I Love Carbs vs I’ll Eat His Bread vs Happy Easter vs Happy 4/20

Hey homos two super important holidays are coming up! YAAAAS, I’m refereeing to Easter and 4/20; which happen to be on the same day this year. God is good. Told ya so.

I wanted to share some thoughts… and I shall not tell a lie… I love me some carbs. Maybe it’s not a secret or important at all, but I love them in my mouth and siding down my throat. See, truth telling should not be so hard to do- no matter what our current leadership demonstrates.

Another truth is, and I may get a little bit brown Utah Catholic here, when I was a fat little brown kid in my Husky pants (pants for young fatties) I loved listening to Jesusy songs sung by the church choir. (We bounced around from Catholic to Baptist Churches.)

I remember sitting in the pews of that Utah multi-cultural church, where sermons were spoken in English and Spanish, looking up at the pastor and the choir as I sung my little gay Christian heart out.

A lot has happened since then, but it took me until my adult life, perhaps in recent years, to realize that one of my favorite hymnal songs we’d sung a zillion times, “When the Roll is Called Up Yander” wasn’t exactly what I thought it was.

So yaaas queen, yaaas, I’m admitting I twas wrong. I thought for so man(y) years that roll call was referring to a yummy golden brown dinner roll of some sort. Like big balls of yummy carbs with butter dripping down them. Ooo, I twas wrong.

Fine, I’ll just admit it was when I listened to Reba McEntire sing that song, “When the Roll is Called Up Yander” some time in last few years (or months) when I realized it wasn’t dinner rolls at all. It twasn’t even referring to an Alissa Edwards’ back roll. It was about calling like… like school attendance roll. Examps: “Present”, “Absent”, or “American Hero.” What do you respond when called?

How could I think that it was about bread? Well, I just about to tell you silly beeoch,

So, Jesus gave/gives His life for All of US(A)- despite what many fookin people would have you believe. YOU, they/them, and me are included in that. Them fookin people clearly don’t know what they are talking about. Fookin idiots.

So yeah, Jesus gave his life for the forgiveness of er’ body’s sins (including mine). Christians celebrate it this week all across the country, it’s Holy Week. Yesterday (Thursday), we honor Him having the Last Supper with his group of hot sexy men (I assume). And knowing He was going to die, He said something like, “Take and eat; this is my body” and then passed around some bread, and then passed around some wine (ooo I love wine). He sai d, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant. Do this in remembrance of me.” So, His body is/was the bread they shared. See why I love carbs so much? And His blood that twas spilled is/was the wine. See why I love wine so much?

Now my bestie says I can’t blame my carb filled fat ass on Jesus. To which I say, I’m loving Him all up in my mouth, and honoring Him the best way I know how, by swallowing. At least that’s what I’m blaming it on. (Extra credit for Jesus.) (Gobble gobble)

Friday, or Good Friday, is when they hung Him on the cross and murdered Him; for all of US(A). Then on Sunday we honor that day because He rose from the dead. He met with his disciples before he ascended into Heaven where He is seated at the right hand of God (or ascended into space – could be the same thing. Who knows?).

Now all that may be hocus poke-us to you but it makes me less afraid of what’s happening today. It brings me hope. Yes, another not lie… is that I’m scared, worried about the state of our country, and broken hearted as we watch America slowly die as we are overthrown by Russia and Oligarchs.

Our congress is filled with a bunch of pussies (as my Tia would say) or their inaction is planned because they’ve sold our country out to the devil, Russia and Putin. How else could that crazy lady’s net worth be over $22 million in only 5 years? (Referring to the butch bleached blonde one).

They are not holding this evil sob accountable for hurting American citizens, defying the court orders, and insider trading (just to name a few). Fucking hypocrites (and God hates a hypocrite.) It’s disgusting to see it all happening right in front us(a) and my heart breaks as they (F-Elon and the other oligarchs) steal our rights, your life’s savings, and your hope, dreams, and futures.

So, I might as well keep it churchy the whole way through… it is Easter and 4/20 weekend. Grateful for both things.

