12345 54321 2648 what do fags appreciate? 541.
Holy shit, was I absolutely terrified. The day started off pretty awesome… I sat at the pool and chilled with a friend/neighbor and had some draaanks. I took in some need sun but not the Vitamin D I was hoping for. I whore… I mean, I wore a skimpily cut speedo and I’m totally laughing at myself as I learn to be comfortable in my own naked skin.
But before that day started, I’d made a promise to myself to start pushing my own boundaries, popping the Palm Springs Cherries I have left and recently I have been. As I reflect, I realize I would have never come to that decision in this moment of time if my friendship with my old best friend here, Rhonda Rae had not come to an end. Well, if his daughter and son in law hadn’t turned out to be such lying cunts and accused me of stealing $45,000- I might still be there loving that man. *Gay Gasp* Believe me, if there was ever anything missing, them bitches would have had me arrested. Yet here I sit, a self-proclaimed non-thieving and free pansy ass happy homo! I do not need that kinda karma that stealing brings.
They really did turn out to be some “vicious” crazy and greed driven people. That’s the word Rhonda Rae would use to describe his daughter. He’d say, “I don’t know when she became so vicious and nasty.” It was probably when she began thinking that he was going to leave me something, but I know better than that. She didn’t. Truth is, he’s a grossly cheap man, I imagine even in death. (When that time actually comes.)
How did I miss all the crazy Karen signs? Had I known they’d turn out to be the same kinda white racist Karens we know from those videos- I think I would have had a different Palm Springs experience. (But maybe not, because this is turning out to be okay too.)
Racism is in their blood; so, I don’t trust them. Yes, I said in their blood, because they got it from their daddy. That’s what he learned back in his day. He told me he used to harbor negative thoughts about people who aren’t white. But heck, he grew up in a time when racism ran rampart. It’s the very same time frame the current administration is trying to bring back and we can’t let them. But who knows, maybe, just maybe -his shitty daughter and her shitty husband will change their racist views like their daddy did and one day want to fuck a Mexican too. No- I didn’t fuck him, and I wouldn’t fuck them either, ewe -barf.
If the lies hadn’t happened, I would still be hiding comfortably behind a friendship that I actually really cherished (and miss a bit). I can’t help it; I loved that little old man. I think I’m a pretty loyal person and I can’t help but love people that are constant in my life- it’s how I’m built. (If you’re good to me, it’s only natural for me to be good to you too.)
I think and feel he loved me too for most of our time together, or I wouldn’t have stayed in the friendship. He also did have titties, but they are not like my trainer’s titties (so it wasn’t a turn on). And I do like -like them older, but not 80+. (Heck, older nowadays means my own age + and for once I’m not talking about my Botox age).
With the passing of that cherished friendship, a self-discovery journey was born. There’s still so much I haven’t experienced here in Palm Springs. I have to say the journey doesn’t come extremely natural for me. Nope, it’s not easy to do it with a trauma and Catholic lenses I’ve been forced to use for most of my life. Over and over again, the trauma lens has protected me, I think God has too. I’m learning how to navigate without the trauma lens. I think I deserve that, and I think my future friends, fuck buddies, or husband(s) deserve that too. It will only make me better at my job.
So, back to the day in question. On that day, because I was swimming with a broken toe and an angry back, those things began talking loudly to me. My foot felt like it was literally on fire as I sat nursing a cocktail (instead of my injuries). My friend lay on the lounge chair next to me as we planned the poppin of my 541 Cherry.
What’s a 541 Cherry? Well 541 is a local sex club (there are a few of those out here). Dorothy, I’m definitely not in Utah anymore. Even the police chief out here encourages you to go bust your nut at 541 and not out in public spaces. Those comments are reassuring and remarkable for these tender ears. It helps ease some anxiety fo’sho, by normalizing it.
Yes, the boundaries I plotted to push would be me going to said local sex club, 541. I’ve been to two bath houses for a total of 3 times in my entire life and each of those times I was scurrrred and riddled with anxiety. It doesn’t exactly come, pun intended, naturally for me and I’d like to change that about myself. (Oh, this whole weekend was full of Palm Springs cherry poppin and another day deserves its own story.)
