First things first- GET THE FUCK UP AND GO VOTE! In person early voting starts today! Our lives, freedoms, environment, rights and democracy are literally on the motha’ fuckin line. The lives of elderly, marginalized, disabled, and the poor are all on the ballot. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE TO NOT PARTICIPATE! VOTE for your, our, and they/their best interest(s) and stop supporting Nazi racist republicans!!! At this point they are complicit in the overthrow and destruction of our government.
STOP FUCKIN VOTING FOR THEM JUST CAUSE YOU HATE A QUEER/MINORITIES/JEWS/TRANS PEOPLE. Stop putting their noose around your own chi-necks. (That’s where you have a Mitch Mconnel chin and neck that blends together. A chineck.)
All active registered voters will automatically receive a vote-by-mail ballot for the June 2, 2026, Primary Election. Ballots returned by mail must be postmarked by June 2, 2026; ballots returned at a secure ballot drop box must be deposited by 8:00 p.m. on June 2, 2026. One or more early voting locations will be available in all counties for at least ten days prior to Election Day. Voting locations will offer voter registration, replacement ballots, accessible voting machines, and language assistance.
Definition of services available:
- Early Voting: A voter may pick up and/or vote a vote-by-mail ballot at this location.
- Same Day Voter Registration: Voters can conditionally register and vote after the 15-day voter registration deadline at this location. For more information please go to Same Day Voter Registration
- Ballot Drop-Off: A secured box where vote-by-mail ballots may be dropped off.
Onward and upward, sometimes I realize I’m so comfortable with the broken, because I’m broken. I’m so comfortable with the wounded, because I’m wounded. I’m also comfortable being alone because the feedback isn’t always positive from others. But hey, gay heeey- I am healing and this year is turning out to be my best Palm Springs year yet. Sometimes it takes me a minute for that lightbulb to go off in my head but when it does I act.
“Stop surrounding yourself with people who tell you about everything you’re not and surround yourself with people who like you exactly how you are.” No I don’t need to be praised all the time, but I also don’t need to be put down all the time either. There is a world that does that, I don’t need to surround myself with people who feign love, yet do nothing but the same.
Recently, I’m reminded my face is not pleasant…. At least not for everybody. LOL, I know.. I know what some of you are thinking… “Ooo she’s just an attention whore.” No, that’s not the purpose of this blog. It however does give me a chance to share with you my brokenness, my journey, and I get to combat the negative narrative that seems to shadow me throughout this life. I now get the chance to share my side of the story.
Yes, it seems to be a constant theme in my life- people love to share their disapproval of me in many ways. Utah is soooo good at it. They do it subtly and then here’s people who are not always so subtle.
Okay, sure my body is not pleasant, at least not for everyone- cool I get that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. The color of my skin, my voice, my mannerisms, my heart, how deep I feel is not always for everyone. That’s okay too- I’m not proposing. But I do have to say this morning, when I looked in the mirror I think I can see myself and not the body dysmorphia that so many gay men struggle with, but the real me.
I hate to say it because there is always someone so nearby ready to kneecap someone that’s feeling good about themselves. But I feel comfortable without my shirt on- like comfortable for the first time in my life. I have these little baby muscles that are sprouting and I actually can see them and so does the lady at the gas station where I get my lottery tickets every month. I feel like I’m not ugly… I feel like I’m actually pleasant to look at… dare I say it I look better than I ever have in my whole life. Has this 5 or 6 made it to a 7?
To be honest, it’s not just recently that people share their negative views about me, I’ve dealt with that my whole life. I feel like I used to be someone so different than who I’ve evolved into. I’m not sure I like the old me and I am not happy with the current me- yet. I’m a fuckin work in progress and this is some great progress. (Yet, I know there’s someone lurking ready to knock me down a peg when the opportunity arises. That’s not new.)
I think moving here, although scary and necessary for so many reasons, was not something I wanted to do (at least not yet). Quickly I realized just how fuckin cunty our community can be. But who am I kidding, I’ve that cunt in my younger years- just like so many of you may be today (whether you are a young or old reader). Do we ever outgrow the cunty? Does the world ever let us(a) outgrow the cunty? I’ve always known we queers eat our own and I’m not just talking about asses and/or swallowing loads; you know exactly what I mean. I’m talking about – In the meantimes.
