As I look through the clouds of weed smoke just beyond the bong, I realize that somewhere between my sweat soaked clothes from the desert heat, the abundance of hot sexy Daddies all about, and making questionable decisions, I can now add stories about my dating adventures. I realized something else too….
Just like that.. I’m living my own real-life version of Sex in the City. The biggest difference? This story isn’t set in Manhattan. My backdrop and crazy real-life version of Sex in the City is based right here in Palm Motha Fuckin Springs. And like duh bitches, of course I’m the Carrie in my own story.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Who even knows if anyone ever reads these? But if you are and do, just know there are so many good (if not great) reasons for a slight pause. Bitches, I’ve been living my best gay life! If that’s not a good reason for a pause- nothing is. I find myself living at a way more fun frequency than I have been in a long time. And it’s about fuckin time.
An unexpected perk of no longer being besties with an 84+ year old… well I’ve gotten to see another side of Palm Springs. And I like it. Not that that I didn’t have a great time with that 84+ year old, but it had its limits. I’ve found such a welcoming, vibrant, horny and fuckin sexy community. And get this…some of them are even our neighbors! (or like 5 minutes away! Yay for horny me!)
And who the fuck knew Sundays were Sunday Fundays out here? I think my Utah roots are showing. Growing up, Sundays were pretty quiet days. Many businesses were closed, so no fun allowed on Sundays. You can’t even buy liquor on Sundays because the State Liquor Store is closed. So, I guess I kinda assumed incorrectly, and I’m glad about it. Because you bitches out here are like, “Before work on Monday, lets get another one in.” YOU are too much fun on Sundays out here. *Ya’ll be getting down on Sundays and ya’ll be fuckin er’day… retired my ass. This city is filled with horny nasty men; yeah for gay little ol’ me.
I have a new “temporary” roommate, (long story short- he’s like the gay brother you never wished for but feel compelled to love anyway). The other day he tried to tell me about myself! Yup, that hoe tried to read me correctly for filth or filthy. I was just minding my own business innocently gettin ready to hit da clurrrbs and he interrupted, “OoOh, look at him. He’s feeling himself. He feelin himself these days. Sex parties yes. Busy on the weekend yes..…busy. She busy.”
Why yes, I’ve been a little busy body as of late. I have so many fun stories to share, of course names of the naughty and guilty would be changed…. But I’ve turned over a new leaf. And on the other side of that leaf was all these delicious butt holes and cocks. Who knew leaf turning could be so fun?
I really do feel like my Happy Homo life is just about to begin. I know…I know. It only took me 4 freakin years to let a little loose (like I am now). And now that I’ve started to embrace it and you, I don’t want to stop.
So what? I’m a late desert trauma bloomer here…but I still hope to bud or bloom for so many of you out here…. And vice versa. Or maybe just bloom for one really good guy…. You know Mr. Right… more like MR. ONE Right AFTER ANOTHER! (That’s supposed to be funny.) *A Good Ol’ Palm Springs Next* (I could do monogamy or exclusivity if it were the right guy. But the gayest question still remains… can gay men be truly monogamous?)
Who knows what this Palm Springs life has in store for me? I feel like my options have never been more abundant. It literally is a whole new world, new mindset, and a better version of myself than before. I even look better!
Oh my heck, I still have a few other Palm Springs Cherries I have yet to pop. Who’s in to help? And I hope to be popping ‘em in the near future. I mean, there’s no real time limit, but why wait? Who knows, it might just be your hole at Casa Oliver that gets it one day or mine. I hope to see some of you there. (Casa Oliver – you guessed it is on the “To Do- Everyone” list) There are still so experiences I haven’t had, places I haven’t been, traditions I haven’t participated in yet, and plenty of Palm Springs milestones still waiting on my personal bucket list.
I hope I sound genuine when I say I’m truly very happy to be here with most of you. Now I feel very welcomed…and tis an awesome feeling. *Fag is in shock* I can’t believe this can be my life. I can’t believe by letting go of all that shit that was weighing me down… it would affect everything around me and how I navigate the rest of my life through it.
What is also shocking and surprising to me is I don’t even know that many people yet, but I do feel integrated into this community. I’m still building friendships, loves, fuck buddies, and having fun. And what a community it is! I feel like if I accidently left my car in neutral when I parked my car at the gym and hurried inside without even putting on my parking breaks and my car rolled out in the middle of the street…. that you guys would push it back into the parking spot it rolled out of before I came back out. I even think you’d leave a kind note telling me to do better next time. That’s a cool feeling. That’s community. That’s love for your neighbors. Oh my, that’s an awesome feeling.
