Well shit on a dick….  Can you fucking believe how shitty these crazy, corrupt times we’re living through have become? These right wing- allegedly Christian sobs have ruined everything and still have the nerve to judge us(a) homos?

Looksie, being queer doesn’t put us at the back of the damn line for dignity, freedom, healthcare, happiness, or anything else. You, they/them, me, and all of us(a) deserve the same seat at the American table. We can’t let them destroy the table!

And spare me the hypocrisy. If you’re going to spend your days clutching your pearls over queer people fucking and not child molesters and child murderers, maybe stop being so damn interested in what consenting adult queer people are doing after dark or during the day. Correct your priorities!

Just because we LOVE to take it up the butt and/or give it in said arse, doesn’t make them more worthy of anything.   Fuck them pedos. Like, I literally think you could fuck them if you find them at any Republican Convention. Because every city they go to, Grindr just happens to be flooded and crashes. The irony is killing those still in the closet. Butt why would you want to share your body with the same people who would take away your rights at life, liberty and your pursuit of happiness?  (If we let them).  They are getting their rocks off too.

 They literally just okayed people who fuck animals to join the FBI. WTF? But two hot guys that are in love with each other or that just met at the grocery store are gross? Get the fuck outta here with that mess! 

I’ve openly admitted ova and ova again that it’s been a while since I’ve been in the dating scene. I was broken in a few different ways, but now I’m free of it. I hope for good.  Believe me when I say, it’s nice to be back up and diving on and into some of you. Getting my dick wet and getting pounded has been more fun than I remember. 

For someone with daddy issues, I am not sure that being surrounded by all these hot daddies is smart… or is it? I’m dusting off the cobwebs and putting on my slutty shorts (that I may happily add are now a bit too big for me). My trainer and I have been kicking my butt and I’ve been getting snatched at the gym.  I’ve changed a lot of what goes into my mouth and traded French fries and chocolate for his hard cock.

Now I admit, I don’t feel snatched yet, but I can tell I’m getting closer and closer to snatched by other people’s reactions. People are way nicer, flirtier, and wanna fuck me way more than they did 20+ lbs ago.  I even see it in the faces of my friends. They  look and gaze a little more than before and at different parts of me. *Heller, my eyes are down here.* *Points to butt hole*

I wonder what it’s actually going to feel like if I finally get “snatched.” Will there be some magical moment of accomplishment? Will I suddenly feel more confident? Or will I simply be a little less self-conscious than I was before? Who the hell knows?

What I do know is that I don’t want to wait until some imaginary finish line to enjoy my life. Maybe I’ll reach my goal, maybe I won’t. Either way, I get to enjoy today while still working toward a better tomorrow.

My Mexican American Mommy FROM TEXAS raised me believing I could do just about anything if I put my mind and my heart into it. What about my mind, heart, dick and butt into it?   So, Mommy, we’re putting that theory to the test.

I’ve officially given myself until the end of the year to get me some dang abs. And I swear I can almost see something happening down there. Are those abs? Is that a shadow? Is that just a weirdly shaped fat roll?  Did I accidentally stumble under some flattering lighting?

I DON’T KNOW. But it’s way better than it’s ever been (like ever) and I don’t think there is any going back at this point. At least if I can help it – and my body continues to cooperate. I don’t want to go backwards.

I digress, the real subject in today’s blog post is brought to you by the letter P… for Poop  and S for Shit  (PS below).  

Like, everybody poops, right??? Is poop a taboo subject? I can hear the gay gasps now as pearls are clutched,  “Did he say poop?” 

Why yes, I did- you Pearl Clutching Homo! I mean, if that obese corrupt piece of shit of a president can literally shit his diaper on television next to world leaders, I think gays can talk openly about poop.

Yes, today’s shitty president can be called shitty for so many reasons, but it’s the “shits his diaper er’day” part I’m highlighting here.  Looksie, I know people have accidents… tummy aches happen.  But just like everything else – he can’t control himself. He’s a disgusting garbage human being.  He’s unworthy of the job of President; but worthy of the orders Putin has given him to destroy the USA.   He’s literally destroying our country on purpose! All while shitting himself and sleeping through every meeting because he don’t give a fuck about YOU or ANY OF US(A).  He’s a lying sack of shit!

Gay guys really shouldn’t be afraid to talk about poop, are we?  Again, everybody poops. It’s one of the great equalizers of humanity.  We are all gross but shouldn’t be afraid of poo. 

And if we can talk about shit, then we sure as hell shouldn’t be afraid to call out political bullshit when we see it.

Shit shouldn’t scare us(a). And we shouldn’t be afraid of a lying sack of shit.   We literally eat, fuck, and fill butt holes with spooge for fun. And BTW I’ve been having soo much fun lately.  

Butt… pun intended, I don’t think we should have a president who can’t control his bowels, mouth, rage, grabby greedy hands, or his corruption. Especially, when bottoms can literally show up with a clean hole, get pounded for hours and not a trace of poop to be found; professionals. That fat fuck is not a professional and I can’t believe that American children are stuck watching him destroy and dismantle our nation.

