STD? Whaaat? Ewe to STDS.
The acronym “STD” has grown to have two meanings in the last decade. On one hand we’ve got- sexually transmitted disease(s) and the other more disturbing side we have, “Stop the donald”. Both diseases are not welcomed by most sane Americans, and it really does suck to wake up in the morning with either one in your life. With that being said, I do have something worthy of reporting, no I didn’t catch an STD (again) (yet). But here’s to hoping that if/when I do, he was well worth the morning after pill, shot in the ass and peeing razor blades. (Don’t act like I’m the only one who’s ever had one, just more honest about it.)
What I was referring to is I finally popped my Palm Springs Cherry (in a couple different ways). The first one worthy of mention is —– I finally went to one of the big pool party events, this one was hosted by the new Eagle Club, opening later this year. The pool party was during the day, and it was followed by a jock strap/gear dance party in the evening. I’m so lucky to live here with my people.
I realize I’m not the only one talking about STDs lately. Everyone wants to stop the donald as it is a disgusting disease, but I’m actually referencing the other STDs. Lately, online (in various desert forums) I’ve seen a group of hotties doing some PSAs about STDs and messages about playing safe(r) and just normalizing these conversations is amazing. It makes me happy to see it.
We need to normalize these types of conversations because STDs are not usually life threatening anymore and talking about sexually transmitted diseases shouldn’t be taboo. On the other hand, if we don’t stop the donald disease all of our lives at risk; queer people, people of color, and the lives of women are literally at stake. He’s disgusting and I’d much rather pee razor blades.
I’m sure Palm Springs is ranked highly for STD (the s = sexually transmitted of course). Most of us(a) aren’t fans of the other disease. But can you blame us(a)? Palm Springs has some yummy older gents that I find myself daydreaming about. (Only the 40+ ones for me.)
At the pool party I met a couple who were kind to let this boot wearing LWB (Little Whiny Bitch) sit on their coveted lounge chairs with them. They arrived 30 minutes before the event even opened to be sure to get a seat. The event could have used more seating for those of us(a) with boots, but nonetheless it was awesome! (Yes, I said a boot. I dropped a 45-pound weight on my toe after being sleep deprived from worrying about an old friend that was in the hospital. I broke a toe in a couple spots and was supposed to be wearing a boot until next week, but it caused more back problems. I’m not trying to do back pain again, so I took the fucker off. I pick foot pain over back pain any day.)
Geesh, I get off on a tangent. So, I was talking to this couple, one just happened to have been from Utah and was a therapist. What a fuckin co-wink-a-dink! I took that as a sign from the universe that I was in the right place at that moment and I was supposed to be staring at everyone’s junks (fronts and backs).
We were chatting with booze in our bloodstream and they brought up STDs. I divulged about my HIV status openly saying I was positive (and not just my attitude). Then they asked about other STDs and I jokingly said, “Sure, I’ve had ‘em all.” I don’t know if they believed me, because I haven’t had them all and I don’t want to. The ones I experienced were terrible enough and are long gone, except for the everlasting present from an x-bf, the HIV. But it just felt like why make anyone around us(a) feel bad about something they may have had or were currently experiencing. It’s not like most people actively try to contract STDs or STIs anyhow. I wasn’t looking to get laid in that moment and why perpetuate shame about something people don’t necessarily have a choice or control over?
I also realize that I might get my STD dance card filled up here when I’m ready to finally take the plunge again, but I really don’t want it to be. But statistically speaking… these homos like to FUUUUUCK! So, it’s more likely than not for the fuckin that I like to do. I just think normalizing those conversations with anyone and everyone, people you hook up with, friends (so you’re not alone), and partners (if needed). Catching something is not the end of the world… just get treatment. (Or get on preventative medicines so you don’t end up with HIV – like a big chunk of us.)
(STD Dance Card meaning – Sexually Transmitted Disease. I wanted to clarify, as to not get confused with the other. I’m not a 12-year-old child and I don’t want to be in one either. I’m not a republican or compromised by the Epstein files.)
I guess you gotta be open to chance- karma or luck if you wanna fuck and don’t take preventative actions as something infectious could happen if you’re hooking up, right? It’s part of life (gay, bi and straight) and the shame and stigma associated with contracting something is relevant no matter where you live or how you identify. I get it, some of you are super-hot and I eventually wanna fuck with some of yall – so there’s a risk. I also dig older white men, and white people seem extra murdery, greedy, and oppressive these days, so there’s also a risk there too.