In spite or despite the past heartaches, heart breaks, trauma and soul injuring discrimination I’ve experienced in my time… one thing remains true. Life goes on. At least if we let it. IF WE LET IT!
Yup, there was an actual moment where I had to make a choice. Am I going to participate in this life and let it actually go on? or remain an unfulfilled or un-filled homo? I could stay stuck in all the pain, disappointments, and fears that had piled up over the years, or I could decide that my story wasn’t over yet. It’s still being written.
I chose me. I chose to let life go on.
If you find yourself in the same situation… where you aren’t sure about yourself, the world, and questioned if kindness is real or whether good people actually exist, let me save you some time on your journey. THEY DO and it is.
Fuck those corrupt sons of bitches CURRENTLY running shit. Kindness, honesty, integrity, and being a good human being still matter. Truth still matters. I stopped choosing stagnation. I chose life. I chose freedom and liberty, but we might have to fight for it in our future. I chose to chase my possibilities and the pursuit of my own happiness… in all things…especially inside you and inside me. Don’t you want some happiness inside you?
What would have happened if I didn’t let life go on after all THAT shit? Well, I’d be home never experiencing a fun underwear night. I’d be at home never experiencing the Tea Dances or bouncing around on the dance floor like a mad man at Hunters, Dicks or Oscar’s.
Instead I’d be waiting for my pizza order to be delivered and expecting Prince Charming to deliver it. He’d knock on my door, I’d open it and we’d fall madly in love in my doorway. We would share each other’s pepperonis, until we were full.
My own Mr. Big won’t be delivering my next pizza. Life wasn’t going to knock on my door and make me participate. I had open the door and walk out of it on my own and into a vibrant and mostly loving community.
And so what if I’m a terrible dancer when I’m drunk or stoned? Seriously, if I can’t get a little messy, fuckered up and hit a dance floor in Palm Springs, and dance like nobody’s watching, even though everybody probably is, then where exactly is a hoe supposed to let loose?
The funny thing is that people sometimes assume that because I’m a therapist, I’m supposed to have it all together all the time. As if therapists don’t break or need fun, laughter, adventure, or ridiculously fun nights out in order to reset.
Trust me, we’re human too. We like dancing. We like music. We like to fuck.
I’d forgotten how much fun… dancing is or fucking is. I don’t know if that makes sense but it’s true. My whole life was on pause and I hit play. I’m just having fun.
“I just want to lose myself to the groove….everybody get up and dance.”
Madonna
Speaking of dancing…. I’m not sure if I’m doing the Elaine Benes or if people are staring at me for good reasons. Am I a good dancer? I dunno. Probably sometimes. Am I having the time of my life? Yup.
And at this point, that’s all that really matters to me. I’m not dancing because I’m good at it. I’m dancing because I’m finally allowing myself to enjoy life. After all the trauma, that feels like a pretty beautiful thing.
Whatever the reasons for the looks, the photos, or the videos… I’m not planning on stopping. I’m not sure if I’m Elaine’ing the fuck out or not, but I’m having fun. I realize there may be more videos of me dancing than I’m comfortable with out there, but whatever the reason for the phones, I’m making my peace with it. I’m releasing years of frustration on that dance floor, and it feels good to get it out of me.
But I don’t think that its all bad, that’s just naturally where my mind goes because that’s what I know. That’s what life has shown me up to this point. Yet, I have heard some good and sweet feedback from various people…
“You’re a vibe.”
“Wherever you are on the dance floor -is the middle of the room.”
Like what? Who says nice shit like that to people like me? I sure could get used to this.
And in a conversation last weekend with two hot white dudes (that stopped me at a bar) and yes, one was a yummy ginger, both hot.
Me- I’ve never seen you guys before.
Ginger- We’ve seen you.
Me- What?
Ginger- We watch you on the dance floor at Hunters.
Me – WHAAT? Oh sorry I smoke weed sometimes.
Ginger- How come you dance with your eyes closed at times?
Me- Cause sometimes it feels like the whole room is watching me. If I close my eyes, I won’t get nervous and I can just feel the music.
Ginger- Its cause we are all watching.
