it always stays that way for me but I’m going hope that we see everybody and not just the ones who check the boxes. Someone said to me recently they haven’t had someone smile at them in over two years. Two fucking years!
I just get a little worried that if we are literally not seeing wounded people out there that could benefit from a small act of kindness like a smile, then what are you looking at? Put your fucking phones down. Do we not take care of our own anymore? Do we not see each other and the scars in various stages of healing that brought us to Palm Springs? I’ve heard it had been a long time since someone smiled at that person, and it broke my heart. I ask if you are smiling because you too may need to take off the masks and your actions feed into a larger happier vibe in our community. No, you can’t keep your mask on Valentina. Are the masks people wear here still needed because the queer culture right here as mean as the rest of the country? God, I hope not.
How do we let years go by where a person in our community literally has not been smiled at? That’s a long ass time. That’s a weird and sad fact I’m trying to wrap my head around. It sort of has me a little nervous, scared and worried, is this really a safe place? Better yet, is this a happy place? Can I let my hair Ru-punzel- Sasha Colby pussy hair down and really be myself? Can I put my pussy print on it? Or are they coming to spank out what is left of my own strength and courage from me and right into oblivion? Like many of you, I protect myself but wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to? I’d rather all of us be walking around with boners, face boners when we see each other.
The thing we all know is that Covid fucked with all of us. It killed some of us. It was the one thing in the country that wasn’t discriminatory in nature. It is taking some of us a little longer to bounce back from the anxiety of covid. Let’s be conscious of each other, and where we are at in that phase, and practice kindness.
I honestly didn’t know if I was going to write about smiling, or not smiling/body language trend I’ve been seeing in both my professional and personal life but then the Universe sends signs. Right down to Ruples singing about it, and that was all the sign from the universe I needed.
A Ruples’ ditty
Smile, smile, smile
Fix your face, fix your life
You could start with a smile
Smile, smile, smile
Face legendary iconic
Throw a smile on it
Some people I’ve spoken to have not had someone smile at them in 2-3 years. Yes, you read that right! 2 to 3 mother fucking years without a smile. Don’t let that happen again. This is supposed to be the happiest place I’ve ever been. I hope I’m not wrong about it. I hope you weren’t wrong about it either. Do I have rose cock-colored glasses on? I hope what I feel about this place is real and it never changes. Am I dickmatized by Palm Springs, or is this real? Is it safe to smile hard?
Oh, let me just take one last little minute to reinforce the theme, social connections are big for humanity. We need each other. So, if you are going to get infected with something while you are connecting with each other, may it be a face boner, may it be big ol’ smile or a small one. Smiles are infectious.
Smile Harder,
The Happy Homo
PS I use to play ball like a girl. (YAAAASSSS LOOOOVE it!)
PSS Who got the keys to Queendom? Ummm, *raises both hands* and answers in the form of a question , like Anetra and the Janet nasty question, “Me? Am U nasty? Do I have the keys to the Queendom?”
PSSS Sasha Colby threw her pussy down hard this season and left her pussy print all over Drag Race. As did the top 4- well done bitches, well done. Ladookie, meh.
PSSSS- My bestie told me she has been trying out the smiling at people (she usually reads these before everyone else). She said she caught herself, “Looking down at the ground, just a little eye contact but then I smiled.” She is reporting good face boner outcomes and I hope you do too.
PSSSSS- “Smiling has the power to change your mood and the moods of others. Humans are hardwired to mimic the expressions of others. So, it is scientifically proven that smiles are contagious!” (https://champagnedental.com/blog/smiles-are-contagious-heres-why)
PSx6 Universe your message was received about the power of a smile and thank you, you’re right. Smiling harder.
PSx7 Ugh, I realized the tickets we purchased were for the drag show and not the finale. ☹ I’m still happy we got tickets but one day I’d love to see a finale in person. Putting that out in the universe. 😊
PSx8 I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
PSx9 I hate sports, like ew. But another person to watch is Angel Reese. I hope the reason she changed her mind and is going to visit the White House is because the message she wants to send is that house belongs also to Black women, despite their gross sports habits. That House belongs to all of us people, all shapes, all colors, all types. It’s sort of like Palm Springs is the queer capitol, and we all belong here too. Gross, I talked about sports. Black girls belong in that White House.
PSx10 Rep Justin Jones and Rep Justin Pearson we see you. Rep Gloria Johnson, we see you too and allies are as important to the fight for equality as us using our own voices. Thank you 3.
PSx11 Crooked Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas needs to step down immediately. How much more corruption do you have to see in order to impeach that sob?