Those other two times I went to a sex club or a bath house was over 20 years ago. I’m kinda rusty and didn’t imagine my body was going to release pain enough to where I felt I could actually enjoy and participate in these activities. Truthfully, I’ve never been a big public sex person or group sex person. I’ve always enjoyed a person, done a few threesomes and 1 or 2 foursomes, but I’m lacking in that department; fo’shizzle. Butt, I’m going to change that.
After the bevs at the pool I went home for a nap and thought the best way to release these angry fuckin muscles would be to take a muscle relaxer. I don’t know if you’ve ever taken a muscle relaxer, but the one I take causes you to have dry kitty tongue and mouth. It’s like having a hard sandpaper- rough as fuck tongue. (Here kitty, kitty. MEOW!)
Well, you may have guessed it I woke up from that nap with kitty mouth, but I still wanted to go pop my 541 Cherry! I don’t know if subconsciously I fucked myself by taking that muscle relaxer, because sometimes I can be my own worst cock blocker. I may have concluded, that my first time experiencing these types of scenes is going to be a throw away, as I assess for safety in these scenarios. I hate that about me, but now I get to do some exposure therapy and figure this out. I can do hard things.
What do you mean “a throw away”?
Well bitch, I was just about to tell you. IMPATIENT much? Well, we may have gone to 541 but we didn’t exactly come there (yet). LOL. I was terrified and terrified and then a little more terrified than you’re thinking. OMG, I know I’m stoopid but I’m trying my best. I will get to where you are eventually or maybe never…. TBD. I want to get there with you though; I want to come there too.
There was dim dark red lighting and a hottie standing naked right under the light. I really wanted to go ask if I could suck his dick, but how? I had kitty tongue! (As I shared that story, I found out that it is good practice to ask the person you want to blow, at these places, if they’ve fucked someone already and if they’ve washed their dick. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have thought of that. I’m sure there are other rules of engagement or codes of conduct that I would be better off knowing. Would you teach me, Daddy? (And yes, they actually have a dick washing station on site. It’s not that big of an ask.)
Quick, change of subject. So, who do we want to be our next Gov? Voting has started; our ballots are here. I sure don’t trust these evil bastards in the WH. I want to make sure my vote counts. Don’t you?
I’ve been watching our people’s comments in the chats. Some are saying they may wait until the last minute or until there is a clear front runner to vote for and then mail in their ballot. BUUUTT I also don’t trust this jack ass leading the Post Office – he’s likely to pull some shit on us(a). We need to make sure our votes are counted. They are rigging the election in plain sight.
At times I let myself spiral upwards and downwards (I prefer up), but I began to think about how these traitors to the Constitution and our freedoms are going to try and guarantee that they can steal this election. They are not to be fuckin trusted! You know that and I know that. They are planning on stealing our country and rigging it, so we never have a say, a voice or rights again.
And if I learned anything today, it’s that spin class fuckin sucks and I’m a pussy. I also learned that YOU older mother fuckers run circles around me and probably most people my Botox age. YOU mother fuckers are strong! I don’t think stealing your rights is going to be easy.
And if you need a reminder BEEEOOCH- YOU are stronger than you think too and WE (the Peeps) are way stronger together than WE (the Peeps) realize. You faggots are stronger than I’ve ever known and I love it. The message I take from spin class is that my legs hurt the next day, and it really does “get better” as we get older. That’s something sacred and should be protected.
We homos age and we look better, get stronger, more muscly, hotter, and gain more confidence the older we get. I really look at all of you and think, holy shit this country is not going to be so easy to overthrow. Even us(a) faggots are stronger than they realize and some of us(a), like me are Happy Homos learning how to find my own strength. I’m also looking to find EVEN more happy than we’ve ever known or been allowed to know. (I still think ya’ll should get a gun and learn how to use it. Because it doesn’t look like they are going to stop rigging shit and that means our certain death, imprisonment or even slavery. Nope, that’s not dramatic- that’s the truth and you know it and I know it. It’s the death of democracy, death of our planet and the death of decency, women’s and minority rights to vote, and the end of queer rights.
