Gurrrrl, I write the following blog post knowing how much negativity I see from the news, media, and sometimes from the daily interactions (and historically- from Utah) that I have experienced with my fellow Americans or Utahns. As a beautifully brown skinned, with a high-pitched voice, high pitched but perfectly quaffed eyebrows, gay cock sucking Homosapien I see a lot of underestimations of my qualifications and abilities. A reoccurring thought I often have when faced with the plague of adversities is, “Bitch, I might be a Mexican but I’m not a dumb Mexican.”
Unfortunately, I’ve had that thought here in Palm Springs too and I”d be lying if I denied it popped in my mind within the sphere of employment (once or twice). But let’s break that down further, “Bitch, I might be a Pollyanna Utah Mexican but that doesn’t mean I’m a dumb Mexican.” It just means I haven’t had the means to fulfill the dreams and desires I’ve had when I’ve allowed myself to have them. I try my hardest not to live outside of my means but sometimes that’s hard to do.
That means no Vogue magazines because I don’t want to look at all that nice beautiful shit that I’ll never be able to afford. I know I’ll want it. I’d rather not know what I’m missing because it’s so far from my reality. I’d rather dream closer to my reality, where I might be able to extend my arm and pick it like one of these huge California sun ripped grapefruits hanging from the trees. I feel closer to my true potential here than I’ve ever felt in my entire existence. It’s definitely a game changer, mind changer, and dream changer just being able to exist here. I’m actually paid the same as my white colleagues here, vs $5 less than the new hire or $10 less than people who have been at the same job as me for a few years more. The shit is real.
Reality is if you are reading this you identify as a cock sucking mother fuckers as well. My favorite kind of people. As a delicious and happy citizen of this great and free city I wear a few different hats, even in the short time I’ve been here. You know I’m also a mental health therapist and with that I often see people struggling with anxiety and depression as it relates to the messages the right wing media and republicans vehemently express to us. I see it.. I feel it… just like you but we can’t let it overwhelm us. Let’s process it together.
Many people may think differently but I think the extreme right-wing republicans have already declared war on us, our “lifestyle” and our rights. My God, they are attacking drag queens and sending a message that our interactions with children should be questioned. They are so fn wrong it’s gross. I know what kind of fears their messages bring and know first hand what their actions call for, otherwise I’d never of moved to Palm Springs. It felt like it was no longer safe for me to be in Utah. I felt like I was going to have to physically defend myself against a white republican extremist that so frequently called me a “faggot” at the grocery store the last few years I was there. I really thought “fuck I’m going to get in a fight with these mother fuckers and I’m the brown one that’s going to get in trouble.” I say that as its not my first rendezvous with a angry white person in Utah. There’s so much more to share with you guys from the first time I was targeted as a gay man at work, had people spit in my drinks in the back room of a store, to people spitting huge loogies on my car windows in the parking lot at work, and people refusing to give me a chance when I worked at the Salt Lake Police Department as a social worker. (All those stories will come- I have no more problems sharing what the fuck they did. That’s how we learn and that’s how we improve.)
Despite all the negativity I’ve seen and experienced I’ve had good times too. I’ve tired so hard to live my life in happiness but didn’t realize I didn’t know true happiness or freedom until I moved here. I still am unlearning a lot of the bondages I faced in Utah (not those kinds you nasty bitch but I like how you think). Its different to be able to go out to a bar or club and not fear that something I do, slutty or not, is going to affect how people see me as it relates to my ability to do my job. I can wear a boa, a harness, booty shorts, or a skimpy as fuck swimsuit to the pool (or nothing to a private pool) and it’s not going to bleed back to my job. More importantly people understand that it has nothing to do with my capacity to do my job. That shit doesn’t matter here. That’s freedom. Also realizing that the police aren’t waiting outside of the gay bars to pull you over when you leave is a sense of freedom.
When I first arrived in Palm Springs at my current employer, I had a problem talking about dicks, wieners, penises, and gay sex in general in a therapy session. It felt like it was set up. I brought that baggage from Utah. I’ve sense discarded that baggage because we, after all, are gay men and sex, penises, and our own thoughts about our ability to be loved or desired by someone else directly affects our mental health. Now, after saying it repeatedly to my supervisor at their request, I can say, “Penis, penis, penis” in a professional setting and not feel like someone is going to blame me for being a pervert. I’m probably the top 10-15 % of the least perverted people here in Palm Springs, but I’m working on it. I hope to get to 30-35 % of the least perverted people here.
What I’m trying to get at is our actions matter. Not everyone has a thick skin like me or maybe they don’t possess the knowledge of their rights, within the Civil Rights Act and American’s with Disabilities Act; what it means or how it protects their job or ability to rent a home. I’m not a dumb Mexican like I said, but I try to practice kindness. I practice it with everybody. Everybody deserves kindness, until they don’t. Then they deserve action, follow up, and kept at a safe distance. We need to protect ourselves and those around us and we should be kind to each other while doing it. (You might even get called a “pot stirrer” if you advocate for yourself but if don’t who else is going to? And advocate for those other disenfranchised groups. Because if/when they lose we are next.)
The negative messages we see are also the same messages that are expressed to Jews, Mexicans, Blacks, Asians and Non-Christians. It is usually from the same source, out of the same evil mouths. The same evil spirit that possessed the slave owners is back and its coming for your rights and mine, and those mentioned above. How to we insist on solidarity with the above-mentioned groups? We are after all fighting a war together, whether we realize it or not, with the same unidentified individuals belonging to white supremacist groups. They hate all of us. That alone should unite us.
That’s why I think daily actions are important. That brings me to my next question, how are you lifting up your fellow homo? Are you offering a kind word? A smile to a stranger? Perhaps a welcomed grope? How are you extending kindness to the other groups I mentioned? Were in this together or traitor trump is back in office. It’s our choice, we have the majority, how are we going to respond? Do we respond in unison, because that’s the only way we win. I choose to practice kindness- I want to make someone’s day not make it worse.
Our simple acts of kindness can literally make someone’s day or break it even further, increasing their depression, anxiety, alienation, and isolation. Are you going to be a Day Maker or a Day Breaker? The title of this article should tell you what I’m going to do. It’s time to unite not just as homos/queers but as Homosapiens and Americans that stand up to white supremacy.
Your Brother in Freedom and Equality,
The Happy Homo
PS Not every Republican is white supremacist, you know who I’m talking about.
PSS Remember how they responded to Tulsa Massacre, the Trail of Tears, and the Japanese interment camps. That’s their mind frame- don’t be afraid to respond accordingly.
PSSS Love your neighbor unless they are racist bigots and trying to kill you and take away your rights. Then fight back with everything you have especially your vote.
PSSSS In all the negativity we see and hear about us, about drag queens, and our rights, know I love you.
PSSSSS If we don’t speak out against hate, bigotry, racism, extremists, the whitewashing of black history or the insurrection then we lose. And Black Lives Still Matter!
PSSSSS We win when we are together.
PSSSSSS I hope you choose to be a day maker for your queer brothers, sisters or non- gender conforming Homosapiens and our planet.
PSSSSSSS Just so you know I love me some white man… I just prefer when he loves me back.
and Fuck you Tucker Carlson and all your lies.