I’ve even had some hot Latinos say to me on another night, “Oh you are bad ass. You’re hot… and you dance like you from Compton. That’s how they get down in Compton.” Now I’ve never been to Compton, but I’m honored and Compton bitches sound way fun and sexy. LOL I’ve even had another guy come and tell me in my ear, “I just want you to know these guys are filming you. I just thought you should know.” I replied, “Aaah, thank you. That’s very sweet of you to tell me. I know. Its okay.” But really they should at least buy me a drink first. 😉
We used to be a country where being a Mexican Carrie (half Samantha) it was safe to travel around (our once) great nation. Now black people are getting lynched all over the south. Brown people are being kidnapped, beaten and sold. I hope these communities and all communities fight back and meet those racist fucks with the same energy; take one out if they are there to take you out. One less bigot makes the world a safer place for everybody. Fight back…. protect yourselves. I’ve never been well traveled (yet) but Compton might not be on my top 5 places I want to go, but now that I think about it, where is safe anymore?
I’m trying to navigate with caution these days but also with a little bit of recklessness abandonment! What? I already said I like fun, duh.
I’ve been up to sooo much since my last blog post. There’s at least a dozen funny stories I could write and just might. I’ve been proposed to twice by strangers at the bar, that’s new. I’ve kissed or made out with more hot sexy men in 3 months than I have in 20 freakin years and maybe my whole life. LIKE HOOOOT! And really, I thought shit was getting good when I had the opportunity to make out with one of PS’s hot favorite porn daddies. Yet it got better…. I have the chance to fuck him if I ever stop being a pussy and my abs finally come in. (I’d feel more comfortable fucking that kinda hotness with a set of sexy abs myself. I mean I have to bring something to the table were going to fuck on.)
Yet I didn’t think it could get better than that…but yet again it did! It did the otha’ day!
I was at bar and two of the most ridiculously hottest men I’d ever seen in my whole life were there. Each had on harnesses and were in sexy underwear. All eyes were on them… at least mine were. As I passed the hot blond as I walked through the bar, I stopped to tell him just how hot he was. He looked at me in my eyes and said, “You are too.” And then he grabbed me and stuck his tongue down my throat. I FUCKING LOOOVED IT! I thought bubbled myself, *Is this really happening?*
Later, as I passed the two hot men on a patio. One of them grabbed me. It was the other hot as fuck guy. He said, “I see you were making out with my husband.” I replied, “Yes. Yes, I was. I knew you guys were together. YOU both are so hot. I knew it! I called it.” I waived to my friend and said, “See told you they are married. So hot.”
He then said, “I want you to make out with my husband again.” So being that I do whatever I’m told when that kind of opportunity with that kind of incredibly hot ass man comes along and he orders me to do something, — I do something. I kissed his husband and then he pointed to his nipples. Then I went in on his nipples. Then the blond ordered me to kiss his hot husband. Again, if you are that insanely hot…I’m probably just going to comply with your orders. I looked at his eyes and said one word, “Yup.” I was on his face faster than I knew I could move.
I went back and forth kissing them and their nipples. Then they ordered me to suck their cocks in the bar, and I really, really wanted to. YOU WOULD TOO. Not exaggerating, they were both insanely hot! So, I closed my eyes and went down on my knees and began sucking them both off. Switching back and forth… okay fine maybe that last part didn’t happen, but it should have. I didn’t want to get in trouble or get kicked out of the bar. After I said no, they still asked for my handle on a certain app and I couldn’t remember cause I’m hardly on there. But the hotties offered up theirs. I was so happy and in shock that I forgot to repeat it to myself over and over and over… cause of the ADHD. And wouldn’t you know it…I forgot and by the time I realized it they are long gone.
I remember a conversation I had as I walked away from them with my friend at my side. My friend said, “You could have at least included me.” I replied, “Hey, it’s every gay for himself if they are that fuckin hot. I actually forgot you were there for a minute. I was just doing what I was told. You would have too.” He didn’t respond because he knows he would have done the same, and so would have you!
The moral of my sluttiness is if you have a shot- take it. You never know if you don’t try. And if you get a “No” so the fuck what. Not everyone is on my erotic map and I’m clearly not on everyone’s erotic map either (stupid trainer).
I was also thinking… what would happen if I decided to not sleep with that hot porn star daddy that we all love? Would I look like a complete poser? I mean how am I going to reach that beautiful hole with them big ol’ sexy butt cheeks in the way and those long ass legs? I’m just a lowly average Christian man. Only I believe in the actual teachings of Jesus, not like these fake ass Christians in the republican party or administration that is literally poisoning our food supply. *Gay Christian Eye Roll* And who am I kidding I’m totes going to fuck that hot porn star daddy (if he still lets me), even if I need a step stool.
Looksie, I realize I’m new to the dating scene, but I can still count on both hands and toes the different sex partners I’ve had recently. (That needs to change.) LOL but I do have some repeat fuck buddies that are fun. We have an agreement that it’s just fun, fucking and no one catches feelings.
