Introductions can be so hard sometimes. First impressions are lasting, and I really want to make a good one on you. I’m Lee Castillo and its very nice to meet you. I was born and raised in Layton, Utah. It’s about 30 -40 minutes outside of SLC and a pretty conservative area. I’m pretty certain where I lived demographically, being raised in a family with very limited means and raised with a homo hating drunk of a Dad played a huge role in who I am today.
I kind of just want to be like *nudge *nudge, just ask someone else about me. Then I realize you could get a variety of interpretations of who I am. Best that it come from the (w)horse’s mouth himself. But for the sake of putting it out there… if you asked a conservative Republican Mormon bitch from Utah who I am, they’d probably describe me in a variety of shitty backhanded ways. That’s how they talk there. They say a lot by not saying what the fuck they really mean. They tiptoe around and around and their passive aggressiveness turns to manipulative aggressiveness. There are some real bitches there. There’s a lot of good people there too.
I suppose they would describe me like, “You know that one Mexican, yes you do the one that failed at becoming a politician. Yes, that’s the one, mmmhmmm. The same one that adopted that kid and then that kid went to prison. Goodness, I wonder if gay people should really be allowed to adopt? You know, his own parents didn’t want him in their house and kicked him out when he was young. Yes, ew he was homeless. They also say he’s sick with that HIV and that’s why no one wants to date him. I know gross, right? I think they all have it. You know what else they say? They say he’s difficult to work with. You know how those gay people are, with those egos, their drinking, and drugs. I hear he tries to be a diva or whatever the word is that those people use. Oh, and I feel so bad for him, he gained all that weight. He’s fat now. Well, I guess that’s the life of an apostate, they have no self-control. We could pray for him. Well, nah, we will baptize him when he dies anyway. Shouldn’t be long.”
They really do talk like that; those two-faced bitches never quite say the words in their hearts. I’d describe myself as a HUMAN FUCKING BEING! I’m a loving person who just gives a shit about people and about my community. I know I’m not the only one who struggles, so many of my fellow LGBTQ+ community members experience the same thing. I’m not special in that way. I just want to reach my arm back to pull the next bitches up. Even if I’ve only made it up a few steps. I long for opportunities to make the disenfranchised and oppressed feel loved. I’m a dog lover, okay that’s an understatement. I LOOOOOVE MY DOGS! They don’t care what I look like, sound like and they love me when many humans haven’t. There are no conditions on their love and its always there.
It’s true I was homeless and that drives me to want to have ample employment. I don’t ever want to be homeless again. It hurts, it compromises you in so many ways and being hungry just fucking sucks. When I was 18 or 19, I hosted a night in a gay bar called Shooters. It was me and a queen named Mahogany. We hosted a male strip night on a Sunday night. At that time, there was no going out on Sunday nights, until we started it. That brought its own set of problems, but omg it was a lot of fun. Like many in my community, I struggled to fill the hole created by rejection of so many in my family. I struggled with drugs, booze and smoked cigarettes. Cigarettes are so gross. I hate that I crave one every now and again.
I realized I needed to get my shit together because I wasn’t getting any younger and the life I was living was hard; it hurt my spirit. There were all these younger and prettier little gays coming on the scene. Yup, time to bounce! I got a few small scholarships here and there and went to school. I have an Associates in General Studies of Science, a Bachelors of Social Work and a Masters in Social Work. I’m an educated beeoch! I’ve found that just because I have those letters behind my name that people don’t discount me as much. In Utah, there was a big difference to have those letters follow my name. It allowed me to have a voice and sometimes it drew people in and they listened.
