Dearest Palm Springs,
As many of you know or don’t know, I’ve had a bully since I arrived here. Technically, it was before I arrived here. He totes stalked me on FB before I even left Utah. I’d love to stop talking about bullies but unfortunately the world is full of them. I’m happy that I have friends I can talk to about it (it being him), have an outlet in writing (as it helps purge me of his continued actions), and I have a quiet space in my home where I can meditate (or pray) the angst that punk ignites in me away. Or at least it calm my titties enough so I don’t snatch him up like I’d like to.
Like I said, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love to punch him right in his nose and he’d surely deserve it. I retain my right to talk about the bullying and I think he was under the impression that I was silenced. I am not. Despite my burning desire to punch him square in his big face I choose you Palm Springs over being his ass.
What does that mean? Well bitches, it means that he’s gross, disgusting, and a big fat bully. What kind of person would make a fake review/post on my businesses Yelp page and claim to be a victim of a mass shooting? Yes, he posted this as a fake client of mine. Its pretty gross, petty, and cringy AF! And he’s been my bully for the last year and 4+ months. Ignoring him hasn’t gotten rid of him like I’d hoped, and many other people would have whooped his ass by now. (He’s done some disgusting things to me.)
I’m trying something new in Palm Springs. That 20-year-old beast in me is dying to come out of the locked cage to play with him, but I have the key and I’m not ready yet. This person has shown me nothing but hate since they announced I was hired at my last job and continues to show the same hate today. As a clinician, the behaviors I see meet the diagnostic criteria for borderline personality disorder, which in my opinion he is. They are the hardest to get rid of.
I want to Frank or Jan about this, he was fired from the job after the bullying I reported was investigated internally and externally (from an outside agency). I was not his only victim. He had a student he was supervising, because he’s also a clinician that can supervise, and he was so mean to her. She was sweet and knowledgeable but like he said about me, “She doesn’t deserve to be here because she doesn’t represent the values….and she’s overweight.” Then he demonstrated how she wears her clothes. All the while, in my mind I was like, “Ummm, how dare you! That’s how you look more often than not.” I didn’t speak up in that moment and I should have. My apologies to that student because I was putting my own interest ahead of hers and trying to keep my head down, in hopes he’d leave me alone. I was wrong to do so.
I don’t know if you remember my post about my ruby red shoes that I went out and purchased after an email was sent out reaffirming the dress code. Well, the email was really about her and since I’m used to being the target of people’s hate (in Utah- for a variety of reasons), I instinctively thought it was directed at me. Later, I’d find out it wasn’t. I was wrong. I tried to speak out then because the bullying didn’t stop towards me either, but my complaints fell upon deaf ears (initially).
He then went on to say how gross she was and that he could smell her fat pussy all the time (he said other rude shit about her too). Rude shit from a rude insignificant man. He fired her because of these things and she had to finish her practicum somewhere else and really wanted to work with the LGBTQ/HIV population. He robbed her of that. What a shitty experience to have as a student… to be treated like that by someone who is willfully strong headed about tearing other people down. And to have that as your practicum supervisor, ugh poor girl. There was nothing wrong with her, he was the problem and he discriminated against her.
I speak truth to his lies, and it took a lot of complaining about his actions for him to finally be fired. Again, two different investigations internally and externally. And I heard he did this to another male clinician before me. Tisk, tisk HUNTY (I think he hates it when I use that word Hunty- cause he used it in his bullying post like I say hunty in sessions LOL. What I surmise from the post is, yes he’s a reader and stalks everything I do.)
So, to clarify, just in case you read the post. No, I’ve never been a member of the NRA. In fact, I oppose them and their disregard for life no matter the age. And I oppose dark money in interest groups and in politics. Just like its namesake, dark money means dark evil intentions, from people in the shadows that have ill intentions for America and Americans. We talk a lot about intentions in this blog. (We meaning me and you if there are any readers out there besides him. Who knows if there are? And Who cares? It feels good to purge myself and put truth into the universe.)
It makes me feel better to use my fingers to fight instead of my fists. But boy, does that 20-year-old Lee want to come out and play. But again, I choose you Palm Springs. I choose to not get in trouble. I choose to not go to jail for beating that bitch down. I choose not to lose my license over some borderline bitch who can’t control his actions and derives joy from hurting people. That’s some sick shit.
Also, to clarify, I’ve never owned an AR15. I have family members who do but I don’t agree with them and I’m a gun owner. I’ve never been a big fan of guns in general, but things in Utah went weird after traitor trump was in office and there was hate everywhere. It seems to have bled throughout the country. So, I went and I got a gun just in case. (and I practice shooting too)
My stand on guns, the NRA, and gun violence is public record. I ran for office in Utah and part of my platform was to ban bump stocks and dark money. Americans should know where the money for special interests, lobbyists, and campaign donations comes from. I think it shows who the politician is really working for. Is it Americans? The last 4-5 years has me thinking otherwise, but that’s just my humble opinion. If you think I’m just making it up… google it. I’m there on the internet from years ago. I’m not making that shit up- again I try not to lie, especially about stuff that can be easily looked up on the internet.
With regards to Yelp reviews, they are all fake except for one. Even a few of the good ones are fake clients, they are from friends trying to balance out the bullies. My record can reflect that I’m still working with all the clients I’ve done an assessment on since I’ve opened, except for one and that’s because they are not in a position to participate in therapy at this time. (No more info about that person.)
