Hey there homo-sapiens, homo-sexy-uals, and homos-that are-erectusisis. Been a second since I’ve tried to share some love out in the universe through this platform and JLo’s new song, “Nothing can stop me I’m free…” is kinda giving my soul the hug it needs this morn.
I hope you get the same kinda hug to your soul when you listen to it. And yes, you should listen to it. I hear for every stream of that song that whiny bitch Megan Kelli gets a boil on her pussy. She’s always trying to jump on someone else’s popularity train in hopes that their shine will somehow get on her. All the while she does the work of white angry fascists who cancelled her. What a dumb bitch, LOL. Make a racist like F-Elon Muskyrat mad and listen to it and go to her movie this October. (EEEEEEE! I can’t wait.)
I hate racism and bigotry. It is ruining our country and watching the dismantling of our democracy hurts my soul. They are hurting innocent people and separating families… good hard-working families. It’s disgusting and I can’t wait until those cankles explode. Dear Lord, please let them esssplode sooner than later, like today. (In Jesus name I pray.)
So, watching all their disgusting hatred become mainstream has totes got me bummed. But what do we do to bums? We poke them until they are happy. So, with that said I’ve been doing my meditation/prayer every morning, rocking out to JLo, CeCe Winans, and working my tail feathers completely off. My soul hurts and these things help me heal.
Post back surgery has been fuckin rough! My adorable spine surgeon said that about half of the people who have spine surgery will have extreme fatigue. Well, aren’t I lucky guy. I’d much prefer to win the lottery, not win at terrible ailments game. Alas, the fatigue has been real. And them pills – Oxy 10s – well they helped with the pain and all, but those things are dangerous.
I tried to stop taking them a few weeks back because the pain level is not what it once twas and holy shizzle I sent my cute behind into active withdrawal. I didn’t realize that my body was addicted to those fuckin pills even if my mind was not. All a sudden there were all these pains in my body that weren’t there before. Weird headaches, sinus aches, and at one moment I think I could feel my liver ache. So, wanting it to stop I took another pill. That withdrawal was too fuckin terrible, and I had to finish the rest of the work week.
But I can do hard things. I not only like bouncing up and down on hard things, but I can do hard things too. I wanted to stop the pills, and they weren’t going to let me leave without a fight. I picked the following weekend and stayed home, turned off the phone, smoked some weed and quit cold turkey. 4 days of ewe. Fuck that tapering off shit, I control my body, not those pills and not any government. I didn’t have spine surgery just to pick up an addiction. F U C K dat! It was totes icky. They served a purpose, but I can see why some of my old friends in Utah couldn’t kick that habit or why people turn to heroin when they can’t get them pills. They just want that pain to stop. Trading one pain for another is not what I wanted to do.
One of the jobs I had when I lived in Utah was working in the ERs as a social worker. While at the U of U’s ED I did assessments on people coming in that were trying to get off pills or heroin. I remembered how awful and painful it looked to quit. They were literally crying, and sometimes hallucinating. Big men crying like little bitches.
That’s one reason why I wanted off those fuckers as fast as I could, but I didn’t realize it had already turned into a body addiction. Thank God, Goddess, Jesus and JLo that I have a tough mind, willpower and know I can do hard things. Again, my life has not been easy. But so many of our people’s lives aren’t easy. We are survivors and sometimes thrivers.
Since then, a friend of mine visited from Utah, and we went to San Diego for my first time since living here. It’s only a couple of hours away. It was more beautiful, big, and chillier than I remember. (Only been there once in my early 20s.) I’ve definitely acclimated to this desert weather. Desert rat all the way I suppose… (although I prefer the term Desert Hare/Bunny instead of rat). I think that was my turning point with the fatigue too.
I was exhausted after walking a bunch leading to me cock blocking myself all weekend. If I’m too tired to do a hard thing… then I can wait -if I must. I’ve since started trying to be a little more active and was finally released to start physical therapy. I have a trainer I’m going to use too, but I’m finding that I have to work myself up to a trainer. That’s how fatigue and weakness have been controlling my life. Its exhausting to be so exhausted.
But, I can do hard things. I’ll get there. I’m working on it. In fact,
“I wanna dance
And love
And dance again
I wanna dance
And love
And dance again”
And that’s just what I did last night and to be honest with you…. It felt GREAT. I felt like I may not quite have all my rhythm back yet, but with practice I’ll be shaking it like I used to in no time.
I’ve been carrying around anger and anxiety from watching their hatred on the news. It’s heavy and if you can tune it out- do. Dancing, and dancing again was just what I needed to break that spell.
Oh, also when my friend was here we went to Street Bar, and I didn’t realize that it had been that long since I’d gone down to Arenas. They now accept credit cards. Me- “How long have you accepted cards?” Bartender, “Like 5 months.” They even finished the bathrooms LOL, that’s how long that pain had me down.
I can do hard things. We LGBTQ people can do hard things. We Mexicans can do hard things. It has been woven into our own American history that we’ve already overcome so much adversity. This fat cankled monster that doesn’t even speak proper English and you know he’s on that list, can’t take away your/our freedoms, unless you don’t vote.
Remember listen to JLo and make a racist mad. Her success is counterintuitive to the message of hate against brown people, Mexicans, and queer people that they are preaching in our country right now. Don’t let their hate make you give up. It may bruise the soul, but bruises heal. This is a terrible moment in OUR American history, but we need you to be around to fight this battle along side us(a) at the ballot box. Otherwise we will all end up in those camps. YOU must be around for this battle against evil. You can’t give up and you can’t give in.
I for one am so super duper glad that democrats are finally growing backbones and balls for this resistance. That Jasmine Crockett is an intelligent woman of color and has proven to have the biggest balls next to AOC and our very own Gov Newsome.
Remember, those hateful fuckers don’t like a smart or successful woman of color because they are hope dealers and I for one need that kinda fix. And I need to dance again. And again…and again. It was a great stress reliever.
In Love w/ Freedom,
The Happy Homo
PS I love you. (Most of you.)
PSS YOU deserve to be here and you deserve your chance at life, liberty and your pursuit of happiness. Stick around and then vote those fuckers out of office. We the people need YOU!
PSSS I can’t wait to see her in Vegas. I need to save up for the meet and greet. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
PSSSS I’ve purchased all the JLo fragrences and my top two are 1- Limitless 2- One and you should get them. Yum.
PSX5 Despite this administrations efforts I still love my country. Even if it doesn’t love me or people that look like me back. I am who I am because I was raised to believe in my right at life, liberty and my pursuit of happiness. I had a special surprise kinda day at work. One of my clients knows how much I love, appreciate, and honor our service members (Active and retired). I held a Veteran’s… a GAY man Veteran’s Purple Heart. He fought and was injured in Vietnam. “You tell them you only get this if you’re injured in combat.”
He fought for his freedom and yours. We’ve always existed and always will. No one can change that fact. (Dont tell but it made me emotional and my eyes welled up a tiny bit in gratitude .) 
Our people have been fighting for our country all along. Don’t let them make you think otherwise. YOU, me, we, us(a), they, and them belong here. Freedom is worth fighting for.
God bless America 
