(This is a naughty story- I know a lot of my Utah white Mormon gal pals read my posts. I think its a funny story but… there is a lot of naughty content that may or may not be true. I’m a human being and I get to be human too.)
(Blurb: This is written from a new prospective … a friend gave me advice so I wouldn’t chicken out on doing what gay guys sometimes do… go to CCBC. “Just act like you’re doing an investigative piece.” I said, “Oh like DragVesitigations!” I don’t think she knew what I was talking about but added, “Get the story for needing to know Homos. There are other homos just like you that want to know the truth.”
I’m gonna try and lean into the star of DragVestigations, Luscious Massacr’s funmy as fuck personality. That bitch deserves her flowers.
Luscious Massacr brava! You make our people proud. Here is her youtube cannel:
Backstory Continued– I hate shame. I don’t want to do it anymore. I’d rather be an open and honest kinda person. It’s no secret I’ve been working through my own trauma slowly but surely. BTW, I hope you get a chance to process yours too. There’s freedom on the other side of it. I feel like I found myself again.
Since processing with my therapist(s) and getting out of fight or flight mode (fight mode for me), I’ve decided there are things here in Palm Springs that all (willing) gay men need to or should try at least once or more in your Palm Springs lifetime. (More if you like it and I do think I liked it.)
I’ve been a prude in my pain, religion, grief and loss, heartache, and it really wasn’t until recently that I made a breakthrough with my trauma and now it’s time for me. I usually focus on other people, taking care of others, but now I get to focus on myself and getting my dick wet. Yay me!
All of those things literally affected everything I did and didn’t do. AS far as hookups, I certainly didn’t have any tricks over after that one cat fishing incident. In fact, no one except for my neighbors and a few friends I’d already made here have come to my home.
Break it down… let’s see, I’ve had 1 person over for “fun” in those two years (and it wasn’t a stranger-stranger, I kinda knew him a little, and it didn’t turn out to be that fun). Then more recently my trainer came over for a minute (no fun like that -☹ – it wasn’t intended to be) but it was still a big moment for me to have him or anyone over.
He was the first new person in my newer Palm Springs life to come over. For some reason I felt like he wasn’t a Nazi or going to kill or rob me, but who knows for certain? I could be wrong. I probably trusted inviting him into my home in that moment because I literally trust him with my body and *flexes baby muscles* its going good for me right now. If he was trying to hurt me, he probably would have tried already with a weight or something on my face, but occasionally its just his nut sack. Yup, that’s how my trauma brain and responses were flowing. *Where’s the danger?* *Get ready to fight* *Where’s the danger?*
Mmmmhmm, lets see… it was him, then two people I have gone to the movies with (one of which I took on a trip with me to see JLo in Vegas when my friend couldn’t attend.). Then most recently a couple of guys have been coming over for play. (They were fun and I hope to continue to have fun with them.) I actually had people ova for fucks sakes. This is a big deal to me and some major progress. 😊 My penis thanks them.
I’ve also made a decision in my clarity…to try and pop all the my new Palm Springs Virgin Cherry experiences that I have left. At least the ones that won’t make me lose myself completely or my ability to pay my mortgage. Looksie, I only get to pop these cherries once, then the juices will flow. And let’s face it at my age (which is young for Palm Springs and nowhere else), this is going to be the last chance I get to probably feel and experience these exciting and scary new butterfly feelings. Right? Right.
With the understanding that I am also a horny gay man and want to do all the gay guy things that gay guys do here. The following little blog is about my first time going to CCBC ….
************************************************************************************
There I was in my car. I was filled with fear and anxiety, and it was traveling through my whole body like electricity. I looked in the mirror and took a pic of how scared I looked so I can look back at this day (one day) and laugh at my naivete. I looked terrified. I thought bubbled to myself, “Just breathe.” “Remember you are doing investigative work on behalf of the slower more repressed homos out there like you. Happy Homo Investigates!”
I got out of the car and briskly walked to find the entrance. I thought bubbled, “I better fuckin hurry before this happy homo investigator gets cold feet, chickens out and I change my mind.”
I continued to thought bubbled somemo’, “Stop being such a pussy. Everybody does it. All these homos fuckin do it. Now, go in there and go get the story.”
