Test Test Testosterone

(Naughty Content- so if you offend easy- don’t read. Guy problems.)

5-year-old me is playing outside of my grandmother’s home. Its the close of deer hunting season and I find huge set of unattended deer antlers in the yard. Different points/horns going in various directions- something to play with. I pick up the antlers and put them on top of my head and ran to my Tia Belen, “Belen, Belen look, I’m horny. I’m horny! Tia, I’m horny!” (I didn’t know at that time, why everyone was really laughing so hard, so I said it again.)

Oh, MY Good GOD what’s wrong with me? So super embarrassing thing to admit, but I’m human and not immune to bodily functions – functioning without my expressed permission. Everybody’s body does some gross things, tis part of being a human. Humans are gross and hot all at the same time.

My embarrassing bodily function isn’t shittin or pissing myself (yet) or uncontrollable laughter, or even excess gas tootin about town. It might be even worse! There are moments I’ve found myself having a precum without my knowledge problem, no consent from the rest of my body or my mind, and this problem seems to be dripping into my day-to-day life now. Like, who the fuck springs a leak in public settings? I swear I’m not as a big of a perv as my dick is or would like to be. I guess I should rewind a little bit…. it all started because of whore-moans.

Test- test- is this thing on? Why yes, yes, it is and in my humble opinion it’s on a little too often and a little too hard. I would like to turn it off please. I can find the hose, but I can’t seem to find the spigot to turn it off.

Initially I talked to the doctor about my low sex drive, my disinterest in sex, and starting a GLP1 because I found myself in the thickums club and don’t feel comfortable in my body right now. But come to find out, I was fat but wasn’t fat enough to start the GLP1s unless I was willing to pay for it out of pocket, which wasn’t an option. He said that testosterone could also help me lose weight, but I’d have to do the work. Which I’m happy to do if my body allows me to, meaning back pain remains in check!) He also mentioned that it would help me to identify if the sexual block is in my head, which it clearly is cause the other one is dripping with excitement.

I guess what I’m doing is….is well… you could call it gender affirming medical care and treatment. Go ahead and add me to the big list of Americans already participating in gender affirming care and seeking hormone replacement therapy (it’s not just trans people). It should be available to everyone who needs it, and its no body’s business except for yours and your doctors (and I guess any readers if I have any). Not the business of a shitty pedo president, not the biz of fake ass Christians in the House or Senate, and its definitely not anyone who resides in a different state’s fuckin business as to what you and your doctor decide is best for your health and happiness. (That goes for your children too! Get out of people’s medical business. Worry about pedos in your churches, congress, and WH.)

I started testosterone a couple of months back and things seem to be a little clearer (pun intended). I seem to have some answers about my nonexistent sex drive and have caught a severe case of the hornys. I wondered if it was noticeable before….but now it’s pretty obvious. *looks down*

I’d talked to my doctor about it and me possibly having a mental block after a scary hook up incident out here. Turns out that is likely what I’m dealing with. I know there is a risk that everyone takes when hooking up with strangers (especially online), and this specific incident has been filed in my body as trauma. Who would have thought???

As a therapist, I love to do trauma work using Accelerated Resolution Therapy and literally have helped A LOT of people in our community recover from their own personal trauma(s) using this technique. They say you can do this therapy on yourself, but I’m apprehensive until I get shown how. (Or else I’d have used it for this specific incident by now, and some other things filed in my mind’s trauma filing cabinet in order to gain relief.)

So back to the serve case of the hornys… with how I’m feeling I can easily say, “No wonder you perverted old men out here are so horny all the time.” Ya’ll are on testosterone replacement therapy. I love a good perverted older man… but hey that’s just me.

The problem for me is that my dick clearly wants things or people that I am not at all interested in. My dick may be …but I’m not. How do I get the two to talk to each other? How do I slow the flow when the time for dry underwear and pants is necessary? Does this just calm down by itself? Or do I just keep beating the shit out my dick when necessary? I’m not quite ready to invite someone else in just yet, but my dick sure wants to.

I’m figuring it out and now that my friendship has changed with Rhonda Rae, I’ve got a whole bunch of free time and idle hands…. And what do gay boys (really most men) do with idle hands? Beat their meat.

I am making light of my own experiences and whore-moans. But if you’ve got some trauma of your own, don’t be afraid to deal with it HEAD on (pun intended). I’m looking to find an EMDR or Accelerated Resolution Therapist in my area that accepts my insurance. If the shoe fits, you should too.

Mental health is important part of our lives. We are living in some crazy as fuck times, with some sinister evil people running the show. Our country and the world has become less safe because of them and their insatiable greed. I just hope that you, me, they/them, and all of us(a) stick around to deal with their bull shit and vote them the fuck out of office, or force it if they try to steal this election.

Last week I took an extra day to myself… because all the chaos and evil this administration has caused left me feeling a little defeated. It’s okay to take a day to sulk, pout, and do some self-care shit your body needs. Sometimes that’s just chillin in bed with the dogs… and sometimes its working in the garden with the birds. Listen to your body…. Says the guy trying to ignore his penis.