But what if I started to catch some feelings with the new guy? Yea, there’s a new guy. And he did ask if we could be more than just fuck buddies. Not like monogamy or anything, but a space where catching feelings is permitted. I like feelings. Duh, I’m a therapist remember? And he’s hot.
So, did this Palm Springs Mexican Carrie find himself a Mr. Big? I mean it’s big enough for me, almost a little too big if you ask me. What? I’m not like some of you bitches, you know who you are (again with my trainer), but I could literally be speaking to sooo many of you right now.
But Mr. Big is fuckin hot, has a great ass, will flip if he must (and he must), has a great sense of humor and has some fun and welcoming friends. I met them the other day and they didn’t even seem to mind I was dressed in a half slutty tank top; in fact I think they liked it. And besides my date’s outfit was way more fun and slutty than mine. I hope when my ass finally looks that good and edible that I’m brave enough to wear that too. Hot…yummy cracker white man with blue eyes- yum. Wash, rinse and repeat? Actually, I don’t mind if I do.
I realize that even if it’s not my own Mr. Big and I have to Palm Springs share him with ya’ll (which the idea sits more well inside me than ever before)– it’s Mr. Big for me right now and hopefully a couple times a week moving forward. And that’ll do… heck… it’s been more Mr. Big than I’ve had in a long ass time. Its dating… and I’m rusty. Practice makes perfect.
It is nice to get back out there and gosh I haven’t been fucked like that in years. So, take your shot if you have one. You never know what’s going to happen. *Oprea Glasses* I can’t wait to see how this turns out….
And knowing some of you guys like to take my picture and not quite sure if it’s a compliment or if you are just being mean, but I wanna say with my whole chest, “Take a video it’ll last longa!” And I don’t care… I’m just a slutty little gay guy out there feeling free enough to have the time of his life on the dance floor.
“People, they might talk about us, yeah. I don’t care.”
“Everybody’s watchin’ now, oh, yeah I don’t care.”
Madonna (Happy Belated Birthday)
Again, if I can’t dance like a crazed gay here then where can I?
Sex in Palm Springs,
A Happier Homo Than Before
PS And I tell you that Jennifer Lopez said this was her “Happy Era.” Gurrrl, me too! Happier Homo than before. And the thing that would make it even better? More JLo music on these Palm Springs dance floors, like, “Everything’s Fine.”
PSS I’m in love with this album
PSSS See I told ya’ll you should plant your own food and stock up on supplies. This administration is trying to poison us(a) all. No more beef, no more blue berries and no more lettuce ???? WTF.
I’m telling you… get some extra water and nonperishable food items. Midterms are a few months away and you know that corrupt son of a bitch will do anything to keep his power unchecked. And just when they kicked everyone off of Food Stamps… its sounds sooo planned. Poison and starve the American people… make them sick but too afraid to be vaccinated. And we suckers are just taking it on the chin. November better fuckin hurry. Americans need to vow to get back what those crooks take.
PSSSS Sometimes Utah follows me… and still tries to tell me what to do. This is my response to a family member who tried to shame me all the way from Utah. “Ps News Flash- I’m not in Utah anymore. And I really am proud of all the hard work that I’ve accomplished.
I’m a single gay man and for the first time in my life I’ve got some baby muscles. I’m almost 50 and never felt sexier. It took a lot of time and effort to finally see results. If you have an issue with me posting pictures of my body or me saying how much fun I’m having making out with A LOT of hot guys then you should probably unfollow or unfriend me (even if you are family).
Cause as soon as my abs come in (and they will cause Im working hard) I will be posting the heck out of it. And when my chesticles get big and I can make them bounce and dance on their own – I’ll be posting videos of that too!
I’m not desperate for attention- I’m getting it! It is flowing. For the first time in years I feel hot. I’m single and in Palm Springs with my people… why the heck not live my best life?
Strangers were taking pics of me last night at underwear night (and other nights too). My outfit last night was conservative compared to many One guy asked for my number and sent me a text with one picture. He’s hot and when I go out on a date with him- I won’t be thinking about my nieces or nephews. I won’t be asking my family members who voted for trump for their condescending “help.” Gurl, you didn’t even invite me to your wedding…. I don’t need your input. Your actions speak loud.
I’m not living for my family or their comfort anymore. I’m finding myself and my own happiness. If my little brown body and posts about me kissing other guys bothers you- goodbye.
I’m not desperate for attention- I’m enjoying every freaking minute of it! I’m genuinely getting more positive attention than I’ve ever experienced before