It didn’t work; the electricity was still in my arms and thighs. It was trying to get my body to turn around in the direction of my car; I fought it off and moved forward. I needed to break the story.
I opened the door to the building and entered. Quickly some of my fears were slightly alleviated as there was a familiar smiling face behind the desk. Holy shit it was George Sebastian, one of the stars from, “Where the Bears Are.” If my stoner boner memory serves me, he was a fluffer in the movies and this couldn’t be a better job or place for him to work. It’s funny how seeing a familiar kind face can help calm the nervous system.
I spoke, “Sir, I’ve never been here before and I’m scared. What do we need to know before we go in? I’m popping my cherry, what do I need to know?” (Speak directly into my stoner boner… I mean hidden microphone.)
He gave me the run down and I did the 1st time electronic registration form thingy and just as I finished, my Happy Homo Investigator back up arrived. Three other CCBC Cherry Poppin homos walked in the door and surprising… they didn’t quite look as wide eyed terrified as I did. We made our way for the bar to plan just how we were going to get this fuckin story.
We knew we must do quick surveillance of the area before we go into full investigative reporter mode. We grabbed our drinks and went through the gate. “It is happening… omfg it’s happening. You are doing it.”
SUCCESS we made it through the gate. No one is on to us yet. The Happy Homo Investigators have infiltrated the secure clothing optional area. As we walked through the gate we assumed our new undercover identities. Secretly we were playing a role as undercover investigators… we each adopted a new identity. The thing that we all had in common is that our secret identities were all whores that love dick and booty hole – you know, as to blend in with the other patrons and be undetected. We walked into the locker room, simple…easy …peasy… doh- a naked man. OOOh, MMMMM… a naked man.
This happy homo kept repeating in his head, “Don’t get a boner.. don’t get a boner. No drips.” Get BACK into character. I even thought bubbled Cher’s voice, “Shhnaaap out of it.”
I undressed and got down into the sluttiest speedos I own. (I may need to go shopping because clearly there are even more slutty ones to be had.) We walk out with our drinks in hand and our clear bags with lube, EOS lip balm (cause I’m addicted), sunscreen and such. (We had to play the part. The lube was a requirement for this role and packed first.)
We walk by the secured pool, naked men all up in dere, and others were lounging on the chairs with dicks and balls exposed. (This is awesome – ummm I mean, I’m just playing the part. I’m here to GET that story.).
Oh goodness, naked cocks flopping to and fro’ at 12 o’clock, AND 11 o’clock, AND OOOH YUMM, their er’where! Its as clear as the drool running downside of my mouth, they are everywhere! (I was really into my investigative “character”.)
The whole freakin clock is saying its Dick O’Clock, er’where from 1-12 o’clock – DICKS of all shapes, colors, and sizes- o’clock!
I thought bubbled, “Don’t pop a boner yet… don’t pop a boner…” Suddenly my thought bubbles were interrupted, “Wait? Why am I not popping a boner? Hmmmm…I’m not even leaking out of my shorts? Shouldn’t both be happening?”
Turns out that I was too nervous and scared about this investigation my dick wasn’t working (yet). But alas, I was only here for the fuckin story, and I was going to get the fuckin story… you know…for the peoples.
*Surveilling… surveilling… surveillance in progress*
I’ve secured a table as the assessment determined there were no poolside lounges or lawn chairs available. The table under the tree not only gives us shade, but also protection from peeping eyes as we plotted our next moves. It also lets us peep safely from behind the hard wood. Mmmm…hard wood.
I began to practice the skills I learned from the master (bater) investigator Queen of Investigative Reporting, Ms Lusious Masacar. I began to “brick” or “trade” them all.
I walked by:
Trade ..
Trade….
Trade…
Yumm Trade….
Brick… (looks down at his dick) Bricky Trade
Brick…
Trade…trade …trade.
Creature…. Creature with a big ol’dick
Oh a tiny one. Trade
Trade.
Taaaaraaade!
We made our way back to the table. We began to make plans.
“We should go take a walk around just to make sure I have no active clients here.” “You know… investigate. Where are all those guys walking to?” “What’s over there?”
Everyone agreed to join. Safety in numbers.
“Okay, there’s the bathroom. Are you sure you guys haven’t been here? You seem to know where your going.”
