Knock Knock
Who dere?
U…
U who?
U -you motha fuckin Gay American Hero.
I want you, they/them, and us(a) to realize your potential and power in this moment. YOUR GAY AS FUCK ASS can be just THE American HERO this country needs right now. And make no qualms about it, YOUR GAY AS FUCK ASS can be just as big of an American hero as any straight mother fucker out there.
Future unborn gaybies could be repeating your name as their American hero – you gay son of a bitch! I hope you do dare to be brave, I hope you do. (Yes, you homo-sexy- ual I’m talking to you!)
You never know, We the Queer Peeps, can be the fuckin American heroes they write about in future history/herstory books, because we are living through a historic defining American moment right now. The corruption, oppression, and hate for most Americans is real right now. This is a Russian takeover whether you acknowledge it as such or not.
The other day, a gay client gave me a copy of a book he thought my office needed. It’s about Queer History in these United States. I hope to review some of its contents here as I learn more myself. But wouldn’t it be exciting if your defining actions today made it into this book’s future publican? Yea, and YOU, US(A), and they/them actually save this fucking country? Wouldn’t that be somethin? I think it’d be totes tits.
But I’m feeling a bit CUNTFLICTED as of late. On one hand I know our country is turning into shit right now and all because of some greedy douche bag corrupt Russian criminal asset; but I can’t help but feel grateful in this moment for me. I’m still more thrivalicious than I’ve ever had the opportunity to be in my whole life, and I love it.
I realize that I’m a lucky gay sonofabitch to be living in Palm Springs for many reasons. For one, the police force is actually on our side. Another, all of you! We get the chance to be as free as we want with our personalities, clothing, expression, comedy shows, and the way we love. It’s a magical place and I’m gay glad to be here and not in Utah. (Although Utah sure did turn out 10,000+ in the protest against this administration -elected and unelected).
The other night I went with some friends to a way gay comedy show, “The Totally Ridiculous Game Show”- Hosted by Bart Bashford. You don’t get that kinda gay comedy funny shit in Utah. Like I said.. I’m grateful to be here. I’m grateful for all the gayness and queerness everywhere I go, along with the general hoeiness that makes up this place. I can participate or not and be just fine here. It’s wonderful. It’s magical.
I realized I laughed more in that hour or so than I had in a while. And it was real laughter- the kind from my fat chunky Mexican American Utah Christian belly. The deep kinda laugh. And no bitches, I wasn’t even stoned when I went (I am as I write this but I twasn’t then).
I imagine that the show would have been 100 times better than it already was if I had been stoned; mostly cause stoned just magnifies your happy. And that show made me happy. It was sooo stooopid! Maybe I’ll be stoned for the next show. Either way, California sober or Utah sober, you are going to laugh at this ridiculous comedy show if you decode tp go (and I encourage you to go). *Sigh* oh how I love dumb comedy.
It was good…it was gay … it was campy as fuck and oh my good God how I love the distraction from what the fuck is actually happening in reality- you know….with the dismantling of our government. The game show in addition to being funny and witty… called for audience participation which made it so much more gay and enjoyable. I’m glad I’m in this gay as fuck desert with all you gay as fuck people…doing gay as fuck shit in these gay as fuck streets. I’m gay glad to be here. I’m gay glad there are comedy shows that cater to us(a).
So, again I am cuntflicted because I’m angry and fed up with that billionaire foreigner buying our government out from under us(a). And I’m tired of them lying to Americans and using smoke and mirrors tricks while they syphon out hundreds of millions of dollars from our treasury and from your retirement savings. They are taking or breaking everything they can out from under us(a), like our health care, your 401(k)s, our data, government jobs, government services, education, and your overall safety. This is a eugenics project and we ALL ARE ON THE LINE. This is affecting everyone’s mental health and overall wellbeing. It needs to stop!!!! We ALL MATTER!
Yup, cuntflicted because despite or in spite of that I’m having such a beautiful moment in my life right now where I can actually afford things (needs and a few wants). It’s a cool feeling that I hope I get to experience for a while longer. But they are coming after my happy too. It won’t be long. So, I’m going to enjoy this moment while I can. I’m going to sing and dance in my living room, with my dog, and drink wine surrounded by hummingbirds in my beautiful little garden; because that’s what I want to do! Eventually they will kill Medicare and stop matching state funds for Medicaid programs and my practice will go belly up. (I like it face down and ass up).
So, as this uncertainty swallows our freedoms, I pray I/we get more free moments like that. Where I can laugh so carelessly, while feeling safe, surrounded by gay as fuck community members, while watching some real queer gay as fuck comedy. I’m so gay glad to be here. It could have only been more gay if I was being spit roasted while watching the game show. Now that’s an idea!