I can’t believe he hasn’t been stopped. He’s an enemy of our country, freedom, decency and democracy.   He’s evil. We all know it.

Something strange is happening in my life: while the world around me feels heavier, my own life is finally getting lighter. 

I’m having my best Palm Springs year yet. Hell, I might be having one of the best years of my life. I’m more comfortable in my brown skin, more comfortable calling California home, and when I look in the mirror, I’m finally starting to like the guy looking back.

I realize that experiencing happiness is in vast contrast to what most Americans are experiencing right now.  As good things are happening to me (finally), our nation is dying and our citizens are filled with fear while they struggle to meet their basic needs. 

This petulant man baby in a shitty diaper has put our planet on a path to extinction. I’m genuinely terrified by the direction we’re heading. Greed and gluttony seem to have become governing principles.

We all breathe the same air. We all depend on clean water. And the animals on the land, in the air, and in the sea don’t get a vote when shitty greedy humans decide their habitats are expendable. That’s the part that scares the shit out of me (but not to the point I need a fuckin diaper).

When protections for our air, water, forests, climate, and wildlife are weakened in the name of profit, we’re gambling with things that money cannot simply fix. There are consequences to treating this planet like an unlimited resource instead of the only home humanity has.

 Why is no one stopping him? Can we make it to November and change course through the ballot box? Can we really make it to November? My gay Christian ass is praying for some sort of intervention. (Devine or other worldly helpers are so welcome.) I’m tired of his shit.

As our American world turns to shit around all of us(a) one thought prevails.  We the Peeps need to do something to salvage what we can, what matters, because no one is coming to save us(a). It’s up to you!

Fuck this racist child diddler nincompoop!

There is a strange, shared sadness among so many Americans right now, people watching what is happening and wondering what will be left when all of this is over. I love this country, which is precisely why watching institutions, freedoms, and ideals I care about be destroyed hurts so damn much. Fuck them for doing this to the United States of America.

I’m tired of  experiencing this shared grief as red-blooded Americans from coast to coast mourn and grieve as a nation and our symbols of freedom are attacked from within and destroyed. (i.e. The Kennedy Center)

Even in the mist of that grief, I keep discovering joy….queer joy.  I’m finally being given an opportunity at queer happiness, and you bet…a whole bunch of really good sex.  And now that I see that it is possible for me, I’m going to leap and lunge toward it, until I get it or get it right. 

And right now, I must admit I feel a little out of my element.  I could really use some dating advice. I’m a little rusty, okay?

So, when you start dating someone, I assume you also avoid showing them imperfections, like you are a real human being too, right?  Like you don’t poop, fart, or burp. And I certainly don’t pick my nose when something gets stuck up in there.  I guess I want to be viewed as a poop-less and booger-less sexy angel you want to fuck. 

Unless, I really have to poop -RIGHT NOW -RIGHT NOW-… then all manners evaporate and I don’t give a fuck… move out of the way, whom ever you are.  But if I were actually a type of being that did poop, I’d for sure have pooping preferences…don’t you?

I don’t like to poop at the clurrrrrb.  I don’t love pooping at work.  I don’t like pooping in stores or at church.  And I’m not sure when it is too soon to poop in someone’s house that you just started dating. It can’t possibly be just me, is it?  Well, I admit I have grown accustomed to my toilet seat that washes my ass hole after every alleged poop. It’s divine.

I suppose if it’s an urgent matter, I would even use a porta potty – IF there were no other options. BARF! It makes me realize that I’m in love with my toilet seat and maybe that’s the relationship I’ve been waiting for?  It sure makes me hate pooping anywhere else.    

But let’s take this a step further.  What would you do if you had some explosive diarrhea, type of shit on a date night with your hot new fuck buddy?  The reason why I ask…. is for a friend that seeks clarification…yeah a friend… LOL.  A friend who has an affinity for spicy food but knows they shouldn’t eat it because it can cause their ulcer to flare up (and well cause some back door and plumbing problems).  I hear that as we age it gets harder to enjoy the spicy food my friend longs for (“age” meaning our real age and not our Botox age).

Would you still go on the date with a case of the tummy rumbles? What if you really liked the guy and didn’t want to disappoint him? Do you cancel? Would you just go and not have sex?  Would you quietly and secretly stay close to their restroom, or would you shatter their views of you not pooping by repeatedly blowing up their toilet, if need be?   

I’m sure everyone’s had a tummy ache and the poops -butt – do you want to experience that  around one of the hottest guy you’ve dated?   My “friend” should have just cancelled immediately, instead of trying to let it literally pass or douche it out unsuccessfully. It’s some really good dick and that’s hard for me … I mean my friend to pass up.

And let’s say on another night you go over to get some of that good dick and on this eve you don’t have the poops.  Butt before you arrived you did a thorough clean out at your own home; before your dick excitedly dripped all their way to the hottie’s home. But then as you are making out, undressing, and his cock is in your mouth you feel your tummy “GURRRRGLE.”  Wide eyed, tummy bubbles lead to a thought bubble, “Aaah shit!”