We enter into a room. Safety in numbers was right! This room was packed full of nasty piggies.. . I thought bubbled, “ I think this is called herd thinking…or herd mentality….cause they are all super focused on the same thing.” and we Happy HOMO Investigators oinked as we walked through.
My thought bubblin was goin crazy. I thought bubbled, “Oh what a cute little bench. I wonder if that’s for shoe shiner? Do they do that here? Weird.”
“Oh, and this other room, well it sure is dark in here.” “Too bad I couldn’t bring my phone back here. I could have used the light.”
I looked over, “Oh, what an interesting leather chair type swing.”
We didn’t stay long in that room, as there were more rooms to Happy Homo Investigate. We walked and watched as we hopped from fuck room to fuck room.
Cocks were being sucked. Dicks were being jerked to and fro. Naked guys were circling around another guy, “Hmmm… I wonder what he’s doing down there? Did he fall? I wonder if he needs help? I wonder if all those guys are there to help him get up?” “Aww that’s a sweet thought.” Goodness, this was turning out to be one hell of an investigation.
We walked to the next room.
“Oh, look at that room. It’s empty, but what is this big space down below? It had a dropped floor. “I wonder if that’s for cleaning purposes? Is that a drain? It’s probably for when we get heavy rain fall in the desert.”
We continued our investigative walk….
“Oh, look at all this chair swingy leather hammocks along the row here. All woven just so…soooo neat. They look so comfy. I wonder if it’s the best place to tan? Note to self. Self, ask about that later. Maybe come sit in one and tan if there is time.”
We continued our walk. We made it back to the table safely but only after we continued to Happy Homo Investigate crotches as we walked by …
Oh WOW- that dick is bigger than a BRRRICK! “How in the world….”
TRADE – Umm that looks better than it feels I’m sure. (for now) But OMFG WOW.
The four of us gathered round the table and as thurrrrsty as we were, we drank from our draanks. We were parched and needed something in our mouths.
I asked the other investigators…
“Who do you think is going to be the first one to suck a dick?”
Two of the people pointed to my new mister sister friend I just met sitting next to me.
I thought bubbled, “Hmmm… she must be dedicated to this Happy Homo Investigation and clearly they think she’s the best in her trade. But so am I! I want to be the one to get the story out to the other Good Christian homos who just leak at the idea of what we just saw.” “I’m committed.”
I continued thought bubbling and scheming, “Don’t let that bitch GET YOUR Story! I’m going to fuck her so hard if she steals this fucking story.”
My eyes began to twitch with sexual frustration at the idea of my new mister sister whore friend stealing my story.
“If she’s going to get the scoop before me… I’ll … I’ll… ugh… maybe I should keep a close eye on that bitch.” “But how?”
I came up with a few ideas and landed on inviting her to join me in the waterfall. Was I going to drown her?
She obliged. “Hmmmm…. Maybe she suspects me of trying to steal her story. Nah, bitch its mine.” I smiled mischievously as we walked to the pool.
As we splashed into the cold water, both still in our swimsuits. we noticed movement over yander. No, not in our speedos, over yander I said. As we were standing there a hot naked Daddy guy came and stood by the edge of the pool. His dick just in line with our mouths.
I thought bubbled again, “Hey I recognize him. A fellow community member… I sure love my community.” Then wouldn’t you know it, I saw my mister sister whore friend eyeing that guys dick. I jumped into whore action! I beat that bitch to the punch, I jumped up, grabbed the dick and tried to nervously suck it. Thought bubbling, “I’m getting this story.” “Slurp. Slurp” “Gobble gobble.”
I felt subconscious and handed the dick to her. If she sucks it and I do too, she can’t pass judgement. But really who cares? This is for the story! Be a good investigator. Get the fuckin story! And wouldn’t you know it… she grabbed the dick out of my hands and put it in her mouth. That filthy nasty whore. I dig. (Part of the undercover alias of course.)
We looked back at the table and we were being watched, I quickly put my own dick back in my speedos. Somehow it had fallen out. The water was cold and I was reminded that I had pulled a groin trying to do something an older hot daddy was doing on the leg machines at the gym a few weeks ago, turns out I couldn’t and injured myself. That Daddy was way stronger than me and my accident-prone ass tore a groin! And I shouldn’t have tried it, but did. I didn’t have a trainer there to wag his finger and such at me to correct my behavior… so I tore my groin muscle.