I’ll get back to the pool party in a second. I want to bring up the gear/fetish/jock strap party that happened later that night. I struggled with the decision to go to the second part of their event… cause I was in a fuckin boot. No one wants to fuck someone in a boot or see someone in their underwear and a boot.
I walked in the gate and checked some clothes. I kept on my shorts; one reason is because I’m not sure if I feel like I’m jock strap material yet- YET. I’m working on that too. I hobbled in and onto the dance floor. It was dark, the music was bumping and it was packed with a whole bunch of almost naked hotties.
I hobbled into the middle of the packed dance floor, and I enjoyed the hot sweaty men rubbing up against me (that’s how packed it was). I closed my eyes for a second so I could take in the moment and just enjoy it. I thought, “FUUUUCK yes! This is sooo cool.”
I wanted to jump around and dance but was bound by the bitch of a boot. I sat there for a few minutes and realized it’s smarter to leave before I break something else or have some innocent person trip over my huge boot. I smiled like a dirty little bastard and left while I was ahead. But it was cool to see and be in the middle of it, if even for just a minute.
Now back to the pool party (earlier that day). I went with my trainer (who was too cool to stay more than 20 minutes). But before he left, was I ever delighted to see more of him. I already thought he was a very attractive man and mostly nice- heck, no one’s perfect. Or could he be? Because when he took off his shirt them gorgeous nipples and chesticles were just asking to be sucked, sucked, licked, sucked and played with. Everyone else may know his titties or each others like that, but I’m still getting to know all of you. I didn’t know.
First, I should have never looked at dem titties. I hope that he doesn’t get mad for me talking about his hotness. If anything, it should increase his clientele and his rates for service(s); for other people, not me. Why should it increase? Because of dem titties!
I told him that I wasn’t expecting him to have titties (like that). I mean, he is a mammal and humans… well they do have titties and nips, but his are top notch, top of the line golden titties The kind that make your dick drizzle a little bit.
Thought be gone…. Cast it out… Maybe it can come back at the end of the year when I’ve made a lot of progress with my own titties. Getting SNATCHED! (with his help). But my first step is to wake the fuck up, put my tongue back in my mouth, wipe the drips from lips and dick, and stop acting like an idiot. Stop being an annoying puppy dog, he’s just a very sexy trainer. There are so many out here. 😊
Being bossed around by a hot white guy has seemed to be paying off. But what if he ends up feeling repelled or offended by my obvious puppy eyes? I’m sure he gets it from all of his clients, I just wasn’t planning on being one of them.
Being at that pool party, the gear party, being blinded by them golden titties and everyone else’s junk(s) made me realize that I might actually get a second chance to live my best gay life again. I thought I was over the hill and over the point of anyone finding me attractive, and I didn’t feel attractive either. I’ve been chained up by back pain and think I might have finally broken said chains. (And I’ve been seeing two therapists, one of which practices EMDR. Its proving effective in helping me with that other thing that was holding me back. More to come later. I know I am responsible to heal my own trauma and not just help others with theirs. I also have to do the work.)
I now feel like that’s all changing by investing in my own health (with the help of hot as fuck trainer) now that my body is letting me. I’m an even happier homo realizing that at the age of 48 (Botox Age= 35), I just might get that second chance to live my gay life happier, bigger, safer, with more of a stable income and with a roof over my head. I think its starting…. Well after I get this boot off anyway.
Could you imagine being that hot? (=crush) I bet he deals with guys who get blinded by them titties on a constant basis. I just didn’t see them initially, in fact when I hired him- I thought I was hiring the other white guy. What a great mistake to make and I have new baby arm muscles and new vein in my baby arm muscle that think so. I just hope I don’t creep him out too much, and if I didn’t before, what about after reading this? HAAA! (Deepens voice- Bro, I’m good. I’ll be good. I promise.)
What if I had realized he was that hot initially? Would I have deepened my voice? Would I have tried to butch it up? Would I have tried to give him knuckles after each work out? Would I have even been myself?