I found myself asking why everyone is freaking out so much in those chats about who to cast their vote for Gov. It sounded like some of us(a) might not understand this is only the Primary and there is still the General Election this Nov. Reviewing those comments, it appears many of you are backing Becerra and also supporting Steyer. My opinion is if those are the two favorite candidates for the us gays and homos, well as long as we vote between those two, we will end up with someone who can beat any of the Republican candidates. Don’t you think?
Here’s an older score card if it helps you decide who actually supports our community- including our trans fam. They don’t get left behind. You can make up your own mind about who to vote for, but stop voting for people who would hurt you or your neighbors.
I also encourage you to get stronger wherever you are….just in case some shit really does happen. But it doesn’t take muscles to fight back. You know that and I know that. Sometimes all you need is a 6-inch stiletto. I also know I’ve mentioned my new baby muscles before…but I really am shocked to see them. They are really budding and I’m even noticing it and it’s not always the easiest for me to notice good things about myself. The world does crazy things to us(a)- to me too. Sometimes I realize just how blurred my vision of myself really is. Most of us(a) don’t get through this life unscathed. At least I have not.
It also feels like I’m not the only one noticing my baby muscles and hard work, and I appreciate it. I got hit on 3 times in one day this week; it was awesome. Now I have to start saying yes and stop being such a pussy. I’m not going to meet/meat anyone and develop fuck buddies if I don’t leave the hummingbirds, puppies and the safety of my own home.
But just to be clear, I cannot fuck current clients. I worked too hard to get here, I don’t want to risk losing everything I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to get (and it’s not that much compared to so many- but it’s All I Have.). But I can eventually fuck with past clients – after a certain period of time. LOL
But I need to put down the Trauma Lens and start seeing things as they really are. I long to use my “Whore Lens” moving forward. It’s hard to hang up the “Trauma Lens”, but I need to for a bit. I’ll keep it close, because it’s become comfortable, and I know it so well. But I wanna try these other ones out, if I can. I’m patient, and I’ll find a way if there is one.
One thought that goes through my mind…is if I can actually do the work and get real results that I can actually see, and that you can see, I’m gonna keep going. I just hope my own body doesn’t betray me again, I know pain at my age is inevitable, but not like it was for most of my life. That was misery, that felt like punishment.
I’ve decided I’m gonna do it as long and hard as I can; if I can. The other great realization is… if I can eventually get hot or even really muscly and hot- hot, I might be able to actually fuck some of these hot Daddies out here. I literally am in hog heaven for my Erotic Map (my own therapist points it out to me). *oink piggy oink*
Getting stronger, preparing for the worst, and planning for the best is important right now. Our fuckin country is literally at stake. Our lives and those of our queer family members are on the line. The thing is if WE lose this election, they will keep robbing us(a) blind, and destroying everything we’ve ever known. Remember when people said, ‘if they come for our civil rights- you just let them try!” Well, the time is now and they didn’t just try, they did. They stole the voices of so many black people, now what?
I don’t want to scare bitches but this is serious shit WE are in. Whether WE like each other or not, WE are in this together. I recently watched an adorable Netflix cartoon, “Swapped”. It’s about trust and being careful where you place trust and who you let intoyour friendship circle(s). The takeaway from the adorable creatures therein, is when WE swim as ONE, I mean when WE move as ONE, WE can accomplish shit we couldn’t ever have imagined. I hope WE always do that in the name of love, equality, freedom and protecting our planet from the worst of us(a). This evil has to be stopped; it won’t stop on its own. It must be cast out like the Bible says- in the name of what’s Good. (You know by now I bring Jesus into everything. Even into story about my first sex club experience in PS. Our relationship is deep. How deep do you go?)
Looksie, I’m not out to hurt anyone, but I do want to know what the fuck do we do now that they attacked voting rights and are gerrymandering the country in favor of White Supremacy and Nazis? Hypothetically speaking, when is the right time to hurt people who are destroying your country? And hypothetically, is there really ever a right time? When do WE stand up physically to stop the overthrowing of our once great country? And WE can’t lose her to child fucking Nazis! Like EWE. (No, I’m not going to do anything, it’s just a question. When? When? When?) (I’ve got free speech still- I’m going to practice my American rights, while this is still the USA.)