I’m proud to have started my own practice as scary as it has been. I’ve learned a lot and worried a lot too. I just ask you Palm Springs to make up your own minds about me. Yelp is garbage and I’m so sorry I ever signed up for it. It’s just a bullying platform. All fake clients, again- except for one. Yelp would only remove one post I complained about. Boo Yelp!
To be honest, every weird email I get about sex positive therapy that goes too far or phone messages at 4:59 PM on a Friday (which I’m not open on Fridays for calls), I believe is one of two bullies just trying to set me up. I also am never getting on the apps again. I’ve gotten some weird messages and some I intentionally fuck with (say stuff to) because I think it’s him. That’s such shitty way to feel and live.
It’s led me to have some PTSD of my own and some social anxiety that I never thought I’d have. I’m a pretty fucking social creature that loves his alone time too. Writing helps, the tools I know help, and talking to a therapist helps. Remember therapists are people too. They have the fight or flight response built in their systems just like you do. My initial response is to fight.
With that said, I’ve got the fight locked up until I really, really, really need it. I don’t want to hurt anyone but will defend myself within the space the law allows. I came here in search and to live in love and peace, but this bitch won’t leave me be. I want to stay as excited about this place as I was the first few months of my arrival. I was living in pure Queer Joy. I hope that I get the chance to return there without the pesky gross bully nagging and pulling my attention away from the things I want out of the rest of my life. But it gets harder and harder to not use the key. There’s so much more I haven’t shared about this bully and the hate he’s shown me. Another time, another post.
I’ve had a cold and in that ew feelings of it, I wondered if this was actually the right place for me. I literally thought of looking for a way out. Where else should/could I go cause this bully isn’t letting up. A person can only take so much before they snap or strike back. And then I thought I have to live within the means of the law, using my brain and fingers and not my fists. Because as good as it would feel the end result would hurt me more and it would limit my ability to work with the people I’ve grown to love.
Yes, I had those thoughts of leaving. Then I thought of the people I’ve had the pleasure of helping and that silenced my beast. Then I thought fuck that bully. I’m not going to give up on this place, queer joy, and my many dreams within this city just because of him. The day that happens is the day I unlock the beast. There’s an inner beast in most of us and mine likes to hit bullies in the face. But again, Palm Springs, my current clients, and my future ones too, I choose you.
With Fierce Fingers,
The Happy Homo
PS I also realized that no matter where I go this bully will seek me out. He’s that locked in on me.
PSS I’m trying to live in the light but this bitch keeps putting her shade in my shine.
PSSS Palm Springs is a small town and I’m realizing how small it really is and how big it can be.
PSSSS I feel like Nomi Malone from Showgirls who doesn’t really understand the larger world outside of Utah’s bubble. I’m learning though and I’ve gotten freaky in a couple of swimming pools. But that was when I first arrived, now my inner hoe is in a cage next to the beast. I’ll let her out from time to time.
PSx5 I’m not going anywhere.
PSx6 Mindfulness, meditation, and prayer work for therapists just like they do their clients. Practice what I preach bitches.
PSx7 Did you hear the new Dolly Parton Rock Album? It’s fucking amazing. Although, I did delete the song with Kid Rock in it. I don’t want to support or listen to anyone who hates any part of our queer community; nope not for my entertainment. But Dolly I sure do fucking love. Watch the Dolly interview on the Drew show. Love!
PSx8 Also watch the Megan Fox interview on Drew. She said something like, “You’ll never get validation from other people’s opinions. You can only care about how you feel about yourself.” Word! And I’m loving me, even chunkier me. However, I do prefer the thinner me, that’ll come in time; I hope.
PSx9 I was gifted a new deck of Tarot Cards. They are beautiful. Today I pulled my first read on myself. The third card is the future. The Star, 17th card of the Major Arcana. The advice of the card, “You are traveling the right path therefor do not give up hope. Continue, once you have completely focused on your objective, to channel your energies towards this, remembering that the more you give the more you will receive in exchange.” And I got a lot of love to give you Palm Springs.
PSx10 I’ve been off the Kim K titty for a while now and I didn’t break out in a rash. I didn’t die. And I’m okay. 😊 She’s killin the whole game and rewriting it as she sees fit. Good for you gurrrl! I just can’t superfan over anyone that kicks it with trumps.
PSx11 OMGGGG, did you all hear the new Cher Christmas Album? LOOOOVES it! And in my last posts I’ve mentioned the Ruples *RuPaul Christmas Albums. You need all of them. LOOOVES! (I’m probably bugging my neighbors with my ongoing Xmas music hehe)
PSx12 This is now a prelude to the post I was originally going to post tonight. I thought there needed to be some clarifications before I posted it because the bully flared up recently, again. Ew, what kind of person would use a fake account to say they were my client and a victim of mass shootings seeking help from PTSD and that I made them feel small? Or that I said “if you don’t let me help you, you won’t let anyone.” And then say I told them the hardest thing I did when leaving Utah was giving up my AR15. If you know me, and you don’t yet, you’d know that’s nothing like me at all. Now that I sat it in for a week, it’d be laughable if it wasn’t such a gross subject. Literally, Americans have died and continue to die because of the lack of gun control; and he uses that for his bullying pleasure. Gross.
PSx13 I’ll post the original post (written before this one) tomorrow or something.
PSx14 See I feel better already. Finger flicking therapy.