I have to be honest again, and I’m going to share with you what I’ve been praying for day after day. I’m praying that all of our fears will be turned into courage, wisdom and bravery. Because we are all having the same fearful experience right now and there is no shame in acknowledging that We the People are scared as fuck right now.

This is a shared American experience. Yaas, queen, we are having a shared American experience. That does not make you weak to be scared. That just means this something completely out of our scope of American mentality. Like, we never thought something like this would ever happen in our lifetime, but it is. We don’t even know how to bounce back from it. But we must. Bitch, betta bounce back, every last one of y’alls. Cause we need everybody right now. There’s no way we make it out of this without everyone. Every letter in the LGBTQAI+, every color, every religion, and nationality are needed in this moment to move as ONE- United State of Being to defeat the evil that is overthrowing our government.

We all move forward together, with love for each other, believe in truth and equality and that’s how we win. There is nothing stronger than that kinda loving movement.

So, the other stoned day, I was wondering how often we Americans have the same thoughts. I pondered if the American consciousness is also united in some way. I wondered if there was a theme.

Like what would you do, if one day you woke up and America and your freedoms were being stolen out from under us(a) and Russia was behind it? Or what would you do if your American ass woke up to find that America was stolen by a dick-tator?

I also wonder if there are any similarities in our thoughts at different time periods of human existence? Like different decades or centuries? YAAAS, I smoke a lot of weed and sometimes it makes me think.

Are humans really that complex? Are there always going to be evil corrupt lying cheating men who try to steal everything from hard working innocent people? Can man really be trusted? Can those men ever be trusted again? And how do you tell the difference between a good one and a bad one? NO that’s not a joke, really wondering. LOL- for future dating purposes.

Jesus was a Jew and maybe that’s why I’m also a self-proclaimed Jew fucker (or lover). Something about the Jewyness of them, turns me one. 😊 Bread, wine, and Jews… sounds like a good time to me.

I digress, so do Jews of all ages since the Holocaust wonder what they would do if they were faced with another Hitler? What would they do differently than their grandparents or ancestors before them? It’s a weird thought to have, no? But do you think they have all thought about this?

Same goes for black folks. Does every black person wonder what they would do differently than their ancestors if they were being forced into slavery? Or if their freedoms were being stolen from them again?

Same for Native Americans. Do you ever wonder if you had it to do all over again, what would you do differently than your ancestors?

Same for Japanese Americans. Do you wonder what you would do if you were forced into another Japantown, another concentration camp? What would you do?

Same for the queer population. Ever think them bitches should have thrown that brick sooner? Did you ever imagine yourself throwing it? Or did you ever try to place yourself back in time, where the bars had to have an alarm system that notifies the queer patrons to separate from each other and act straight, while their bar gets raided? All because being gay is illegal? Do you think that could happen again? What would you do?

I know sometimes my baked pa-tator self just goes in a bunch of different thought directions. Yet all directions point to the same problem. What are the possible different outcomes? Who is the great American shero? Or hero? Or theyro?

God Bless America, our democracy, and may He turn all of our fears into bravery, and transform all of us(a) into heroes, sheroes, and theyroes. Please God transform our fear into bravery. I also want y’alls to know I believe in YOU, they/them, and US(A). I believe in you! You are not alone.

I love me a Jew and I also love me some Jesus, bread, and wine. And my love for Jews isn’t just for Jesus, I’m open to other sexy Jews too. Just sayin…

God Bless and Happy American Easter,

The Happy Homo

PS When the trumpet of the Lord shall sound and time shall be no more
And the morning breaks eternal bright and fair
When the saved diverse shall gather over on the other shore
And the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there

When the roll is called up yonder
When the roll is called up yonder
When the roll is called up yonder
When the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there

Let us lay before the Master from dawn ’til setting sun
Let us talk of all his wondrous love and care
Then when all of life is over and our work on Earth is done
And the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there

When the roll is called up yonder
When the roll is called up yonder
When the roll is called up yonder
When the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there

PSS Do you honestly think these corrupt men who are stealing from Americans are going be on that roll? *Takes a bite of a dinner roll* I thinks not.

PSSS