As everyone stayed tuned into the Super Bowl after the amazing Rihanna performance, I honored my inner nerd and turned the channel to PBS. One of the many great things about Palm Springs is they have like 3 or 4 PBS stations. A nerd could find fulfillment here. I found PBS SoCal and began watching a series called, “Making Black America.” I believe it was episode 4 and it talked about a concept I had not heard of before, “Black Joy.”
Don’t get me wrong I swear I paid attention in school, most of the time. I never learned about or heard about Black Joy, not even from my black friends. I’ve always had black friends growing up, we surrounded ourselves with each other or at least saw each other, in the white world that is Utah. Experience from my youth points out that minority kids, anything other than white, would gravitate towards each other. It was safer that way and often times the white world of friendships wasn’t always really extended to us (at least as kids).
Depicted in the episode was a group of people sitting at a table. They were asked to give their definition of black joy and to describe what it means to them. A woman said something like, “Usually it’s with other black people. It’s a safe place and feeling that you are free. Like you feel you could really be yourself. That’s black joy.” This made so much sense to me after having experienced the overwhelming feeling of joy after leaving Utah to move to Palm Springs. I would describe this experience in the same way, except I’d say, “Usually it’s with other queer people…” I’d likely also add something like, “Its when the daily oppressive and discriminatory social and religious constructs are lifted or no longer felt, and one can move from defense mode to seek self actualization.”
They went on to describe letting go of worry and letting your guards down. How feeling like you could dance and celebrate each other and feel safe while doing it. I mean no disrespect by comparing the joy I felt to the joy of my black friends or the black community, because of the long history of abuses against black Americans. I just have never experienced joy like that and the definition she gave is what I felt inside of me. Perhaps it would be called Queer Joy?
I’ve always felt like I was navigating in someone else’s world, especially in Utah. In truth, I was. It is a white land of Mormons, for Mormons and on behalf of Mormons. And you are more likely to succeed if you are Mormon. Palm Springs is a different feeling – a different sensation. I feel like I’m in my world or maybe better, a world where I belong. That along with the sense of safety that Palm Springs creates fostered joy in my heart, Queer Joy. Its real, I felt it then and I still do.
I may not be one of the rich people out here in Palm Springs or even have expensive clothes. Heck, I haven’t even transitioned to renewable energy sources like solar or EV cars. I’m very much still reliant on my ability to work to provide for myself. My point is I don’t have a bunch of extra money to go out and do all the things I want to, but that’s okay. I’ve never been happier to stay at home with my dogs than I am when I do it here. I love this place.
With Queer AF Joy,
The Happy Homo
PS I still think the Rihanna Halftime Show was the bomb. I’m not sure why more people aren’t impressed with a pregnant woman singing, dancing, balancing etc. This beautiful black woman did a 12–15-minute concert while pregnant! If you can’t celebrate that I wonder what it is you do celebrate? Cause that’s a celebration moment to me 😊
PSS If our community has already talked about Queer Joy, my apologies I’m late to the party. I’m from Utah, of humble means and grew up poor. That means my exposure to things might be a little different.
PSSS I’m have my dvr set to record the other 3 episodes of, “Making Black America”