So, we all need to act as one moving forward. But in the meantimes- I am excited to make some deeper connections now that I’m physically ready (at least I think I am) and hopefully some great friendships will come of it. What’s that ol’ saying? “Friends that come together…. Come together”. I mean we are going to be in this town with each other for maybe the rest of our lives. How do WE be kind to each other when the rest of the world pokes at us(a) and makes us(a) angry? We shouldn’t take it out on each other, unless in healthy ways, like 541. I can’t imagine that it was easy for most of us(a) to get here. It wasn’t for me. We’ve all got baggage. But mine is heavy and I’d much rather focus on how to save our democracy, lay down that baggage and learn to enjoy the freedoms I have here, while WE have them.
You don’t have to be perfect to be loved, I’m learning that. And perfect people don’t have to be mean. I’m so far from perfect, admittingly for that reason it’s hard to let loose. Working on it though- God bless the United States of America, Our Democracy, and please protect all the faggots and all queers across our nation. Our nation still has promise, she ain’t dead yet, but she’s dying. They are trying to kill her. (I know aint – aint a word- you judgy bitch.)
One thing that is proving to be self-evident at this time- this pos greedy and corrupt administration has united the country, but not in the way they’d want. Today, I was putting gas in my car and strangers were talking shit about this president without any fear at the pumps. They were speaking candidly, without even asking what side of the aisle the other was on. All REGULAR Americans are feeling this administration and big oil steal the money out of everyone’s pockets. All Americans (who are not billionaires) are really suffering.
Today gas cost me about $80. That’s crazy- up almost $30. Everything is up under this greedy corrupt administration. They long to bankrupt all of us(a) and steal the land right from under us(a), yet again. Everyone that was filling up their cars was literally talking shit about him. That’s how I know they’ve unified us(a). We are all suffering under this administration. I hung up the gas nozzle and hollered, “Fuck TRUMP!” The woman next to me nodded and did finger guns in the air mouthing, “YEA! YEA!”
These billionaires are going to destroy our planet. Check out what they are doing in Utah, they are building a data center without the consent or approval of Utah citizens. (If you’ve been watching the latest season of Hacks, they mention something like it in episode 7 – I think it was 7.). GREAT WRITING- I love Hacks.
In Utah, the Republican Box Elder Commissioners and Gov ignored the will of the people and chose profit and greed over Utah citizens. Their actions will hurt not just every Utah citizen, but all the native animal life there and will devastate Utah’s grasslands. Animals will die… people will die. Utah’s water, our valuable resource will be gone. There is no need for this data center; don’t believe what they say. Our planet and YOUR lives are worth fighting for. Start seeing things as they really are and those who oppress us(a) for who they really are.
Here’s to popping more of Palm Springs Cherries and yes I bought a membership. The door people were so kind and understanding. I felt welcomed and my fears were lightly eased by one of them. YEA!!!!!
Finger guns in the air, “Pew -Pew- Pew.”
Looking Forward to My Second Time w/No Kitty Tongue,
The Happy Homo
PS Lady Gaga When the Saints Go Marching In.
PSS Miley Cirus is speaking to me
PSSS and you know my Queen always speaks to me.
PSSSS Norah Jones America, America I gave My Best to You.
PX5 I’ll be a good friend to you, if you are a good friend to me. I’m pretty loyal too. Look I stayed best friends with a really selfish – self centered bitch for most of my adult life. It took a long time for me to realize I needed to leave that friendship. And what sucks is I’ll probably be back when she gets her shit together. I loved that dumb bitch, but she got too ick. I seem to good at finding the ick, what else is out there? Asking for a friend…
PSX6 I may not trust these corrupt republicans in charge of our country, the very same ones who sold their souls for dollars, ewe. But you know who I do trust and has my vote? Abel Chavez for the 48th Congressional District. He went door knocking down here. Yup, he went along with his team to meet our community. My barber said he gave him, “Obama vibes.” Besides, I think the young need to step up their pussies and participate in the election process, including running for office. They have to live here long after we are gone. It literally is in their best interest to take care of all of us(a) and our environment. Let those old racist bastards die out and let love and equality reign. And look he’s cute and the videos and pics are of young beautiful family. https://www.abelchavezforcongress.com/
