Ends…
To what end? Ends, when’s it end?
I continue to twist, turn, and bend.
Distorting who I am, but my feet are planted,
Rooted, firmly in truth- in the hot desert sands.
You can not knock me down. For I bend.
You can not knock me down. For I bend.
To and fro, I’m pushed to the end,
The bait is set, I defend, deflect, delight in my enemies demise and disappointment that I didn’t take their bate.
Holes to be filled, holes in their story, holes can’t carry the truth and it falls… right through.
Falls, to the destruction of your lies, tries, and false alibis.
Your false cries fall, fall through,
Fall through the cracks, cracked, cracka,
when inflicting wounds on others.
Who are they to blame their problems on little ol’ me? They packed, prodded, paraded lies of tissue paper and abuse before they got here. They “drugged” with them along the way- lies. No, that’s not mine. Your lie, my truth, my light, little ol’ me will let my light shine.
And you cannot stop it.
Try as you might.
My light will shine.
How did our lives become enmeshed? How do I separate what was, what is, from what is mine? And what your thieving hands try to take.
Tangled webs they weave but I brought scissors.
Neither of us control each other’s fate. Yet you cling to my coat tails, which I bought, which I earned, which belong to me. BITCH.
But the bait and the trap are set, but not sprung. They lunge with anger, with hatred that drives and overwhelms and overflows; spilling from their hands, their lips, their lies.
But through the cracks, cracked cracka…
through the holes that were never filled, that won’t ever be filled by me.
Try as you may, “YOU WON’T BREAK MY SOUL”
“If only I can get them to say something… to do something… l can use against them.” Your thoughts- not mine.
NO, I see you for who and what you are.
I see you and your intentions.
Their touch molds the green of leaves and consumes your joy if you let them, because they forgot theirs, their scruples, the truth, the burden of proof that lay at the feet of Lady Justice.
Forgotten that I hold the key to my happiness, the key to the conversations, the key to turn in truth. Facts.
Lines, tossed and crossed lines.
Crimes, this should be a crime. We are two different people and we always will be. I cast you out. I cast you away. I cast the lie… the line and reel in the truth.
Reel in facts. Real facts.
How do you speak truth to their lies? Are they finally going to believe you, finally? Or is my fate sealed? AS sealed as my melatonin in my skin, seared, in the epidermis that is me, brown little ol’ me.
This brown skin calls out, “I stand in truth” in this new land, in this awful experience and I stand in fear. But God DAMMIT I stand in TRUTH.
I stand for truth. I stand and bask in truth ray’s of light. I bathe myself in the honesty of facts. Even if I stand alone on the pillar of truth.
In truth I will stand.
Powders cover the counter tops and bottoms- everything they touch is dirty. Are they even there? Is anyone home? Do they know what they do? Do they know they bruise and dim the light from within?
Not my little light. I’m gonna let it shine.
A possum plays dead, and you lie.
You lie.
You lie.
You lie.
They lash out at everyone and everything. They are alone.
I hate them and feel sorry for they reap what they’ve sowed.
They reaped what they showed.
I hate that I feel sorry for them.
Holding my chest, I realize- I’m collateral damage.
I look vulnerable and new, naïve, and dumb.
And they are left empty and dumbfounded that my contents don’t match my cover.
Dumbfounded, drugged like used and discarded luggage that no one wants, dumbfounded that small things can bend and not break.
A reed will bend in the wind of lies.
When does it end? I’m bending, bent, and strong. I withstand the weather. I withstand the wind. Like the river’s reeds, I bend.
I continue to twist, turn, and bend.
I’m strong and can withstand the wind and the rain.
I stand in truth God Damn it! I bent- I did not break.
I am rooted in truth, now a reed in the desert sands.
I stand.