I hope that you…us(a), they/them and ALL Americans find the bravery to do what is needed in this moment. I gay wish that we unite all across the country (across all diverse populations, religious and economic spectrums) and do whatever it takes to save our cuntry. That can mean what ever you want too… because after seeing the turn out across this great nation today, I don’t think that we have to wait for them to come get us(a). I think we can go get them. I told you that we out number them. Don’t let any smoke and mirror tricks fool you otherwise.
Right now, hearing how strong YOU have been in the past is important because we need need you to still be strong! You need to be reminded of your strength because of the unborn gaybies yet to come. They are relying on you and your bravery right now …in this moment… to protect them from evil. Don’t forget who you are bitch!
Some of you happy homo-sexy-uals have already done so much…survived so many trials in your lifetime. You were never promised an easy life… I wasn’t either. Your work is not yet done and neither is mine. As demonstrated by all those old mother fuckers in walkers at protest today and me holding my gay as fuck glittery protest sign. YOU STILL HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE and SAVE OUR COUNTRY!
So just a quick reminder that you old cunts are so strong, you are survivors and thrivers. You made it to this land of milk all these hunnies, and I hope you can be just as gay as you fucking want to be for as long as we can, and then more on top or bottom of that. I hope there are so many gay comedy shows catered to making you laugh and filling you joy (and cum if you get spit roasted while you watch it).
You survived the AIDs epidemic, many of your hometowns and families, homophobia in all the decades, Regan, Covid, Monkey Pox, Trump term 1, and now you are going to prove we will all have the chance to thrive in the years to come (post another traitor trump term).
Knock knock…
Whose there?
You! You slow to realize you are the hero motha fucka. You are the American Hero we need!
It’s always been U. US. USA.
Now is not the time to give up. You can drop the soap in the shower all you want, but you cannot throw in the towel right now. Stay strong and keep going. Don’t be scared. Just like the new Selena Gomez song … she says she’s not afraid to die young…. Don’t let them send her back… and then sign her cast after ya’ll win this fight. I’m not scared of anyone….because how could anyone love you as much as I do? Beautiful lyrics and beautiful vocals.
Cause ultimately that’s all I wanted, just like any of you. A chance to love and be loved the way I want. We all deserve the chance to thrive in our own fucking way.
I hope we are all brave in this scary moment.
Knock Knock…
Who dat hoe?
It’s you, your sista, brotha, motha, niece and nephew’s life that is going to be affected if you don’t do something about it right the fuck now!
I think that we will all need an Accelerated Resolution Therapy session after this nightmare ends. This is American trauma- no other way to define it. As a Gay homosexual pretty Christian and I guess a pretty gay homosexual Christian, I do have to also put in a shout out to Jesus…. If these are the end of times like the Bible says, I hope that Jesus hurries back with his sexy abs. Then I hope he beats their fat asses (and you know exactly who I mean when I say “their”). We deserve to thrive. We the Queer Peeps, and We the People deserve to feel thrivalicious.
I hope you get the chance. Sometimes we don’t get to hear it enough…. but I believe in you. I believe in they/them. I believe in us(a).
In Love w/ Freedom,
The Happy and Patriotic Homo
PS Bravo to Senator Cory Booker!
PSS I was jacking off the other day at my computer and this dirty bird of a dove came down and was watching me. I looked at the bird and he looked at me. I looked at his pecker and he looked at mine. I thought, “Do I stop?” “Is this weird that a bird wants to watch me jack off?”
This naughty little dove stayed there until I shot my wad and then he looked at me, tilted his head and flew away.
I wanted to ask that cute little peepin dove what he wanted. I’d imagine that he’d of said, “A coo…cooo… coooo…coooo.” “COO!”
PSSS Just like that comedy show…. Ya’ll know I turn to Ruples Drag Race to fill my cup and I’ve been needing this season much more than normal. This administration has been stealing the juice out all of our cups and each week it’s been great to get filled up again by all the queens. This week Michelle’s huurrr was er’thang and Ruple’s dress was even more than er’thang. Ya’ll know I love me some Ross and Blackish’s Tracy Ellis Ross with that scaled dress! Well- AMAZING! That top 4 feels right! 😊
PSSSS
PSX5 Something else fun to watch is Nathan Lane, Nathan Lee Gram and Matt Bomer in Hulu’s “Mid-Century Modern” and Netflix’s “One of Them Days” with Keke Palmer and SZA.
PSX6