Some of us(a) get so many meantimes in our lives, that those are the voices that stick. Those are the voices that play on repeat loudly in our heads and ring in our ears. Eventually I believed them. “You’re fat.” “You’re ugly.” “You’re not enough and you never will be.” “You just do things for attention.” “You don’t deserve to be here.” “You’re too short.” “Your dick isn’t big enough.” “You’re too soft.” “You’re too poor.” “Your too fem.” “I don’t fuck Mexicans.” “You’re not Mexican enough.” “You don’t deserve your success.” “You don’t deserve happiness.” “You don’t deserve love.” “Too pretty.” “Not pretty enough.” “I hate your voice.” “I hate your hair.” “You don’t deserve to be in this class.” “You don’t deserve this job.” “You talk too much.” “You post too much.” “You keep too many secrets.”
Those are just some of the things I’ve heard from other people and then there are the things that I tell myself. Sometimes that is so much worse and then there’s the glimmers I give myself. Its the kind and loving words I speak in my mind’s eye as I look in the mirror at the reflection staring back. I look close to try to figure out what they hate so much. “What am I doing wrong?” I simply tell myself, “Fuck that bitch. You’re beautiful just as you are.” Or “Fuck that cunt. You deserve happiness just like er’one else.” “You deserve every opportunity that ugly fat white cracker does.” “Darkness hates your light….they don’t know you.” “Maybe you won’t find your one person. But you can be your own person.” “You are okay- just as you are.” “You are loveable and you exude love.”
There were so many times that I had to defend myself in this lifetime because no one else does. And some of those times (like in my late teens early 20s) I use to seek out the fight with the blatant cunts of the world. I’d stand up to them and match their energy, if not top it. That has all but stopped … another story for another time.
It stopped so I could go to school and change my fucking life into something that made me able to be qualified to be in the rooms I wanted to work in. I wanted to feel differently than the dreadful, “I don’t want to be here anymore.” I wanted a home. I wanted a bed I deserved. I wanted food in my fridge or to be able to go out to eat every once in a while. I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted just a little bit more and any little bit more would be way more than I’d ever had but not more than I deserved.
I was watching the Kylie Manogue documentary the other day on Netflix and she spoke on why people were so bold during her own meantimes of her life. She said that if they could break her down, she wasn’t a threat. Well, I sure do have a life time of people quick to break me down, but here’s the thing I’m not a threat to anyone…. unless you are a threat to me. Why would you think a chubby brown broken gay guy with curly hair, trying to find joy in the smallest of things, could be a threat to you? Isn’t there enough for all of us(a)?
So, early on in life, I’ve learned some things about myself. I hate it when people touch my face… especially if its not tenderly. I love to be touched just as much as the next gay guy. I crave your touch. If you aren’t sure if you can touch my face tenderly, or if it’s welcomed, it’s best to ask. But its not always tenderly, sometimes people try to wipe the happy right off my face with their own hands. More times than likely, at least back then, they’d get the response they deserved.
I’ve heard so many times…lol… just how slapable my face is. No, I’m not exaggerating…. And it’s too bad I’m not. I’d prefer you not try it … I wouldn’t do that to you. I’d never try to take your happiness away from your face… and your face is the prettiest place to display it. In fact, I’d prefer to see your happiness right there beaming from your lips and eyes. It strangely (or not so strangely) makes me feel safe. I love feeling safe.
I just want to be happy. Don’t you? Why do some of them refuse to let me? Why won’t some let you? Why won’t my own body let me? We deserve to be happy. If you don’t vote you are going to let these Nazis in charge take away your happiness and safety. ?SOOO Fn Vote.
Here’s a couple of Palm Springs Slapable stories. I find some humor in it… I learned early in life, if you can’t laugh at yourself its going to hurt more when others do it. I also learned from my long-lost drag queen motha. (No, I don’t do drag. I just always say I was raised by drag queens because those were some formative years of my life. There was a lot of encouragement… a lot of cocaine …but also a lot of encouragement too.)
“Don’t worry when they are talking about you. Worry when they stop talking about you.” – Shenika Christie.
Get Out the Vote,
The Happy Homo
PS VOTE
PSS VOTE VOTE
PSSS VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE
PSSSS Part II of III https://thehappyhomo.blog/seeing-myself-vs-get-out-the-vote-vs-slapable-face-part-i-of-iii-2/
PSX5 Part III of III (draft in progress)
PSX6 I love you Palm Springs
PSX7 Happy 100th Birthday to Marilyn Monroe. (June 1)