Is it apropos to excuse yourself to douche in your new friend’s house?  Or would you cut the night short? You really wanted to get fucked but not under the new conditions. I mean they already know what your butt hole looks like and have penetrated it repeatedly, allegedly.  So, what’s the big deal?  Can you finally accept that this person already knows you pretty damn well and you can stop pretending you’re some mysteriously maintenance-free Palm Springs unicorn?

One day douching at each other’s house is not going to feel so taboo, isn’t it?    What about if it was a stranger’s house, a random hookup? I hear some homos do that sorta thing out here. 😉

Maybe this is what becoming comfortable with someone actually looks like. Not some grand declaration of love, but reaching the point where you can finally say, “I’m going to need your bathroom for a minute or five..” without feeling like you’ve destroyed every ounce of mystery or dignity you had left. Romance, apparently, is beautiful they say. I also hear them say, “Pass the Frank’s Hot sauce.”

So as my “friend” struggles with the thought of being comfortable douching at someone else’s house or pooping on another toilet seat (that doesn’t wash your ass for you), the president of this once great nation shits himself wherever he goes. He makes no effort to conceal his stank.

And they call gay people gross.  They are the ones who shit themselves, sit in it, and diddle little kids.  Like ewe. Even worse, are the hate filled people that follow this devil willingly.

Again, for those pearl clutchers who are going to say this blog post is gross cause it talks about poop…  I say, calm all the way down.   How else do cum dumpsters get the cum out their derriere? Duh. Tootie their fruity booty clean on the toilet.

One can’t hold on to you forever, can I?  

And if you are offended by poop, then maybe do more for your country and get out the vote for dems this November.  Encourage everyone to vote to save this country from the Nazi takeover.  This is not a drill.  The life of this country is literally on the line.  Do you want to see a senior citizen shit himself while robbing our country blind forever?  Not me, not even in a porno, much less in real life. Do more to ensure democracy lives! Do your part!

You think talking about shit is still bad? Well so is the state of our country and you just wait; it will get worse if YOU don’t do everything in YOUR power to stop this evil from spreading like the feces in his diaper.  You too will have the shits if they continue to remove safety precautions for your food, water, and  environment.  Cyclospora for er’body!

Yet, in all the shit we are dealing with… I feel a little dang lucky.  I finally met someone that I genuinely enjoy hanging out with, banging, and talking to. Someone I can share my naughty side with is important to me.  It’s new and I’m not trying to get ahead of myself or let feelings take over completely.  Yet, I realize this is the first time I’ve allowed myself to remove all of those deeply embedded heteronormative Catholic rules I’ve grown accustomed to. You know, like monogamy or what a relationship is supposed to look like. Or that one person can be everything to someone else. Could I actually be enough for someone else?

I don’t have to follow somebody else’s relationship or dating rulebook. Maybe two people get to figure out what works for them, as long as there’s honesty, respect, communication, and genuine care. (And some good dick.) *Will date for good dick*

Who knows where this will go… I hope I don’t fuck it up.   Who am I kidding?  I’ll probably fuck it up- I’m rusty.  Butt he does fuck me really good. 😊 I didn’t realize how sex deprived I really was. WAS! This feels pretty damn good.

Fuckin Frank’s,

The Happy Homo

PS- I love you more and more everyday).  

PSS  In the words of the Chicks, “March..march to my own drum.”   “Hey, hey I’m an army of one.”  No one is coming to save us(a). We have to save ourselves, these innocent life forms on land, sea, and air, and this planet.  Republicans created this blasphemous and venomous beast.  The rest of us(a) will have to take care of it because they aren’t cleaning up or fixing their own shit! (And yes, I know I misspelled “but” incorrectly above- its was on purpose. Butt of course it was.)

PSSS   I know I’m late to the party…but in case you haven’t watched it yet and you like scary movies too, a must watch is, “Obsession.”  The actors were sooo good! The actress who plays Nikki-  YAAAAS BITCH, YAAS!

PSSSS If you like weed and cartoons… you should watch, “Dang” on Netflix. Watch the episode where they hit da clurrrb. 🙂

PSX5 Ya’ll know I love me some Jenny from da Block, but I think she got a new social media person recently. They literally bore me! Yes, I know I can’t believe I said that about JLO. These one liners they post – barf. Her in a kitchen, “Guess what I’m cooking.” Her in a red dress, “Red dress day.” Her sitting on a fence, “Guess where I’m at.” Shit like that is drab! Do better for her! She deserves better whomever you are! How dare you make me not like her posts. *angry eyes* I love you Jennifer. Something else I hate… her new JLo Fusion from her beauty line…no not the contents – that shit is bomb! But the container- it suuucks. I’ll still buy it tho – love you JLo. Also not in love with Miley’s new album 🙁 maybe it will grow on me. Maybe this container for the JLo Fusion will grow on me too.