There I was balls deep in his husband and his husband was balls deep into me. Wait, wait…wait!
No, that’s not what I told them, that’s what I’m telling you! I said to them both, “More, more and harder.” Totally different sentences, wants, and needs. I wanted to tell you to wait so I can share with you how I met them.
I met them at a pool party, in fact my first one after I arrived in PS. Is that how it works? You meet a couple at a pool party and then they invite you over for another pool party? Then you go to said pool party and are surprised? Escoose me…but where are all the people? Is it just the three of us? OOOOh, just you, him and me? Am I the party? Uh, why do I always have to be the fucking party? Can’t someone else carry your load… I mean the load? Kidding…kidding, I’ll carry that fucker. Mmmmm….yum.
So, in my mind before dicks penetrated anything, I said to myself, “FINE, I guess I’ll do it. I WILL FUCK ’EM!” After all it’s been a month since I arrived in Palm Mother Fucking Springs, they are both cute and I’m horny. I’m a newbie wanting to meet people and maybe me buried in their asses is how I make friends here? I like friends and I like fuck friends even more. I also like things buried.
I arrived at their home. I’m terrified, filled with fear and a raging hard on. I need a drink. OMG, what if can they see my dick is hard before anything even happens? Fuck, these shorts are so short, you fucking slut! Jump in the pool asap!
I parked my car. What am I supposed to do now? How do I proceed? Do I make the first move when I’m in there? I think I already am approaching the front door with a boner, aren’t I?
*BREATHE* Ugh, why am I even here? I’m a stranger in a strange place with a lot of insecurities I didn’t mean to bring with me. Am I just supposed to shed all that Utah Catholic shame and let people in all the sudden? Am I supposed to peacock around like Joshua says? Calm down bitch, you’re going to ruin everything. You got this you trashy little minx. Hmm….. can I use the word minx to describe me, a happy and horny homo? Meh, its my blog I can use whatever fucking word I want I suppose.
The door opens. The two of them are so nice and welcoming. I got a tour of the home before we settled to the backyard. OMG they totally have a cute pool!
I took off my tiny tank top “shirt” that was hardly even covering my nipples. Then my shorts, which were extra full as I took a half of a generic Viagra I took before I came. No, I don’t need Viagra, it just had been a little while since I’ve had sex. I thought, I’m going to cum so fast I want to make sure I have a second and maybe third shot to follow. I love a second round, if were having fun within the first round and I hardly ever need generic Viagra to continue- yet. (There is nothing wrong with actually needing it. It happens to all of us with wieners- eventually. Sometimes it’s just fun to take.)
This is just my first threesome in a very long time and I’m so nervous. And besides generic or not, it sure makes everything look bigger and better, “WARNING, Cock in the mirror is closer than it appears.”
So, suddenly there we were sucking dick in a cute pool. I was so worried before I arrived and most of it melted away. Nah, bitch I wasn’t worried because I thought I was messy. I totes douched before I arrived. But really though, that worry is always present too, always. Tis the life of a happy homo.
Oh goodness, they want to move it to the bedroom, “Okay.” Four hands and two naked man bodies were on me, feeling every part of me. Their lips, their tongues and the insides of their mouths were mine, all mine. And I was all theirs for a time too. Our spit had no beginning or end. Thrusting. Moaning. Loving. It’s beautiful.
“Oh God…. OHHHH GOOOOOD!”, really Thank you Lord. One naked man was in front of me sitting on my dick. The husband, was behind me feeling his way inside, THANK YOU GOD!
Whew. There…. I came and I just made him cum too. Round two. The one that was fucking me pulled out and sat on my dick while his partner played with my ass. And then he came too. They were so passionate, caring, and considerate despite how hookerish this blog post sounds. They were sweet and the way into my jock strap is definitely through kindness and not being a dick. (You know what I mean)
They were pretty hot and they were both into me. And better yet we were all into each other. I really needed that. I needed that with two people who were both willing to be gentle with someone (me) who is just really getting back in the swing of things. And they were nice to each other too. They looked happy for each other when I was going down on the other one.