I’m an avid volunteer. I put together so many fun-fundraisers with some great people and raised thousands of dollars for the Homeless Youth Resource Center (a program of Volunteers of America-Utah). There was a time this Center only provided services M-F. I took it upon myself to work with the Interim Director for the Utah Pride Center and started Breakfast Sundays. I’d like to just mention that I’m not a great cook but the shit I’d make was at least edible. I also relied on so many other volunteers to provide the food and to serve it. Some of the groups, like the Stonewall Democrats, still go to the new location and cook breakfast for the homeless youth program every month. I also worked with a group of beautiful and successful Latinas, and we’d go cook and serve breakfasts as recently as June of 2022. As I think about it, that’s a fucking cool legacy that I’m proud of. People are volunteering and showing these kids they give a shit about them. It’s pretty disgusting/disturbing to see homeless youth statistics. The LGBTQ kids are overly represented. And that’s some sad shit that needs to change.
What else? Yes, I probably was the first if not one of the first Gay people diagnosed with HIV to adopt a kid in Utah. So long as I wasn’t “cohabitating” with someone … like ANOTHER MAN *insert gasp here*, I could adopt. See, that’s how they discriminate against LGBTQ people, they twist and turn their words so that it’s not blatant discrimination, just hurdles. And I jumped over those mother fucking hurdles. With regards to the HIV, well I tried to love someone, well I suppose I did love him.
What I’m trying to say is my live-in boyfriend lied to me about getting tested and I got it. He was a busy guy and gave it to one of my bitch friends named Josh. That was in 2012 and seems like 2-3 lifetimes ago.
I also wrote a little poetry book appropriately named, “Red, White and Gay.” I sold a few copies through self-publishing years ago and removed it because the information within could be damning for anyone wanting to run for office in Utah. It was my form of therapy. It helped to get those feelings out and put them on paper. No, it wasn’t the best poetry. Mediocre at best, but it was heart felt and covered some heavy shit. At least heavy to me, it weighed me down. It was freeing to write my feelings down and get it out of my body.
That brings me to running for office. Yes, I ran for Congress in Utah against Rob Bishop, who seemed to ignore the voices of Native American people and did whatever the oil and gas industry needed him to. He was gross. It was also a response to that son of a bitch of traitor, liar and conman trump being in office. Everything he did pissed me off and I wanted to respond and go fight the fight in Congress, in Washington, D.C. I really think he is the devil. Long story short, I got creamed by that old bastard, but it was one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. I got to meet farmers, people of different backgrounds and listen to their worries, hopes and dreams. It was just fucking cool.
I’ve had foster kids in my home. Boys are disgusting, they smell, they stink, and they never want to wake up. I had some hard kids and one of them was on the spectrum. I had intentions of adopting all of them but two of the three didn’t work out. Of those broke my heart. I did however adopt one kid, I call him Baby James, Jameson, and Little Shit. He really broke my heart, ran away, and did some terrible things that put him in prison. One of my kids, Koby resides in Oregon now and I almost moved there to be closer to him, because I love him. I’m proud of that kid, he’s come a long way. And no, I can’t take credit for that, his adoptive Dads can but he is his own man and gets the credit.
Instead, I ended up in Palm Springs and I couldn’t be mother fucking happier. There are so many reasons why but the primary reason I’m so happy it because the feeling of safety, I value it so much. Utah got a little weird after traitor trump and people would just say and do the rudest most racist or bigoted shit. Again, I’d hear it when I went to the store, to the chiropractor, went out to eat and even at work. It just got so bad that it started affecting how I wanted to interact with the world. Because I didn’t want to anymore, I went inward. It didn’t seem safe to interact.
I’ve touched on a few things in this introduction that I will revisit again. I should have also warned you that I swear a little bit. One thing I failed to mention is sometimes I’m funny. My world is now brighter, safer, and has more of everything that I’ve ever dreamed of. I love this place and I invite you back as you get to know me, my sense of humor, the issues I think are relevant and just to participate in some of my joy, because I feel it every day here. God, I love this place.
Palm Springs is a huge tourist industry. If you are a flaming homo whose purse falls out their mouth when you speak, like mine, you are welcome here. I hope you follow my bloggy blog adventure and see all the joyous reasons you should plan your visit. Palm Springs if you had a hole, well I’d gladly fill it- like you have mine. 😊
