Do I make you sick?
Am I a waste of space?
When ever you see me you have that sour look upon your face.
I contemplate your words and actions…
Compassion lacking.
How is it that you hate your own skin,
I think the problem is you not me
It’s something within.
It’s a shame we are not able to pick
Who we are and just who to be.
But just wait to see some day you’ll realize
I am you and you are me.
At times I steeped into your zone.
To quickly to realize I am not your clone.
Others don’t see you with my eyes…
Betrayal is you to me, leaving tears uncried.
Too many times your true colors shone.
Was I unintended…a puddle of fun?
No quick withdrawals when you were done.
All these self-inflicting pains I didn’t inflict.
Time does heal but I can’t ever forget.
I don’t understand how anyone could
Destroy something they helped create…to try to burn your own flesh.
Squinting your eyes at me like I am a waste of space.
You made me share that thought, but your lies were quickly replaced.
A life of misery you’ve chosen for me
How could you deny someone from being happy?
I did your bidding—at your beck and call.
I slaved away for sharp words and physical dismay.
I am you and yes you are me.
Did I come along and fuck up your master plan?
I don’t see how people can be cruel to their fellow man.
Well I give thanks for the beer you drank and lets not leave out what you lack so much(..lack of common sense I thank so much.)
But to you I give a special thanks for not knowing your limit-and when to say when.
Now it’s a hobby your booze and your beer.
You need that in you to make you a man, for others to fear.
I am not going to be as happy as you can be.
I am from you and you dislike me.
I am not going to be as happy as you can be.
Too bad you wont take credit for this man you helped make.
I’ve learned I can do anything be anyone …with no backlash for mistakes.
I can fill the pants and yet walk in my mom’s shoes.
For she was the dad that I never knew.
I can say…
I learned by example but hell not from you.
I learned from others just the right thing to do.
You with all your demonic actions from within.
Tried to rob me of my soul and my joy; told me I was a failure that I could never win.
Instead it back fired. You don’t know it but I did… I did learn something from you.
I learned of all the things ones not suppose to do.
Also I have self love and limits that you can not take…and no other man can and will never forsake.
I make myself happy I think you’d agree
Because you’ve see first hand what you’ve done to me.
I am still here…and I am still me. I am all those things you hate to see.
My dreams and my likes are still alive within me.
I am a bit grateful for what you’ve shown to see.
Now I am much stronger than what I used to be.
I have taken my fate back in my own hands.
I’ve taken the wheel I control my own man.
Its not so hard now that I am able to see..
I am from you…and you don’t like me.
I refuse to be as happy as you’ve been to me.
Can I share a little secret that took me long to learn.
I give it to you so that it’s easier to be.
It’s a little tarnished (kind of like me)
We’ve all got some self-cleaning that we look at with fright.
Look at yourself before your pointing to me….before I am in your sights.
Then you might tell me what it is you really see.
The smiles and good times is what I am now about.
Yet we can’t make each other happy it comes from with in.
Love yourself accept and grow is what I’ve done from all the places I’ve been.
I refuse to be as happy as you can be.
I am from you and I do like me.
Am I so ugly, you still refuse to see me?
Leaving me wondering on what your eyes do see.
You look at this mirror not with all but disgust….
I told myself things will change….it will…he must.
I refuse to wear a mask, I refuse to pretend.
Those things weigh you down.
If in water you’d drowned.
Yet there’s no water and now you’re left still gasping for air.
The naked truth without your lies is something un-breathable to you.
Too many times my hand offered-to you extended to help.
To find I now under with you on my head.
You now safe, leaving me under there’s no place for escape.
You enjoying your air while holding me down,
that was the past and I survived. You failed to kill my spirits, I am still all around.
Now my hand is not there when you gasp for air.
With anger in your eyes your hand waves with might…
there is no hand there for you …nothing to cling tight.
You look all around thinking this must be wrong….No it’s true I am not there…
I am gone…….I will let you drown now before you again hold me down.
I have suffered and suffered with great pain…only to find out it all was in vain.
Your words are the weapon drawing blood…they cut real deep.
This is your war you have started…with your own flesh.
Self defense is a bitch, a fare warning at best.
I’ve now got a shield and a knife of my own.
I’m armed and ready…..I wait for your attack.
I think you realized long before I that I’m not your clone.
Could this be the reasoning behind your ignorance and hurtful actions?
I am not going to be as happy as you can be.
You see misery she likes company
So I got to go. I turn down her invite.
No I will not take a bite.
I am leaving now…I refuse to stay.
Breaking for freedom with your eyes glared dismay
You’ve been with her for years and have hatred to show…..
You’ve given me too many reasons…too many reasons to go.
It’s so sad. You don’t give me the chance. The chance to make you laugh.
I’d tell a joke or two and wait for your smile then possibly kindle the friendship’s fire.
I’d know just what to do…maybe even know what to say…
But you’ll never know me because the false image of me you’ve created.
But I guess its too bad…It makes your son sad.
Does it really have to be this way? Because I think you’d like me.
I think we could’ve been friends.
Now I break those chains created by all the cruelty and names.
You’re not going to stop me from being free
Happiness is so close…I can actually see.
That’s no life holding miseries hand. My hands will remain empty.
I am my own man.
I’ve got a life to live and love to share.
The smiles and good times is what I am about.
I’ve lived my life in agony-due you.
Now I realize I am not you and you are only a small part of me.
We share the same life that flow through our veins.
Yet that will never make us quite the same.
You see I am me and you are you.
We are separate – – we equal two
One with wisdom far before his years.
The other loves misery she shares in his life too.
I refuse to be like you.
More different than alike…little keeps us the same.
For I am not you, and yet you flow with in me.
I won’t live that life of misery.
I won’t be as happy as you can be.
I am my own man…taking two steps forward, I set myself free.