Right feelings, wrong person. I’m a therapist and I know there is nothing wrong with feelings. And there’s nothing wrong with a harmless crush, but the next crush I sure hope isn’t a freakin 10. I need to bring it down to reality. I can’t keep a 10 happy, could I? Maybe a 6 to an 8, sure. I’d be happy with an 8 but will gladly settle for a 6 with a job. But that doesn’t change the fact that I sure would love to fuck some 10s out here.
Had I known those titties were so hypnotic I would have had a little common sense and not looked. In fact, I probably wouldn’t have taken the second or third look. Fine, I’m a perv. I’m glad I did. Fuck it, I would have looked again, and again, and again and will again- given the chance. It was worth it. Hot.
I hate to admit it, but I think I may have made it weird. Boo, me. Here’s to me doing better in the future. *wipes mouth* And who knows maybe the pool party wasn’t just a fluke. In fact, something else really cool happened there. I had a little bit of an epiphany or an awakening and not just in my pants cause of the titties.
After titties left and I was chilling with the couple (who were kind enough to let me join them on their chairs), guys were coming around and chattin with us. I was talking with them, the couple were talking with them, and I eventually got the chance to give a couple of hotties the good ol’ Palm Springs Handshake.
I realize that sometimes I don’t use the right lens to look at the world in front of me. After about an hour with me, I think the couple realized that too as one of them motioned for me to come closer so he could whisper something in my ear. I leaned in and he said, “You know they are all over here for you, don’t you?” It was like I was being slapped in the face with them titties again and I did the same double and triple take at his face and back at the group of guys as that statement sunk into my tiny Utah brain.
Whaaat? Huh? Oh my good gay gods. I was clueless and literally was more focused on trying to make a good impression on these guys so they’d let me stay sitting with them, because of the fuckin boot! I had no idea. It literally had not dawn on me until that moment. HOLY shit!
Maybe there really are some people who find me desirable. Maybe my milkshake really can bring a couple of guys to yard (like it just had). I didn’t think I could anymore, I really thought that ship had sailed away from me a long time ago. Palm Springs is a second chance at a lot of things for me and maybe you too. I am going to try to find and use the right lens to look out of as I grow old with all of you here; that’s gonna be fun (I hope).
Although I’m finding it fun and weird to have a crush, it’s also kind of nice. My insides and my penis have not yet died. My ship is right here in my motha fuckin pants. Why won’t I let it sail? I also hope that I get so many more crushes out here too. There are so many baby crushes happening as I type this, from people at the gym to people at the pool; and I’m so happy about it.
Even the pansy gay guys are still just stupid GUYS after all when it comes to a nice set of ta’tas. Even I get blinded and drippy over a good set of knockers. Who knew?
Knock -knock
Whose there?
Titties
Titties who?
Titties…titties…titties. Mmm….titties.
I’m so glad to be here. Cheers to second chances.
Them Titties Tho,
The Stupid Happy Puppy Eyed Homo
PS *clears throat* I can’t wait to lust over more of you. I can’t wait to meat, fuck so many of you in my gay future. I’m not as good at this as other people anymore, but I’ll clumsily fumble my way into a butthole or two and vice versa. I just know it will happen. I’m working on it and my penis is insistent. Loud even. (Other notable crushes the funny guy with them jokes. I love a good laugh.) (Since writing this a couple weeks ago I was able to begin that journey too. Yay, more of that but not just a quicky. I’d like a bit more time, but quicky is fine too. Now just need a couple regulars.)
PSS Pretty shitty what the Supreme Court did by stealing the voices of minority voters across our once great nation. They just stole America from the people. Here are some good memes of the day. Although I didn’t create them, I shared them.
Hopefully Dems will get a spine and keep it. Do the right thing and fight for our country and ALL of our citizens (even the brown and black ones). 52-0 map!!!! 8-0 and 17-0 map needed!!!! Do it!!!
PSSS Did you see the new Gaga and Doechii video? YOU Should.
PSSSS I just downloaded all of Kasey Musgraves albums after she asked a mariachi band of brothers (who had been wrongfully detained by ICE) to perform with her in TX. (It can take the space left by all the Carrie Underwood music I deleted after she wore her maga proudly.)
PSX5 Yay, J to the LO has a new movie coming out. Can’t fn wait. Looove me some J to the LO- hello.