That kindness and communication was what made it even hotter and made me more comfortable letting my desires out. Kindness makes my bussy (boy pussy) pop.
To be honest, it’s been a slow sex wise since 2019. That’s the year my son ran away from home, was on the run and then ended up getting locked up. It broke me into so many little pieces. I have been nursing a broken heart since. I think I’m a little afraid to share it now, but I’m going to.
I still am gluing it all back together. Although I know it’s not my fault, I feel like such a failure when it comes to my son. I’m human and those feelings come, but I also don’t let them consume me anymore. I let them feelings come and go. The fault does not belong to me. I let it go but the damage has been done. But I have my hot glue gun. I’m capable of figuring out how everything fits back together. He called the other day to let me know he was given three more years. Such a shame.
3 years… oh, I was telling a story. I digress… Back to the threesome- yessome. (The first of many I hope.)
There we lay exhausted, cum all over us and music in the background. Someone got up to get a towel. Whew, we all came. I did it! I knew I could do it! Just like riding a dick, I mean a bike. “Before I forget, thank you guys for being so nice.” Their hands rested on my naked body. I closed my eyes. I’m so tired. “Guys, I’m just going to close my eyes for two seconds.”
NOOOOO! Shit, I fell asleep. I sat straight up in bed and rubbed my eyes. “I only meant to close my eyes for a second. Wait…” I’m at home in my own bed by myself, with my own dogs. I looked around my bedroom. I’m in my slutty pjs. Did that really happen? Was that just a dream? A premonition? A pool party wet dream?
Wishing You All A Happy Summer,
The Happy and Horny Homo
PS Did ya’ll watch the latest episode of the Kardashians? Shit, I want to be so rich that I can call dibs on Dolce and Gabbana. Wouldn’t that be great? I ain’t hating on them lucky beeoches! I’m congratulating them on that level. BRAVO! Also that collection from what they showed- was hawwwt! That Kim K is EBBERYTING! And I mean everything! That little black dress – perfuckingfection. *APPLAUSE* Then more *APPLAUSE* I’m adickted and you know I’ll be tuning in this week. Gurrrrls get dem dollars!!!! Looking that perfect looks like hard work. Makes me want a cheeseburger real bad.
PSS Being vulnerable is hard. And who doesn’t have baggage at this point in their lives? My baggage is in the form of an adopted human being.
PSSS We finally broke the 100s. The heat is here! Its summer hookers let’s get our hearts and holes broken brazenly together. I’m scared. LOL
PSSSS I told you bitches to be nice to her! CNN is reporting that Madonna had a bacterial infection and is in the ICU. They say she was intubated. OMG! That’s some serious shit! I ask that you join me and pray (to whomever) for her complete healing and recovery. Madonna we love you!
PSx5 I also pray that we get the 22nd state in the US to ban conversion therapy. Eyes on Michigan.
PSx6 Are you all watching the Sex in the City spin off, “And Just Like That..?” I’m lovin it. I watched a news story about Kristin Davis not doing any Botox anymore. Gurrrrl, if Botox makes you happy then put a needle in it! I think she’s beautiful at 58 years young. If it aint broke then it can afford Botox. Ms. Davis, whomever told you that it doesn’t look good is a damn lie! They are a liar and a manipulator! You look stunning to me. You probably can’t tell but I’m smiling, I also love Botox.
PSx7 I love you even if you don’t love yourself. Except for that one bitch. You know who you are. I aint gots nuttin fo’ya.
PSx8 Did you hear that? You are loved. Fine even that one bitch, but from a very, very far distance. No talking, touching or looking at me. I see you.
PSx9 Aaaaand are you watching the new Kim Cattrall series, “Glamourous” on Netflix? I am and I love it. It’s so gay, I’m pregnant. My baby daddy, plays Kim Cattrall’s son, Zane Phillips. So yummy. The pic is when he brought me flowers on our first date. (Fine, there was no date. I don’t own the rights to the picture and it was snagged off the internet. But that mother fucker is FIIIIIIIIIINE! I’d do a twosome, threesome, foursome… well the answer is simply yessome.