Suddenly, I lost my footing in the curved/slanted pool and my legs went in directions they weren’t expecting to go (yet). Pulling my groin further. *DOH* This is not the groin pulling I had imagined. (For this specific investigation).
With a grimace on my face we said good bye to the dick that was just in our mouths. “Let’s go further investigate. I just pulled my groin. I gotta move around.”
We got out of the pool. I pointed in the direction we had not yet gone, “What’s down there?”
It was at that moment I realized how happy I was to have sucked a dick with my suspicious slut sister. Maybe she isn’t competing for the scoop after all? Maybe she’s just a slut sister who likes sucking dick? Maybe I’m just a slut sister too who likes sucking dick? Nah, it’s the character. Isn’t it? *shakes magic 8 ball in head* Results are uncertain at this time, further Happy Homo investigations are necessary.
We walked down the trail; there was a hot tub. But before we even reached the hot tub we walked by men in speedos and a whole bunch of hot nude men.
I began to classify as I learned from DragVestigations School.
Brick but also trade. (Because I can see the value in people. Can’t I?)
Trade
Brick
Trade… trade… Trade! (Hmmmm, All this fucking trade.)
Trade
Trade
Trade
Just then my tall slut sister said (as we walked by the rooms people rent while on vacation here), “You know we can see right into the rooms? Look the windows are wide open.”
I answered, “Ooo do you see anything? I’m short. Can I even see in?”
Turns out I could reach the window seal and look in without my new slut sister having to lift me up and help. (for now) I’m still very skeptical of my new sister whore friend and she has to prove herself still. So, we continued to team up and go on our journey, mostly investigating together.
I did however go on an adventure on my own. I went into a room and there was guy swinging in one of those leather hammocks. He looked so happy and comfortable. There was a line to “greet him.” I jumped in line but it was taking forever. Just as I was complaining about the wait time in my mind, a guy grabbed me and pulled my dick out, started sucking it, and then lubed it up for me. (Do I stay? There sure is more to investigate here and out there.)
Pulling my speedos back up I thank him for his generous and kind gesture but didn’t have the heart to tell him I’m undercover and only playing a whore who likes this but really appreciates good journalism.
As I walked, “Hmmm… I wonder what would happen if I put my dick there?”
I wiped my dick off in the bathroom and then went to further investigate. And just around the bend of where the rest of the comfy leather swings are located, I saw a hot muscle dude on all fours sucking the dick of a hot Latino. I went in for a closer investigation.
“Is this okay if I join?” The Latino smiled and pointed at his nipple. I went in and started to suck it for journalistic purposes. Then I started feeling the other muscle guy’s body. I thought bubbled, “Yum, I wanted to fuck him!” I put my fingers in my mouth and then asked, “Is this okay?” as I entered his hot ass hole. Oh my goodness this was a yummy butt hole.
I needed to further investigate, “Is it okay if I fuck you?” He didn’t say anything and his butthole still gripped my fingers. I didn’t know what to do. I just needed a verbal okay, a nod with his face and not just his hole. What do I do? My dick had its own ideas but I wasn’t too sure.
I took it as a no and pulled out my fingers and kissed the Latino as I left to further investigate. Just then wouldn’t you know it, my slut sister walked up. We walked a little further together and I said, “I’m going to climb up here.” And made my way up to on top of a big rock. Justas I stood tall I said, “Wanna suck my dick?”
She obliged and as I stood on a tall rock (for me) she didn’t even have to bend down. It was awesome. After a few glorious moments, I said, “Okay, lets walk.” I thought bubbled, “Hmm… that bitch sucks some good dick.”
As we made our way back to the table the other two investigators had already come to their conclusion and were ready to leave to write up their own reports. The two of us agreed to stay.
I thought bubbled, “Hmmm… this bitch is really trying to get the story before I do.”
We sat there and I don’t know how but my dick fell out of my speedo again! And she knew to do. She put it in her mouth around me right there at the table.
As she went up and down and all around, I thought bubbled, “Nice. I should send a thank you card.”