And just when we thought things couldn’t get any worse… those evil bastards do more evil shit. These MAGA-tards have cashed in on corruption and likely insider trading, lining their pockets with cash. I wonder if that’s the reason why republicans are silent about the Trump-Epstein child rape files? We don’t need the whole files to see that he did some terrible disgusting shit to kids and women. But republicans have sold their souls and remain silent. They’ve taken that money and purchased media outlets, so things are going to get worse before they get better. But that or a drippy dick is no reason to not stick around to fight another day.

CNN is now compromised. So, what is believable anymore? First, they give half a table to fuckin traitors like Scott Jennings and other maga idiots; when they shouldn’t get 1 seat at that table. They are liars, work for billionaires, are corrupt, and can’t be trusted. Who cares what the fuck they have to say? I don’t. Talk about dicks that won’t stop.

Media companies like Skydance/Parmount Media have taken actions to appease a child predator and reshaped CBS to be more favorable to the right wing conservative magatards- which is wrong for a free USA. A couple more dicks, nepo babies and billionaires making your life harder than it needs to be.

Do you remember the good ol’ days when people would say, “CNN is where you get the facts, FOX is full of lies and garbage, and MSNBC is too far left they catastrophize everything.” Well, turns out CNN made way for bigots, racists, and misogynistic pedo protectors to have a seat at their tables. They’ve ruined everything. And Rachel Maddow and the other MS NOW anchors seem to be the only people remembering that We the People are the ones who are running shit and those big media conglomerates must be broken up as soon as possible. The lives of Americans are worth fighting for, voting for, and speaking up for, don’t you think? I mean what happens to the super heroes movies now that Warner Bros is compromised? Is Wonder Woman never going to fight Nazi’s on the big screen ever again?

Besides MS NOW and Meidas Touch News- where do you get your trustworthy news these days? Where are the independent news media outlets you can trust? I know some may think it to be weird to talk about dicks and God in the same blog post, but I don’t think it is. God gave this pecker and human beings have needs. That’s how we are created. So, when I’m confused and a little scared about the state of our world, I pray. Even with an uncontrollable insatiable penis- I pray.

I know, I know, I’m too religious sometimes or talk about my faith a little too much, but that doesn’t make me less gay, or less likely to suck your dick (Given the opportunity – Sir!) (Kidding, or am I? I don’t even know anymore. The last time I think I was this horny was in my teenage years.) These are a lot of hormones- whoremoaning at the same time.

So, it’s clear to me (pun intended), I seem to have put up a block around sex and am working on taking it down. Working through some things my body has filed away as trauma and it’s about fucking time. And working on getting my body in snatched formation is my priority right now. My penis and my brain may not talking but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them. 😊

Ewe, to Fox News (since we brought them up). They hold so much blame for the failed state of our country right now. Their lies and propaganda have made you less safe. Who the fuck needs Fox News? Not me, not anyone who actually holds the belief that justice is for ALL or faith in a God that is good and loves everybody and not just rich white people.

Yes, I said it, the only people who need Fox News are billionaires, the elite rich whites (who profit off your backs, blood, sweat, and tears.), Nazis, bigots, racists, fake Christians, and oil companies. Now it seems that CNN will be joining their ranks even further. What will sexy Daddy Anderson Cooper do? Where will he go? Great, there goes my drippy dick again.

Today is Saturday and it’s supposed to be a fun weekend…. Pride in Cat City. I hope to see you around. If you can’t find me, just follow my snail trail.

Stay safe out there. Be cautious about people in public spaces. Utah had a triple murder last week and you got it, it was a 22 year old young white man who hated queer people who committed these murders. The murderer said, “It had to be done.”

That kind of scary news doesn’t exactly make you want to go out and fuck strangers. I think this whole post is the long version of me saying… I think I am going to ask my doctor if I can cut my dose of testosterone in half. This testosterone is some powerful horny stuff. And I am not sure how much longer I can contain myself and I don’t want to lose all my hair (just yet). Also my trauma is my responsibility to deal with and if you’ve got some- tis your responsibility too.

Dripping With Excitement and Patriotism,

The Happy and Horny Homo

PS I guess this crow tastes delicious. Yup, eating crow. I eat it and sop that big fat biscuit in a big bucket of gravy before I put it in my mouth. That Kenya Pleaser sure turned out that pussy this week on Ruples. Where has that person been? Still think she lost that other lip sync and should have went home…but here we are. The love I have for this show is real. It really helps my own mental health in such scary times. What a gift Ruple’s has given to all of us(a) as a community. It’s so much harder for them to hate us(a) if they know us(a). Most of us(a) are likable people LOL Job well done Kenya Pleaser.

PSS In other Utah news…. A representative from Davis County (a county I grew up in) is racist white trash. If he doesn’t want to be called a racist than maybe he shouldn’t post disgusting racist shit. This is a Mormon in good standing with the church and their Church has not come out to take a stand against his hate filled tweet. Another dick that doesn’t stop. Can you imagine being a person of color and a member of their church? Where you give your 10% but aren’t offered protection against evil hate from their fellow congregants. That church has failed its members who are people of color and those who love us(a) equally. They have also failed God.