All the while keeping a good skeptical eye on that bitch as she slurped all over my dick. Just then, more movement from over yonder. “Oh great, how am I going to keep an eye on this scoop stealer, if someone else is coming to join?”
Just then I realized how wrong I was. Two sets of hands and a mouths all over my body changed my mind, “Oh, ooooh wait.. this is nice. This is real nice.”
After I came for the second time on this day…for the story… we decided it was time for us to leave. We walked out happy that we came… I mean went… I mean came. I mean went… no I mean came.
For all those other timid and repressed homos that don’t have a CCBC back where you grew up, this place is worth the trip. I will go back and I’m sure I’ll come again…and again… and again. I love Palm Springs.
Your Investigative Reporter,
The Happy Homo
PS I feel like there’s been a shift in the universe and I’m actually being welcomed into this community; even if I’m clumsy and uncertain. What a cool feeling. Only took you fuckers 4 years… just kidding. I’ve been going through it ad needed to come out the other side on my own. I really appreciate the kindness, all the new guys offering to service me and ALL MY NEEDS, and the positive attention I’ve been receiving lately. As far as the offers… I don’t see why not? I don’t think I’m used to it.. in fact it’s been a lifetime of negative shit (just like so many of you, they/them, and us(a) experience.) I’m not special and if I forget that- I’m reminded of such, but you gotta get the fuck back up when people try to knock you down. I wonder if I’ll meet/meat single men too? Maybe they’ll stick around a bit? But a couple hours is fun too. 😊
Some of us(a) don’t deserve the mean shit thrown our ways but it happens. There you are just trying to work and pay your mortgage and then a cunt…. Whether if it’s the rude ass social workers from SLCPD or a cunt at DAP- they strike. All I want to do is exist, work, and be able to pay my way, but people sometimes cunts make it hard to do that simple thing.
Fuck those people, YOU deserve to be here. YOU deserve to exist. YOU make your own space if you have to. YOU BELONG HERE. I belong here and they/them belong here too. This is still the United States of America even if they are trying to tarnish the hope, pride, and bravery she is supposed to instill, but also America still means equality for ALL OF US(A). Those racist fuckers don’t get to tell you that you don’t belong. YOU do baby girl, you do.
I have to admit, I haven’t felt cute or sexy for years. This is a great feeling to experience again, and I am going to ride this wave or whatever as long as I can. I thought this hoe hung up her heels and punch card a long time ago and I was okay with it. Then I went back to pick it up and there were weights instead of heels.
This seems like it’s going to get good. 😊 (No, I didn’t really wear heels. There’s nothing wrong with it. I just have flat feet… bilateral plantar fasciitis I had to have surgery on too. Terrible pain. Couldn’t have worn heels if I could have afforded them or desired to. Chronic pain has been part of my life for so long. I have been going through it but I feel like I’m on the other side now. I hope that it stays far far away from me. But you Sir, come closer.)
PSS
Something’s Got a Hold On Me:
PSSS
You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me:
PSSSS If people tell you don’t belong. Make your own space. If they tell you – you don’t deserve to work somewhere and harass you or are big ol’cunts to you, fuck ‘em. You build your own business. You don’t need them….you never did. And if you ever have back surgery and decide to try and get snatched…I hope you get nasty, let go of the reins a little bit, but with the right people. Trust yourself and your body.
PSX5 This story could be based in some stretched truths and maybe it’s not true at all. Who knows… I think 4 of us do. 😉
PSX6 Congrats to the Queen – Santa JLo for having the #1 movie in the world on Netflix.
Google done said,
“Jennifer Lopez’s new movie is the raunchy R-rated romantic comedy Office Romance, which debuted as the #1 movie on Netflix’s global film chart.”
Congrats. Congrats… and I love it.
PSX7 I know we are all going through it right now… this administration is putting the squeeze on all our finances and its intentional. They want you poor, dumb and controllable. But if you have any extra…would you consider donating to my high school friend’s gofund me? She battling cancer and just had some stem cells transferred from her daughter to her. What a gift, but their bills are piling up. It shouldn’t cost this much to get sick. Our system is broken. We the people have to fix it… we have to vote.
Can you donate? She’s a good human being and deserves your consideration. She was supposed to come with me to JLo but was advised by her doctors that her cancer came back and they advised her not to go out in public places. Please consider donating.
